Accent Accident

Nick Lachey got out at the right time.

During my traditional Sunday sports marathon, I was privvy to the Jessica Simpson commercial where she hawks some HDTV. Now, we have an HDTV, so listening to what Jessica Simpson has to say was, per usual, not necessary. Instead, I, per usual, paid attention to her appearance. It's not looking good.

For the past year or so, Jessica has looked alot like a tranny, but these new commercials are even worse. Look at her weird, overly-lipsticked mouth. Creepy. She really looks like Steve Buscemi in Billy Madison, when he's putting on lipstick, writing his Hit List.

ANYWAY (Klosterman style)

The commercial is taken from a scene in Dukes Of Hazzard, which I have never scene. I love the work of Jay Chandrasekhar, but I didn't like the idea of seeing Jessica Simpson mangle a southern accent for 2 hours. Originally, I was baffled that someone could be such a bad actress that they could actually be Southern and still struggle to act with a Southern accent. But it happens more than you think.

Matt Damon, for some crazy reason, has a terrible Boston accent in both Good Will Hunting and The Departed. It's more cartoonish and let's face it, no one has that bad of an accent (not even me when I'm drunk in a foreign state and want to draw attention to myself).

The accent that bugs me more than all is used by a man who made his mark talking with a terrible accent. I'm talking about Wilmer Valderrama, who played Fez on "That 70's Show". I'm sure you know, that Fez has some ridiculously vague foreign accent, which is a constant plot foible. "Where is Fez from? He's soooo foreign", etc. That's acting, no big deal.

However, now, he has a new show on MTV called Yo Momma in which he goes to the ghettos of California and now New York City, and has people compete in telling Yo Momma jokes (seriously, that's the show). The show is based in reality, and Wilder acts as host, so you think he'd talk in his normal voice that has no signs of an accent. But no, in some ridiculous ploy to feel safe on the streets of South Central, he talks in this weird, ghetto-ized Latino tinted accent.

What a douchebag.
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