Details Of My Awesomeness Have Been Greatly Exaggerated Are Completely Spot On

An awesome shout out must go out to my homie Dan who, despite being a card carrying Philadelphia Flyers fan, was awesome enough to nab me an autographed Vampire Weekend CD in New York City last night. They personalized it to me to avoid it being eBay-ed (despite their poison-Ivy League educations, the suckers have never heard of jeffBay [ka-ching]) and it'll be in my mailbox in some time. I'm stoked.

So stoked, in fact, that I will now pass along this description of the event from Dan's experience at the in-store trendathon.

I actually stood next to this über-nerdy music dork (like myself) and his girlfriend in line for an hour or two. They went to Fordham so we chatted about college and music downloads and vinyl and Vampire Weekend and stuff like that.

Sad thing is, Vampire Weekend has seemed to spawn this entirely different hipster creation... it's more of a mix between a Stanford-esque preppy kid (sweater/cardigan tied around shoulders, pink Brooks Brothers shirt, skin-tight jeans, and docksiders) and the 'Death Cab for Cutie'-Lovin' Williamsburg-spawned scum. and all of them were pretty young... but the band really put on a fun show and their music rules so i was able to ignore their emo aids for the most part.

Wow, sounds like Katelyn and I need to hit up a combination of the most expensive thrift store we can find, Urban Outfitters and the Polo Outlet before February 9ths show at the Museum Of Fine Arts (sounds like I should also get a monocle to round things out.) The good news is that I'm pretty sure I can find all those stores in the Natick Collection now.

Holy Shit: The Video Exists!

More than a year ago I brought you this post, transcribing my favorite Conan moment ever. Today, with thanks to Katelyn, the video has resurfaced on Sports Guy's blog.

Hallelujah.

The good stuff happens at the 4:00 minute mark.

Visual Proof That I'd Look Out Of Place In A Band


Video: Click Here

Blake Lively's One Mental Roadblock

Accepted was on HBO the other night so I watched it again. Despite the fact that Justin Long kinda creeps me out and it makes me remember the I originally saw the movie alone while waiting for people to get out of work, I like that flick.

I noticed, however, that Blake Lively refers to Bartelby (Long) as 'B'. What appeared to me as a mere nickname last year now revealed itself to be her weakness. In Gossip Girl she also refers to her best friend as 'B'.

Coincidence? Type casting? A bizzare form of Autism? WTF you watch Gossip Girl?

We may never know. Well, except for the last question. I totally watch that show.

Top 10 Albums of 2007: Blame Canada

There's something special brewing up in the Great White North. Some of the best music in the past few years comes from Canada. This year it was even more apparent while compiling my top 10 list. The best part, in my opinion, is that it's very familial. Everyone is in everyone else's band.

Check this out (names of bands who put out albums in '07 are bolded):

Lonesome American Isaac Brock of Modest Mouse signed Wolf Parade to their record deal. Wolf Parade’s lead singer Spencer Krug also fronts Sunset Rubdown and he’s in the band Swan Lake with Frog Eyes’ lead singer Cary Mercer. Dan Bejar is a member of both Swan Lake and Wolf Parade and, oh yeah, he’s also in a little band called The New Pornographers.

Then, on the other end of Canada, take the band Stars. Owen Pallet who wrote the Arcade Fire’s string movements for their first two albums, helped work on some Stars remixes. Three Stars members are also in Broken Social Scene, whose alumni include Kevin Drew and Leslie Feist (she of the catchy 1,2,3,4 ipod Nano song).

Pretty cool, eh? With limited amounts of adieu, here's my Top 10 of 2007.

#10 Frog Eyes - Tears Of The Valedictorian

There's a good chance I cannot pinpoint one specific lyric from this entire album. Such is Carey Mercer's vocal styling. But he sings in front of swirling, chaotic melodies that together make for some amazing songs.

Key Track: "Bushels". 9 Minutes of insanity that somehow mesh to create some beautiful chaos.

#9 Peter, Bjorn and John - Writer's Block

This album came out in their native Sweden last year, but since it didn't make it stateside (legally) until February of 2007, I'm putting it on the list. All hail technicalities! If you haven't heard anything from this album you probably don't make it out much. Actually, you probably do make it out much seeing as songs from this album get tons of play in countless ads and TV shows. You know that song with all the whistling? That's "Young Folks" by Peter Bjorn and John.

Key Track: 'Up Against The Wall". Alternately referred to as, that song in the Levis commercial.

#8 Vampire Weekend

This is one of those "widely circulated/not yet released" albums. Consider it like a rap mix tape minus Little Wayne. Vampire Weekend is made up of a few hyper literate dudes from Columbia University who play a style of music described as "Upper West Side Sowetto". I have no idea what this means, but I do know they play catchy little ditties, sing about Cape Cod and Boston and their album, when officially released, will probably be in the Top 10 of 2008.

Key Track: "Oxford Comma". I'm a sucker for songs about punctuation.

#7 Sunset Rubdown - Random Spirit Lover

A lot of the musical styling I mentioned in reference to Frog Eyes can be appropriated here, although Sunset Rubdown does it with much more flair. I would describe this album as if you were to head to the theater on acid. And, while I'm unfamiliar with both (going to the theater and doing acid) it sounds about right.

Key Track: "The Mending Of The Gown". Indescribable. Might be my favorite song of the year and is most definitely my favorite to sing. I need to find indie rock karaoke.

#6 Stars - In Our Bedroom After The War

Brilliant album, great for, uh, lazing about in your bedroom (wars not necessary). This placement on the list is in no way related to the fact that I know the brother-in-law of Stars' drummer and he has sent me free gear in the mail.

Key Track: "Window Bird". Hard to pick just one as the whole album has a magnificent flow.

#5 The White Stripes - Icky Thump

I'm still harboring ill feelings towards Meg White for canceling out on the Austin City Limits Music Festival. As if her acute anxiety wasn't bad enough, now she has to worry about an anonymous blogger from the intrawebs hating on her. Great album though. Really shocking.

Key Track: "Conquest". A duel between Jack White's guitar and a mariachi trumpeter?! Sign me up!

#4 Arctic Monkeys - Favourite Worst Nightmare

Despite all the Canuck love I'm still a sucker for Brit rock. This album took awhile to grow on me, especially being in the shadow of their spectacular debut, but I really do love it. Alex Turner, despite being one of the tiniest men I have ever accidentally bumped into, is still the finest songwriter concerning songs about being in your early 20's.

Key Track: "Brianstorm". Biggest potential diss/compliment to anyone named Brian ever recorded. Also happens to be laden with fantastic riffs.

#3 Radiohead - In Rainbows

I was finally able to download this album at about 2am the night it came out. Suffice it to say, I was up until 4:30am with my headphones in, listening and re-listening to this majestic album. And, I'm stealing this quote from Rolling Stone, many people paid more for a gallon of gas this year than they did to buy this amazing album.

Key Track: "All I Need". Thom Yorke singing over a meandering synth crunch. So good.

#2 Modest Mouse - We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank

Critics of this album say it's too accessible. What?! Sounds like some upset fanboys, mad that their favorite band made catchier music. This album is heavily nautically themed and features one of the world's most unusual vocalists in Isaac Brock. I love it from start to finish and it's inspired me to listen to every Modest Mouse recording I can get my hands on.

Key Track: "Education". I picked this because it's my favorite demonstration of Brock's unique vocals, though really every track is a winner. "Dashboard" and "Missed The Boat" being two standouts.

#1 Arcade Fire - Neon Bible

Who's surprised? My favorite band, my favorite live act, my favorite album of the year. It all goes together so perfectly. One of the best albums ever recorded, in my opinion, featuring blistering group vocals and swooping orchestral movements. A masterpiece.

Key Track: A tie between "Intervention" and "Keep The Car Running"

Let me know what you think!

Would've Been A Sweeter Shirt If They Lost...




Ah the spoils of working in local media. The money's no good, but the t-shirts! Oh, the t-shirts!

Snow And The Subsequent Addition Of Our 4th Bathroom

Amidst the clusterfuckery of snow storm after snow storm in the Boston area (We've already topped all of '06-'07's snow totals and it only officially became winter yesterday), most every place of business decided to run out of rock salt and ice melt.

Backed into a corner that we had just shoveled out of, Paul and I were forced to resort to (our last resort?) kittie littering our entire fucking driveway, steps and walk.

Surprisingly, it worked better than anything ever had before, and BONUS: we can now shit in our driveway!

Unfortunately Getting Addicted To Making My Own LOLcats

I'm Sorry For Further Perpetuating The Myth That Hannukah Is An Extremely Religious Holiday

It seems every year I go through the same rigmarole of explaining to goys people that Hannukah really isn't a holiday of extreme religious importance.


This year I personally caused my movement a step backwards by going on vacation over the course of Hannukah. The following conversation ensued many a time:

-I'm off for the next 9 days
-Oh, for Hannukah, right?
-It's Hannukah?

Oh well, thems are the breaks.

Not Going On Isiah Thomas' Resume


Last night was absolutely ridiculous. It was one of those scenes were everyone in the stands was just laughing and giggling at the trainwreck that is the New York Knicks. Even the beer vendors were shocked at the Knicks suckery. They didn't believe me when I told them the Knicks score after the 1st quarter. To be fair, it was the 4th time I'd stopped by for Sam Adams, so I probably wouldnt believe me either.

Proof I Did Something Extracurricular In College

If you're a religious reader of this blog (aka my Mom or someone who's computer is inexplicably frozen on this website), you probably noticed my pimpage of the newly minted CBS property, "We Need Girlfriends". That of course, being that it was created by 3 of my best friends from Hofstra.

I'm sure you're wondering, 'Jeff, why didn't you get in on any of that sweet action? Were you too busy pursuing your dream of becoming a local newswriter?'

My answer to that question, being, 'Fuck you, insulting hypothetical.'

But I did do some majorly minor stuff with them, mostly casting, but Steve and I put our heads together to create this gem, Wuss Fight Club.

In our dreams we will one day create an entire Wuss _____ series. Like, Wuss Ocean's 11: "You're on parole, should you really be planning this?" or Wuss Old School: "Maybe I should spend some time with my new bride" or maybe even Wuss 10 Commandments: "Woah, those guys have whips!"

While you're thinking of new titles (it's addicting) check out the short film, "Wuss Fight Club"

It's the ultimate First Person Shooter


OMG. Heroin Hero exists!






(thanks to Justin)

An Ode To Thanksgiving Eve Debauchery

I wrote this last year, but all of it still stands. Except for the outdated Haggard joke:

In case you've been living under a rock, or smoking them with Reverend Ted Haggard, you know that the night before Thanksgiving is the biggest drinking night of the year. Bigger than July 4th, bigger than Cinco De Mayo, and bigger than the time you slept with that fat girl. The reason being that about 83% of every graduating high school class migrates back to wherever they graduated from (the other 17% can't make it because of out-of-state family, work, or, in my town's case, prison).

In Randolph, the big to-do was to head over to the local Knights Of Columbus (located in scenic Randolph Industrial Park!) and meet up with all the kids you couldn't stand in high school, plus your six good friends that you hang out with every weekend anyway. It's basically the same thing as a school dance except you have to pay for the booze instead of stealing it from your parents and you smoke cigarettes outside instead of in the school bathroom.

I happen to love this event despite it's utter lameness and high white trash factor. Actually, I think it's the white trash factor that keeps me going. I don't know whether it's hearing two old chums recalling fond memories of the good times they shared on the quad at Massasoit Community College, or watching two Mobil On The Run employees "talk shop" over some suds, but something has me leaving this event feeling much better about myself.

But no, it's not the self-absorbed ego boost that I really enjoy. It's the fights.

Yup, definitely the fights.

Every year a fight breaks out, every year it's awesome, but now it's why I'll never go back. Allow me to explain.

Last year, my friends and I arrived at the party, or in proper 'Dolph-speak, rolled up to the K-of-C at around 10-ish. We were lucky to get there when we did because the gates were closed soon thereafter. Why? A fight of course.

This made things difficult because half the people we wanted to see were stuck outside milling in the lobby, waiting for another fight to erupt. So, we made an executive decision, and moved to the only other place that had a bar, a Chinese Restaurant.

Right before we got there, a car flew out of the parking lot, tires squealing, only to be chased by the kid who got into a fight at the K-of-C mere hours ago. We found out later the driver of the car was the other kid in the fight. Anyways, the combatant on foot did what any rational person would do when put in this situation.... he started chasing after the car, eventually facing the front windshield from about 10 feet away, swearing his face off. So, I'm stopped in the middle of the street, watching a face-off, only one of the participants is in a car, the other, on foot.

Then, he ran the kid over with his car and took off!

Man, it was awesome. We couldn't believe what we saw.

A kid got hit with a fucking car. There's no way this year's K-of-C RHS reunion is topping that one. Not unless, this plays out on North Main Street.

Evolution of Awesome

Per Katelyn...

Watching the Arcade Fire Austin City Limits performance on PBS last night Katelyn mentioned how much Will Butler reminded her of Tim Riggins. Not so much in that he was drunkenly banging his neighbor while rearing her bastard child, but more so that they have the same hairstyle and like to hit things with much vigor.

Thoughts?