Ceci Est Notre Pays

Most people around these parts seem to be walking around tired and upset. I'm not sure why but I'd gather it has something to do with the New England Patriots losing. You might be shocked that I didn't watch the game, as you know I'm a pretty huge sports fan. And I know, I know, it's sad that I didn't watch but sometimes when you get the perfect combination of advertisement, John Cougar Mellencamp, and fate, things just go in their own direction. Allow me to explain.

I was tuned into Football Night In America aka, the Most Akward Football Pregame Show in America for the Pats-Colts. Jerome Bettis mumbled his way through some highlights and they argued who is the better quarterback, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady. This new and exciting debate obviously thrilled me, but it seems I had already picked a side long ago.

Then, it was onto the Sunday Night Football theme in which Pink, who looks like a girl that dressed up as Scarlett Johannsen for Halloween, screeches some nonsense. Then gametime. The first quarter was thrilling but unfortunately that's all I saw.

What happened? Well, from the start of the pregame show, through the first quarter, NBC showed John Cougar Mellencamp's "This Is Our Country" Chevy Silverado ad SIX fucking times. At first I despised it, then I hated it, then I picked up a thesaurus and I abhorred it. But a funny thing happened around the fourth viewing.

I felt I needed to test drive a fucking Silverado.

By the time it aired for the 6th time, I already had my keys in hand, ready to honor America the right way by buying a Silverado. You wouldn't believe it, but the dealership was PACKED with other godfearing Americans who wanted our country to be Chevy strong... Like a Rock!

Turns out, my wallet is wallet is more 'Like A Pummus Stone' than 'Like A Rock' so I ended up buying a faggy Cobalt, but whatever, you get my point. This ad works. And if it works for Americans and Chevy, can't it work elsewhere?

I think it can. Imagine being overseas, turning on the TV and watching this:

The camera shows a wide shot of a rustic looking vineyard in Bordeaux as a father and son share a moment before they resume picking grapes.

And the music slowly starts...

Je peux me tenir à côté des Choses que je pense avons raison
Et je peux me tenir à côté de L'idée de position
et à côté du combat

Clips of France's 1998 World Cup victory begin to roll.

Then a classroom of young kids enter the Louvre

Et je crois il y
A un rêve pour tout le monde
Ceci est notre pays
De la côte de l'est
A l'ouest roule en bas
le Dos de Route de Dixie à la maison
Ceci est notre pays

Napoleon, Jack Cousteau, Charles De Gaulle, Gerard Depardieu

Il y a la pièce assez ici
Pour la science pour habiter
Et il y a la pièce assez ici
Pour la religion pour pardonner
Et essayer de comprendre
Les autres gens de ce monde

Paintings of the historic storming of the Bastille flash before your eyes. The French directors of March Of The Penguins win the Oscar for Best Documentary. Mmmmmmmm

Ceci est notre pays
De la côte de l'est
A l'ouest roule en bas
le Dos de Route de Dixie à la maison
Ceci est notre pays

Now if that shit doesn't make you want to buy a fucking Peugeot, I don't know what will.
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P.S. Thanks Matt for the ridiculous "Our Country" lyrics. And thanks to my French teacher for the stellar translation; OR thanks to a free translation website for the incorrect French