An Open Letter To The Guy Who Held The Door Open For Me While I Was Still A Great Distance Away

Hey, you down that corridor. Hey, thanks for holding the door for me.

No, wait up, I'm almost there. Hold on, here I come.

Wow, finally made it. Hey, I'd like to thank you for holding that door for me but I think I'm cramping up. Don't mind me while I catch a quick breath.

You wouldn't happen to have any orange slices? Perhaps some Gatorade? Maybe an inhaler?

No on all counts? Wow, just my luck.

Anyways, before I properly thank you, let me just relace my Cross Trainers. Yikes, my ankle might be sprained. Pardon me, but could I perhaps borrow an Ace bandage?

No? Damn, well I'll survive otherwise.

Sorry about all of that. But, hey, I really appreciate you holding this door for me. I saw you notice me get out of my car about 300 yards back and, man was I psyched you started holding the door for me as soon as I unbuckled my seatbelt.

I don't know how you knew that I can't open doors for myself. It all stems back to this debilitating fear that, well, I won't bore you with that.

Anyways, I didnt want your act of modern day kindness to go unnoticed so I sprinted from my car to the door, lest you feel uncomfortable.

Oh, you saw me dodge that car? Yah, it was pretty close.

Well, I need to go and look for an oxygen mask, but once again, I really appreciate you holding the door for me when i was 1/4 of a mile away, making me run akwardly to accept your goodwill gesture.

Asshole
____________________________________________________________________________________

A shoutout to Jimmy "Gunshot" Clark who created a Facebook group dedicated to this blog. Jimmy and I go way back to when we were RA's and would bust up parties and steal booze. Good times!

If you want to join the group, which has a completely obnoxious name (don't blame me), then here's the link. Sorry, older readers, as this link won't work if you're not a Facebook member, and I'm pretty sure signing up for Facebook after the age of 26 automatically signs you up for the sex offender registry.

YouTube Clip Of The Day