Friday, November 30, 2007

Not Going On Isiah Thomas' Resume

Last night was absolutely ridiculous. It was one of those scenes were everyone in the stands was just laughing and giggling at the trainwreck that is the New York Knicks. Even the beer vendors were shocked at the Knicks suckery. They didn't believe me when I told them the Knicks score after the 1st quarter. To be fair, it was the 4th time I'd stopped by for Sam Adams, so I probably wouldnt believe me either.

Proof I Did Something Extracurricular In College

If you're a religious reader of this blog (aka my Mom or someone who's computer is inexplicably frozen on this website), you probably noticed my pimpage of the newly minted CBS property, "We Need Girlfriends". That of course, being that it was created by 3 of my best friends from Hofstra.

I'm sure you're wondering, 'Jeff, why didn't you get in on any of that sweet action? Were you too busy pursuing your dream of becoming a local newswriter?'

My answer to that question, being, 'Fuck you, insulting hypothetical.'

But I did do some majorly minor stuff with them, mostly casting, but Steve and I put our heads together to create this gem, Wuss Fight Club.

In our dreams we will one day create an entire Wuss _____ series. Like, Wuss Ocean's 11: "You're on parole, should you really be planning this?" or Wuss Old School: "Maybe I should spend some time with my new bride" or maybe even Wuss 10 Commandments: "Woah, those guys have whips!"

While you're thinking of new titles (it's addicting) check out the short film, "Wuss Fight Club"

Monday, November 26, 2007

It's the ultimate First Person Shooter

OMG. Heroin Hero exists!

(thanks to Justin)

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

An Ode To Thanksgiving Eve Debauchery

I wrote this last year, but all of it still stands. Except for the outdated Haggard joke:

In case you've been living under a rock, or smoking them with Reverend Ted Haggard, you know that the night before Thanksgiving is the biggest drinking night of the year. Bigger than July 4th, bigger than Cinco De Mayo, and bigger than the time you slept with that fat girl. The reason being that about 83% of every graduating high school class migrates back to wherever they graduated from (the other 17% can't make it because of out-of-state family, work, or, in my town's case, prison).

In Randolph, the big to-do was to head over to the local Knights Of Columbus (located in scenic Randolph Industrial Park!) and meet up with all the kids you couldn't stand in high school, plus your six good friends that you hang out with every weekend anyway. It's basically the same thing as a school dance except you have to pay for the booze instead of stealing it from your parents and you smoke cigarettes outside instead of in the school bathroom.

I happen to love this event despite it's utter lameness and high white trash factor. Actually, I think it's the white trash factor that keeps me going. I don't know whether it's hearing two old chums recalling fond memories of the good times they shared on the quad at Massasoit Community College, or watching two Mobil On The Run employees "talk shop" over some suds, but something has me leaving this event feeling much better about myself.

But no, it's not the self-absorbed ego boost that I really enjoy. It's the fights.

Yup, definitely the fights.

Every year a fight breaks out, every year it's awesome, but now it's why I'll never go back. Allow me to explain.

Last year, my friends and I arrived at the party, or in proper 'Dolph-speak, rolled up to the K-of-C at around 10-ish. We were lucky to get there when we did because the gates were closed soon thereafter. Why? A fight of course.

This made things difficult because half the people we wanted to see were stuck outside milling in the lobby, waiting for another fight to erupt. So, we made an executive decision, and moved to the only other place that had a bar, a Chinese Restaurant.

Right before we got there, a car flew out of the parking lot, tires squealing, only to be chased by the kid who got into a fight at the K-of-C mere hours ago. We found out later the driver of the car was the other kid in the fight. Anyways, the combatant on foot did what any rational person would do when put in this situation.... he started chasing after the car, eventually facing the front windshield from about 10 feet away, swearing his face off. So, I'm stopped in the middle of the street, watching a face-off, only one of the participants is in a car, the other, on foot.

Then, he ran the kid over with his car and took off!

Man, it was awesome. We couldn't believe what we saw.

A kid got hit with a fucking car. There's no way this year's K-of-C RHS reunion is topping that one. Not unless, this plays out on North Main Street.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Evolution of Awesome

Monday, November 12, 2007

Per Katelyn...

Watching the Arcade Fire Austin City Limits performance on PBS last night Katelyn mentioned how much Will Butler reminded her of Tim Riggins. Not so much in that he was drunkenly banging his neighbor while rearing her bastard child, but more so that they have the same hairstyle and like to hit things with much vigor.


Saturday, November 10, 2007

A Message From We Need Girlfriends And Some Helpful Hints On How To Get WNG Onto TV:

TV for WNG

Hey everyone,

We've been waiting to announce the news about "We Need Girlfriends" potential TV future for a couple of months now, and we're so glad we finally got the okay to do so. So far the outpouring of support has been overwhelming. I can't even begin to tell you how much we appreciate it.

So far we're very early in the preproduction process. We've spent the past couple of weeks working on the script, but because of the writers strike, we've had to hold off. We don't have much news to report yet, but I guarantee you that WNG is in the hands of the right people. Not only are they brilliant producers that have made turned out some amazing project in the past, but they are just the nicest folks you can imagine. We thank our lucky stars every day that they found "We Need Girfriends." And, even better, they genuinely love and understand the webseries. We're in good hands with them. And we're in good hands with our managers and agents. We're lucky. We're very lucky. And we gratefully acknowledge this.

One question we've been getting a lot in emails is, "What can we do to help?" Which is unbelievable. And before we reply we'd like to say "Thank you for even asking that!"

And, well, if you'd like to help, here's our suggestion.

Make waves.

See we, like you, would love to see "We Need Girlfriends" on the CBS Fall Schedule next year. And to do that we have to make sure that everyone knows about it. Contact your favorite entertainment news website or magazine and tell them you'd like to see a story about "We Need Girlfriends." Heck, contact your least favorite and tell them the same. Write about it in your blogs or school papers or local papers or local magazines or local what have yous. Post it on your MySpace pages. Talk about it on message boards. And, heck, while you're at it, write to (or email) CBS and tell them how much you like the webseries and how you much you want to see it on TV next year.

The more this gets out there the more likely it gets all the way to series.

Again, we appreciate everything you've done for us. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. So thank you a million times over.

So you can start by going to, scrolling all the way to the bottom and clicking the Feedback button.

Then check the appropriate boxes and write something witty, charming and not at all desperate. TV stations like sane people. But, if this doesn't work we're going to sell them case after case of live squirrels.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Yeah, No It's Not

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My site is worth $59,055,072.
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Wednesday, November 07, 2007

South Park And Guitar Hero Together At Last

I thought it was going to be awesome when South Park tackled the Mighty Ducks (albeit loosely), but this is going to be fucking awesome.

Guitar Queer-o

Stan and Kyle are hooked on Guitar Hero. But Stan's superior skills on the video game damage his friendship with Kyle.
Straddling The Line Of Hilarity and Inappropriateness

Friday, November 02, 2007

Congrats to Brian, Angel and Steve of 'We Need Girlfriends' Fame

Loyal blog readers (a.k.a. Mom), you may remember how I've been bringing you updates on everyone's favorite web series WNG since its inception. Well now, all of my good pals' hard work has paid off.

Check out this from The Hollywood Reporter:

"Sex and the City" creator Darren Star has teamed with CBS to develop a comedy based on the Web series "We Need Girlfriends."

The network has handed out a script commitment to the project, which would be written by Steven Tsapelas, Angel Acevedo and Brian Amyot, the masterminds behind the original series that has drawn as many as 700,000 views per episode on YouTube during its 11-episode run.

The online "Girlfriends" chronicles the adventures of Tom (Patrick Cohen), Henry (Seth Kirschner) and Rod (Evan Bass), recent college graduates struggling to understand the complex world of the New York dating scene after they are simultaneously dumped by their long-term college girlfriends.

Star will executive produce "Girlfriends" for CBS and Sony Pictures TV, with Dennis R. Erdman and Clark Peterson serving as co-exec producers.

Congrats dudes!