Top 10 Albums of 2007: Blame Canada

There's something special brewing up in the Great White North. Some of the best music in the past few years comes from Canada. This year it was even more apparent while compiling my top 10 list. The best part, in my opinion, is that it's very familial. Everyone is in everyone else's band.

Check this out (names of bands who put out albums in '07 are bolded):

Lonesome American Isaac Brock of Modest Mouse signed Wolf Parade to their record deal. Wolf Parade’s lead singer Spencer Krug also fronts Sunset Rubdown and he’s in the band Swan Lake with Frog Eyes’ lead singer Cary Mercer. Dan Bejar is a member of both Swan Lake and Wolf Parade and, oh yeah, he’s also in a little band called The New Pornographers.

Then, on the other end of Canada, take the band Stars. Owen Pallet who wrote the Arcade Fire’s string movements for their first two albums, helped work on some Stars remixes. Three Stars members are also in Broken Social Scene, whose alumni include Kevin Drew and Leslie Feist (she of the catchy 1,2,3,4 ipod Nano song).

Pretty cool, eh? With limited amounts of adieu, here's my Top 10 of 2007.

#10 Frog Eyes - Tears Of The Valedictorian

There's a good chance I cannot pinpoint one specific lyric from this entire album. Such is Carey Mercer's vocal styling. But he sings in front of swirling, chaotic melodies that together make for some amazing songs.

Key Track: "Bushels". 9 Minutes of insanity that somehow mesh to create some beautiful chaos.

#9 Peter, Bjorn and John - Writer's Block

This album came out in their native Sweden last year, but since it didn't make it stateside (legally) until February of 2007, I'm putting it on the list. All hail technicalities! If you haven't heard anything from this album you probably don't make it out much. Actually, you probably do make it out much seeing as songs from this album get tons of play in countless ads and TV shows. You know that song with all the whistling? That's "Young Folks" by Peter Bjorn and John.

Key Track: 'Up Against The Wall". Alternately referred to as, that song in the Levis commercial.

#8 Vampire Weekend

This is one of those "widely circulated/not yet released" albums. Consider it like a rap mix tape minus Little Wayne. Vampire Weekend is made up of a few hyper literate dudes from Columbia University who play a style of music described as "Upper West Side Sowetto". I have no idea what this means, but I do know they play catchy little ditties, sing about Cape Cod and Boston and their album, when officially released, will probably be in the Top 10 of 2008.

Key Track: "Oxford Comma". I'm a sucker for songs about punctuation.

#7 Sunset Rubdown - Random Spirit Lover

A lot of the musical styling I mentioned in reference to Frog Eyes can be appropriated here, although Sunset Rubdown does it with much more flair. I would describe this album as if you were to head to the theater on acid. And, while I'm unfamiliar with both (going to the theater and doing acid) it sounds about right.

Key Track: "The Mending Of The Gown". Indescribable. Might be my favorite song of the year and is most definitely my favorite to sing. I need to find indie rock karaoke.

#6 Stars - In Our Bedroom After The War

Brilliant album, great for, uh, lazing about in your bedroom (wars not necessary). This placement on the list is in no way related to the fact that I know the brother-in-law of Stars' drummer and he has sent me free gear in the mail.

Key Track: "Window Bird". Hard to pick just one as the whole album has a magnificent flow.

#5 The White Stripes - Icky Thump

I'm still harboring ill feelings towards Meg White for canceling out on the Austin City Limits Music Festival. As if her acute anxiety wasn't bad enough, now she has to worry about an anonymous blogger from the intrawebs hating on her. Great album though. Really shocking.

Key Track: "Conquest". A duel between Jack White's guitar and a mariachi trumpeter?! Sign me up!

#4 Arctic Monkeys - Favourite Worst Nightmare

Despite all the Canuck love I'm still a sucker for Brit rock. This album took awhile to grow on me, especially being in the shadow of their spectacular debut, but I really do love it. Alex Turner, despite being one of the tiniest men I have ever accidentally bumped into, is still the finest songwriter concerning songs about being in your early 20's.

Key Track: "Brianstorm". Biggest potential diss/compliment to anyone named Brian ever recorded. Also happens to be laden with fantastic riffs.

#3 Radiohead - In Rainbows

I was finally able to download this album at about 2am the night it came out. Suffice it to say, I was up until 4:30am with my headphones in, listening and re-listening to this majestic album. And, I'm stealing this quote from Rolling Stone, many people paid more for a gallon of gas this year than they did to buy this amazing album.

Key Track: "All I Need". Thom Yorke singing over a meandering synth crunch. So good.

#2 Modest Mouse - We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank

Critics of this album say it's too accessible. What?! Sounds like some upset fanboys, mad that their favorite band made catchier music. This album is heavily nautically themed and features one of the world's most unusual vocalists in Isaac Brock. I love it from start to finish and it's inspired me to listen to every Modest Mouse recording I can get my hands on.

Key Track: "Education". I picked this because it's my favorite demonstration of Brock's unique vocals, though really every track is a winner. "Dashboard" and "Missed The Boat" being two standouts.

#1 Arcade Fire - Neon Bible

Who's surprised? My favorite band, my favorite live act, my favorite album of the year. It all goes together so perfectly. One of the best albums ever recorded, in my opinion, featuring blistering group vocals and swooping orchestral movements. A masterpiece.

Key Track: A tie between "Intervention" and "Keep The Car Running"

Let me know what you think!

Would've Been A Sweeter Shirt If They Lost...




Ah the spoils of working in local media. The money's no good, but the t-shirts! Oh, the t-shirts!

Snow And The Subsequent Addition Of Our 4th Bathroom

Amidst the clusterfuckery of snow storm after snow storm in the Boston area (We've already topped all of '06-'07's snow totals and it only officially became winter yesterday), most every place of business decided to run out of rock salt and ice melt.

Backed into a corner that we had just shoveled out of, Paul and I were forced to resort to (our last resort?) kittie littering our entire fucking driveway, steps and walk.

Surprisingly, it worked better than anything ever had before, and BONUS: we can now shit in our driveway!

Unfortunately Getting Addicted To Making My Own LOLcats

I'm Sorry For Further Perpetuating The Myth That Hannukah Is An Extremely Religious Holiday

It seems every year I go through the same rigmarole of explaining to goys people that Hannukah really isn't a holiday of extreme religious importance.


This year I personally caused my movement a step backwards by going on vacation over the course of Hannukah. The following conversation ensued many a time:

-I'm off for the next 9 days
-Oh, for Hannukah, right?
-It's Hannukah?

Oh well, thems are the breaks.

Not Going On Isiah Thomas' Resume


Last night was absolutely ridiculous. It was one of those scenes were everyone in the stands was just laughing and giggling at the trainwreck that is the New York Knicks. Even the beer vendors were shocked at the Knicks suckery. They didn't believe me when I told them the Knicks score after the 1st quarter. To be fair, it was the 4th time I'd stopped by for Sam Adams, so I probably wouldnt believe me either.

Proof I Did Something Extracurricular In College

If you're a religious reader of this blog (aka my Mom or someone who's computer is inexplicably frozen on this website), you probably noticed my pimpage of the newly minted CBS property, "We Need Girlfriends". That of course, being that it was created by 3 of my best friends from Hofstra.

I'm sure you're wondering, 'Jeff, why didn't you get in on any of that sweet action? Were you too busy pursuing your dream of becoming a local newswriter?'

My answer to that question, being, 'Fuck you, insulting hypothetical.'

But I did do some majorly minor stuff with them, mostly casting, but Steve and I put our heads together to create this gem, Wuss Fight Club.

In our dreams we will one day create an entire Wuss _____ series. Like, Wuss Ocean's 11: "You're on parole, should you really be planning this?" or Wuss Old School: "Maybe I should spend some time with my new bride" or maybe even Wuss 10 Commandments: "Woah, those guys have whips!"

While you're thinking of new titles (it's addicting) check out the short film, "Wuss Fight Club"

It's the ultimate First Person Shooter


OMG. Heroin Hero exists!






(thanks to Justin)

An Ode To Thanksgiving Eve Debauchery

I wrote this last year, but all of it still stands. Except for the outdated Haggard joke:

In case you've been living under a rock, or smoking them with Reverend Ted Haggard, you know that the night before Thanksgiving is the biggest drinking night of the year. Bigger than July 4th, bigger than Cinco De Mayo, and bigger than the time you slept with that fat girl. The reason being that about 83% of every graduating high school class migrates back to wherever they graduated from (the other 17% can't make it because of out-of-state family, work, or, in my town's case, prison).

In Randolph, the big to-do was to head over to the local Knights Of Columbus (located in scenic Randolph Industrial Park!) and meet up with all the kids you couldn't stand in high school, plus your six good friends that you hang out with every weekend anyway. It's basically the same thing as a school dance except you have to pay for the booze instead of stealing it from your parents and you smoke cigarettes outside instead of in the school bathroom.

I happen to love this event despite it's utter lameness and high white trash factor. Actually, I think it's the white trash factor that keeps me going. I don't know whether it's hearing two old chums recalling fond memories of the good times they shared on the quad at Massasoit Community College, or watching two Mobil On The Run employees "talk shop" over some suds, but something has me leaving this event feeling much better about myself.

But no, it's not the self-absorbed ego boost that I really enjoy. It's the fights.

Yup, definitely the fights.

Every year a fight breaks out, every year it's awesome, but now it's why I'll never go back. Allow me to explain.

Last year, my friends and I arrived at the party, or in proper 'Dolph-speak, rolled up to the K-of-C at around 10-ish. We were lucky to get there when we did because the gates were closed soon thereafter. Why? A fight of course.

This made things difficult because half the people we wanted to see were stuck outside milling in the lobby, waiting for another fight to erupt. So, we made an executive decision, and moved to the only other place that had a bar, a Chinese Restaurant.

Right before we got there, a car flew out of the parking lot, tires squealing, only to be chased by the kid who got into a fight at the K-of-C mere hours ago. We found out later the driver of the car was the other kid in the fight. Anyways, the combatant on foot did what any rational person would do when put in this situation.... he started chasing after the car, eventually facing the front windshield from about 10 feet away, swearing his face off. So, I'm stopped in the middle of the street, watching a face-off, only one of the participants is in a car, the other, on foot.

Then, he ran the kid over with his car and took off!

Man, it was awesome. We couldn't believe what we saw.

A kid got hit with a fucking car. There's no way this year's K-of-C RHS reunion is topping that one. Not unless, this plays out on North Main Street.

Evolution of Awesome

Per Katelyn...

Watching the Arcade Fire Austin City Limits performance on PBS last night Katelyn mentioned how much Will Butler reminded her of Tim Riggins. Not so much in that he was drunkenly banging his neighbor while rearing her bastard child, but more so that they have the same hairstyle and like to hit things with much vigor.

Thoughts?

A Message From We Need Girlfriends And Some Helpful Hints On How To Get WNG Onto TV:

TV for WNG

Hey everyone,

We've been waiting to announce the news about "We Need Girlfriends" potential TV future for a couple of months now, and we're so glad we finally got the okay to do so. So far the outpouring of support has been overwhelming. I can't even begin to tell you how much we appreciate it.

So far we're very early in the preproduction process. We've spent the past couple of weeks working on the script, but because of the writers strike, we've had to hold off. We don't have much news to report yet, but I guarantee you that WNG is in the hands of the right people. Not only are they brilliant producers that have made turned out some amazing project in the past, but they are just the nicest folks you can imagine. We thank our lucky stars every day that they found "We Need Girfriends." And, even better, they genuinely love and understand the webseries. We're in good hands with them. And we're in good hands with our managers and agents. We're lucky. We're very lucky. And we gratefully acknowledge this.

One question we've been getting a lot in emails is, "What can we do to help?" Which is unbelievable. And before we reply we'd like to say "Thank you for even asking that!"

And, well, if you'd like to help, here's our suggestion.

Make waves.

See we, like you, would love to see "We Need Girlfriends" on the CBS Fall Schedule next year. And to do that we have to make sure that everyone knows about it. Contact your favorite entertainment news website or magazine and tell them you'd like to see a story about "We Need Girlfriends." Heck, contact your least favorite and tell them the same. Write about it in your blogs or school papers or local papers or local magazines or local what have yous. Post it on your MySpace pages. Talk about it on message boards. And, heck, while you're at it, write to (or email) CBS and tell them how much you like the webseries and how you much you want to see it on TV next year.

The more this gets out there the more likely it gets all the way to series.

Again, we appreciate everything you've done for us. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. So thank you a million times over.

So you can start by going to cbs.com, scrolling all the way to the bottom and clicking the Feedback button.



Then check the appropriate boxes and write something witty, charming and not at all desperate. TV stations like sane people. But, if this doesn't work we're going to sell them case after case of live squirrels.

Yeah, No It's Not

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My site is worth $59,055,072.
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South Park And Guitar Hero Together At Last

I thought it was going to be awesome when South Park tackled the Mighty Ducks (albeit loosely), but this is going to be fucking awesome.

Guitar Queer-o

Stan and Kyle are hooked on Guitar Hero. But Stan's superior skills on the video game damage his friendship with Kyle.

Straddling The Line Of Hilarity and Inappropriateness

Congrats to Brian, Angel and Steve of 'We Need Girlfriends' Fame

Loyal blog readers (a.k.a. Mom), you may remember how I've been bringing you updates on everyone's favorite web series WNG since its inception. Well now, all of my good pals' hard work has paid off.

Check out this from The Hollywood Reporter:

"Sex and the City" creator Darren Star has teamed with CBS to develop a comedy based on the Web series "We Need Girlfriends."

The network has handed out a script commitment to the project, which would be written by Steven Tsapelas, Angel Acevedo and Brian Amyot, the masterminds behind the original series that has drawn as many as 700,000 views per episode on YouTube during its 11-episode run.

The online "Girlfriends" chronicles the adventures of Tom (Patrick Cohen), Henry (Seth Kirschner) and Rod (Evan Bass), recent college graduates struggling to understand the complex world of the New York dating scene after they are simultaneously dumped by their long-term college girlfriends.

Star will executive produce "Girlfriends" for CBS and Sony Pictures TV, with Dennis R. Erdman and Clark Peterson serving as co-exec producers.

Congrats dudes!

2007 Red Sox Playlist

Are you (gasp) sick of hearing the Dropkick Murphy's right about now (or always, for that matter)?

Thankfully, I've created the ultimate playlist for you, while you bask in the glory of the Red Sox 2007 World Series Championship. One song dedicated to every member of the Red Sox. Enjoy:

PITCHERS:

Jonathan Papelbon – “I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor” – Arctic Monkeys

Key Lyric: Well I bet that you look good on the dance floor/Dancing to electro-pop like a robot from 1984

Not since the updated Electric Slide hit the 1995 Bar Mitzvah circuit has a dance craze swept the nation like Papelbon’s jig. He may be clinically insane, but he’s amazing and we love him for it.

Tim Wakefield – “Float On” – Modest Mouse

Key Lyric: Don't you worry we'll all float on/All float on

With injury problems creeping up on the Senior Sox, it may be time for Tim to Float on into retirement and the Red Sox Hall Of Fame

Eric Gagne – “Everyday I Love You Less And Less” – Kaiser Chiefs

Key Lyric: And everyday I love you less and less /You're turning into something I detest/And everybody says that your a mess/Since everyday I love you less and less

I remember sitting in the Cask n’ Flagon for Eric Gagne’s debut. He looked amazing, save for a bloop hit. Flash forward a few weeks, and hearing the phrase ‘Now Pitching, Eric Gagne’, provokes a bloodcurdling scream. The record setting closer can now only be trusted with an 8+ run lead.

Daisuke Matsuzaka – “Oh My God” – Mark Ronson feat. Lilly Allen (though technically a Kaiser Chiefs song)

Key Lyric: Oh my God I can’t believe it/I’ve been this far away from home

Towards the end of the year it became apparent that Matsuzaka was not the same pitcher he was overseas, mainly because he wasn’t getting the same calls he was used to. As his reputation grows, so will his strike zone.

Jon Lester – “Two Headed Boy” – Neutral Milk Hotel

Key Lyric: Two-headed boy/There is no reason to grieve/The world that you need is wrapped in gold silver sleeves

You never know what you’re gonna get when Lester is on the mount. It’s either a dominating performance by a stud prospect or a grueling 4 inning, 7 walk outing.

Curt Schilling – “The Black Hawk War, or, How to Demolish an Entire Civilization and Still Feel Good About Yourself in the Morning, or, We Apologize for the Inconvenience but You're Going to Have to Leave Now, or, 'I Have Fought the Big Knives and Will Continue to Fight Them Until They Are Off Our Lands!'" – Sufjan Stevens

Key Lyrics: Ironically, this song is instrumental.

The most wordy song title on my iPod goes to the most verbose member of the Red Sox. Normally I like to take Schill to task, but when it was ‘Put Up or Shut Up’ time in the playoffs, he Put Up. Who knows where he’ll be next year, though.

Josh Beckett – "Rock The House" – Gorillaz

Key Lyric: Taking you to another landscape/Is my mandate

Without Josh Beckett's pitching there’s no way we’d be where we are this year. Case in point: 2006, when Beckett was not the dominant force he was today

Mike Timlin – "Time Is Running Out" – Muse

Key Lyric: Our time is running out

Another veteran pitcher probably heading towards retirement after a great career and great playoffs.

Manny Delcarmen – "Welcome Home" – Coheed & Cambria

Key Lyric: Hang on to the glory at my right hand.

Local kid getting to pitch for his hometown team in the World Series? Pretty cool.

Clay Buchholz – "Song For Clay" – Bloc Party

Key Lyric: I am trying to be heroic/In an age of modernity./I am trying to be heroic/because all around me history sings.

Why not?

Javier Lopez – "Who Cares?" – Gnarls Barkley

Key Lyric: Who cares?

I don’t.

Hideki Okajima – "Decent Days And Nights" – The Futureheads

Key Lyric: If you work it out tell me what you find

After giving up a Home Run to the first batter he ever faced, Okie became our second most reliable reliever this season, putting together an amazing season to everyone’s surprise.

OUTFIELDERS

Manny Ramirez – “Carry On My Wayward Son” – Kansas

Key Lyric: Carry on my wayward son/There’ll be peace when you are done.

Manny is so misunderstood by the media that when he broke his silence only to say something completely rational (It’s only a game), he was buried. He should just keep doing what he’s doing (Being a bad, bad man, man) for his remaining years and retire as one of the greatest Left Fielders of all time.

Coco Crisp – "Deadwood" – Dirty Pretty Things

Key Lyric: Don’t give me that face /I know when I should live in disgrace /Not dig up the deadwood/I knew this place was never the place for me

See ya, Coco. At least he boosted his trade value with that catch in Game 7 of the ALCS.

JD Drew – "Sometimes I Don’t Get You" – Yo La Tengo

Key Lyric: Sometimes I don't know you/It's like we never met

J.D. Drew’s swing is gorgeous, only too many times it’s end result is a ground out to 2nd base. Sometimes he’s amazing in the field, other times it’s like watching a deleted scene from Angels In The Outfield (pre Christopher Lloyd’s intervention, natch). I don’t know what to make of this dude.

Eric Hinske – "These Are The Fables" – The New Pornographers

Key Lyric: These are fables on my street

Remember when Eric Hinske was Rookie Of The Year? Me neither. He better stay the hell away from Pedroia and Ellsbury.

Jacoby Ellsbury – "Run Like An Antelope" – Phish

Key Lyric: Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul/You’ve got to run like an antelope/Out of control

I’ve never seen a member of the Red Sox take two bases on a Wild Pitch with such ease. Jacoby is going to be a breath of fresh air in Boston allowing the Sox to mix in a little small ball with their typical AL play.

Bobby Kielty - "Wake Up" - Arcade Fire

Key Lyric: With my lightning bolts a-glowing/I can see where I am going

Kielty woke up from his bench induced slumber (not including the snooze alarm that is C.C. Sabathia) to hit the World Series winning home run. Bobby "bleeping" Kielty. The finest redhead to don a Red Sox uniform in years

INFIELDERS:

Kevin Youkilis – "Israel’s Son" – Silverchair

Key Lyric: I am Israel’s son/Put your hands in the air

I couldn’t find any songs about horrid facial hair (ZZ Top songs don’t count) so I have to give props to a fellow chosen son. With Adam Stern and Gabe Kapler gone, it’s just me and you, buddy!

Julio Lugo – "Let’s Call It Off" – Peter Bjorn and John

Key Lyric: Did you agree/ we just let it be/And did you agree/ It's a must/Let's call the whole thing off.

Hopefully we’re dunzo with the Julio Lugo experience. I know I’m dunzo with saying dunzo, however.

Dustin Pedroia – "Emerge" – Fischerspooner

Key Lyric: Feels good/Looks good/Sounds good/Looks good

1. I find it hilarious that Dustin, nee Dusty, would listen to horrible techno music

2. I’m part of a 3 person campaign to rename Dustin as Dusty, join the fight

3. Despite the man’s serious Napoleon Complex, he has emerged as one of the team’s superstars.

Mike Lowell – "So Come Back, I Am Waiting" – Okkervil River

Key Lyric: So come back and we'll take them all on.

My gut feeling tells me Mike Lowell will not be back, but I’m hoping he’ll take a 2 year deal with the Sox, and play Gold Glove caliber defense on the way to a few more World Series titles.

Alex Cora - "Fancy Claps" - Wolf Parade
Key Lyric: We'll be home then/We can sing and/We'll be home then

Cora has been relegated to hanging out in the dugout and joining in in celebratory handshakes with happy teammates. Best. Job. Ever.

CATCHERS

Jason Varitek – "Ride Captain Ride" – Blues Image

Key Lyric: Ride captain ride/Upon your mystery ship/On your way to a world/That others might have missed.

He’s getting up there in age, his bat is slowing, but he’s still the brains of our operation.

Doug Mirabelli – "Wake Me Up When September Comes" – Green Day

Key Lyric: Wake me up when September comes

Keeping a pretty bad backup catcher on the roster solely to catch a knuckleballer doesn’t really make sense. Neither does this song selection.

DESIGNATED HITTER:

David Ortiz – "The Man Of Metropolis Steals Our Hearts "– Sufjan Stevens

Key Lyric: Man of Steel, Man of Heart /Turn your ear to my part /There are things you have said/Raise the boat, and raise the dead

Big Papi, our personal smiling Superman single-handedly got us to the promised land in 2004 and the momentum is still carrying in Red Sox Nation.

MANAGER:

Terry Francona – "Everything In It’s Right Place" – Radiohead

Key Lyric: Everything in it’s right place
Tito made all the right moves all year.

Zdeno Chara Is A Monstrous Man



After a season of not being allowed to fight by his former coach who couldn't bear to deal with the loss of his ice time, Zdeno Chara was finally allowed to beat the everloving shit out of someone whilst wearing a Bruins uniform.

Chara's victim: the 6'6" David Koci. Nomally a large man, but when you're the tallest player in an entire league, everyone's your bitch.



And, in the words of Smokey from 'Friday' via the USA Networks edit: "Maaan. You got knocked the flu out"




Video of the fight: Can be found here.

The Challenge Has Come And Gone OR: While My Video Game Guitar Gently Weeps

So last week the Guitar Hero Rock Band challenge came to fruition. I lost to Bang Camaro's Brynn Bennett 95%-91% despite the fact that Brynn was the basis for one of the fucking characters.

It was a lot of fun and I hope to one day be able to afford this game in my own home.

Here's the link to the actual page of video challenges.

http://www.myfoxboston.com/myfox/pages/ContentDetail?contentId=4736602

World Series!

Check out the pic the studio webcam caught of me during Youk's home run

Radiohead 'In Rainbows'

As uncritically as I can possibly be, this album is blowing my fucking mind off.

That is all.

Little Miss Mota

Greetings Deadspinners.

Here's more Mota fun. I have not been able to find any clips of, what Wikipedia calls Mota's catchphrase: "Mota excessively uses the phrase, "Raht neow!" to connote great enthusiasm and passion in his play-by-play and in-game analysis."

I have no idea what this would sound like, but I bet it's adorable. Until then, there's this:

Farewell Jose Mota

Red Sox fans are expressing nothing but joy as the Sox managed to forget their post-All Star break swoon and dominate the hapless Danza-less Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. I, however, feel a twinge of sadness knowing the ALDS MVP will no longer be with us.

Fear not, Manny will remain in left, Papi will still man the DH spot and Beckett is still our ace, but the true MVP will most likely stay put in Anaheim (or is it Los Angeles?!). It is our time to bid adieu to the man with the impeccable mustache, the perfectly symmetrical head, the hypnotizing brown eyes and the accent of questionable origin.

Farewell Jose Mota.





Over the past three games, TBS has brought Jose Mota into the hearts of many and we'll be sad to see him go. I'm still not really sure that I've ever listened to any of his 'sideline' reports. What I do know is that I drunkenly exclaimed in front of my friends that I thought Mota was "Adorable, in a stuffed animal kind of way." A statement that was not only generally accepted, but eclipsed moments later by my girlfriend who stated that she wanted to "adopt him." Once again, no resistance.

The man is a God. Fuck, he even got Manny Ramirez to agree to a post game interview. Is no one immune to Jose Mota's charm? I feel confident that if we only were able to send Jose into hostage negotiations, UN Security Council Meetings and Britney's next court appearance, the world would be a better place.

So, while I'm preparing to learn how to raise a 42 year old Spanish language announcer, check out this fabulous homage to Jose Mota. Brought to you by my nameless music message board compatriot, Soda.

The Ultimate Tribute To Jose Mota.

It's My Civic Duty To Try And Get Out Of My Civic Duty

I have jury duty tomorrow. Grand Jury jury duty (Grand Jury Duty?).

Negatives: Uh, it's Jury Duty. I have no idea where the court is or where to park. There's the possibility I could be chosen to sit at random for a period of several months. Fuck.

Positives: I don't have to work during Monday Night Football. The inevitable Grand Jury Duty Live Blog that gets me tossed from the case.

Stay tuned.

Holy Shit. I Think I Forgot I Had A Blog

Seriously. What the fuck. No one even yells at me for being lazy anymore. C'mon people.

I was reminded I had a blog because Steve of 'We Need Girlfriends' fame commented on a post. That caused me to look at my post list and, man, I'm an ass. It's not like there's been a lack of interesting shit going on.

First, the last (ever?) episode of We Need Girlfriends came out two weeks ago. Watch it here.

Next, I went to ACL Fest two weeks ago, with a press pass, got VIP treatment all weekend, and interviewed a slew of cool people. How the fuck have I not blogged about this? Well, technically I DID blog about it on the FOX site. But it would be better "If I Did It" (copyright OJ) on this blog because I can swear on it.

So, read those blogs here and just intersperse the words "fuck" and "shit" where you feel it belongs.

Third, Bang Camaro challenge is ON in 2 weeks. Plus, they changed the challenge on me! I may be playing Bang Camaro on their own song on a brand new, incredibly hyped video game that hasn't even come out yet. Wink. Wink.

So, thank you Steven Tsapelas. You've done a great service to my blog.

Novelty T-shirt Of The Week.

In the wake of last week's heart shattering realization that I own the same clothes as Zac Efron (even more heart shattering, knowing who Zac Efron is) I've decided to confess one thing. I love cheeky novelty t shirts.

A lot look like shit, but there's a wide variety of good ones you can find.

I pledge to bring my personal favorites to this space every week. I'm sure it'll be a huge honor, especially when I forget about my pledge in 3 weeks.

This week's edition comes from the fine folks at Vintage Vantage who's softness of shirt I can attest to. If they'd like to send me this one for free, I'd be happy to wear it. XL please. your shirts are small.



I'll also take reader submissions for highlarious tshirts spotted on the streets or around the intrawabs.

Anyway, I'm going to Austin City Limits Music Festival and that's always a haven of hilarity. My friend Davis even found his twin:

I Need To Start Reevaluating My Life When....

David Beckham And His Traveling Roadshow Invade Foxboro. In A Related Story, The Revolution Beat The Galaxy

The chant echoing throughout the concourse of Gillette Stadium before kick off summed it all up. Sung to the tune of, 'If You're Happy And You Know It', it went something like this:

"If you came to see just Beckham, sucks for you *clap* *clap*"

Judging by the massive amounts of boos that cascaded down from the Gillette crowd when Beckham's benched mug popped up on the Jumbotron in the 87th minute, tonight might've sucked for a lot of people. But not for me, and definitely not for the MLS.

Anyone that doubted Becks' ridiculous contract is wrong. I did, myself, but it was impossible to gauge the marketing effects without seeing it first hand. I've been to a ton of Revolution games throughout the years. I'd say about a third of the crowd wears jerseys or soccer paraphernalia to games. The majority being club/international/youth/random jerseys with Revolution attire coming in a distant second. Tonight was like stepping into a different country. I'd say more than 3/4 of the crowd was wearing something soccer related. A staggering amount of people wore Beckham garb, be it Galaxy/England/Real/ManU jerseys or t shirts, and an impressive amount of people had Revs stuff on. It was pretty jarring.

Then, there's the crowd itself. "The Beckham Game" as it was being dubbed was a sellout, with a little help from Beckham, and Bob Kraft, who could be the shrewdest guy around based on what he pulled.

First, you couldn't buy a single ticket to tonight's game. Each ticket bought must be contained within a 4 game multi-pack.

Second, he limited capacity to the Lower Bowl and Club Level seats, making 32,000 available and eliminating the need to open up Upper Level concessions, bathrooms, security detail, etc.

So, Kraft managed to, roughly, cut in half his audience (Gillette holds about 68k) but quadruple the dollar value of every ticket sold. If he didn't wear mismatched collared dress shirts, I might think he's a genius.

---

Despite Beckham's absence the game was great and the crowd was on the precipice of being really good. The mainstays of Revolution games sit in a section called The Fort, in the end zone section right next to the lighthouse. These are the kinds of people who bring drums to games, create chants, wear masks and openly admit to liking The Dropkick Murphys. I always sit in their section at games, and I was hoping they'd sort of set the bar and get the rest of the stadium rocking. Instead, they seemed to resent the fact that more than 12,000 people showed up to the game.

When 'The Wave' made its way around the stadium (yeah, I know, The Wave at a soccer game, but it's still America) the stalwarts of The Fort acted like Brooklynites who just found out Arcade Fire was on TRL and flipped off the entire stadium. Way to build that fan base.

Overall, I think the Beckham project will be a success. I think he can even compete in the MLS despite his age and declining skills. Let us not forget this is the same league that Youri Djorkaeff dominated the past two years and I'm pretty sure he went to school with Maxamillian Robespierre.

Plus, him not playing in all of these cities, just boosted the intrigue for the next time he's in town. It's a vicious cycle.

I Bet You Thought I'd Call This Post 'Blog It Like Beckham'

Becks is in town to play the Revs (abbreviating is awesome!) and I'm headed there with some people. It should be a fun time, as I haven't been to a Revs game in more than a season. The place will be packed, they sold 32,000 seats and could've sold way more if they hadn't capped capacity at whatever the Lower Bowl holds.

Beckham might not even play which would be a shame (though could make the crowd even rowdier, and we're already sitting in The Fort, so it will be nutty).

More importantly on the Beckham related front: Beckham was dining at the Cheesecake Factory at the SouthShore Fucking Plaza in Braintree last night?!

What the fuck?

I've worked there for several years and have been going there forever an the occasional celebrity sighting is not rare at all (lots of Pats players live in nearby Marina Bay, etc). Hell I've even seen 3/4 of the members of New Kids On The Block at separate times at the SSP (thought it is debatable whether or not Danny Wood was working or shopping at Abercrombie). But, there's something bizarre about a $250m man shopping where you once tried (and failed, btw) to get numbers as a 15 year old on weekends.

Weird.

Links of Awesomeness!

Because I'm lazy, here's a link dump. My first one ever.


- First Stupid Questions Post: I need your help with this, so check it out and contribute.

- The Penultimate (second to last) Episode Of We Need Girlfriends this season, and possible ever!, is up and fucking fantastic.

- My second favorite web series. A must for Arrested Development fans.

-

The Simpsons Movie

Got an advanced screening pass to see The Simpsons Movie tonight, thanks to good ole' Uncle Rupert. Turns out WBCN gave out hundreds of passes to the same screening making it a clusterfuck of epic proportions.

Thankfully myself, and three of the biggest Simpson fans I know (Ryan, Chaves and Tino) headed into Fenway Theatres early enough to snag good seats. In fact, finding any seats, good or not, was lucky. Apparently there were a few hundred people who didn't get in. Oh well.

The movie kicks off with a bang but, expectedly gets a little slow towards the end. Some great in-jokes (the ticker, to be continued) and an amazing cameo (Tom Hanks) really keep it going. Seeing how the show is only good for one or two laughs per episode these days, the fact that they made a damn good feature length movie is impressive.

That's my spolier-less review. I give it a 7.5/10. Don't forget to stay through the credits.

The News Keeps On Rollin...

My publicist Josh (that's a complete lie, by the way, I have never really done anything worth publicizing, not including my turn as Aesop in Ms. Gaudette's 3rd grade production of Aesop's Fables) has been working the phones, manning the intrawebs ,tapping out the Morse codes all the way in England, trying to make this Bang Camaro challenge happen. And oh does he have some good news for us!

According to Bang Camaro's publicist (their actual publicist), the band will be back in our studios sometime in October for the challenge. This follows a photo shoot for Rolling Stone and a bunch of other shows. Holy shit.

Bring it on, motherfuckers!

New Project: Revealed

That new project I've been slaving over starting a new gmail and blogger account for is complete.

I present you with

There Is Such Thing As A Stupid Question

Enjoy, and please, for the love of god, help me out.

I haven't been around much as I've been getting to some super secret business, but expect some new goodness soon. How about a review of The Simpsons: Movie tomorrow? I've corralled some sneak peek passes, check out the tickets!

Harry Potter V

For all the reasons I disliked the book Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix, I loved the movie.

It's easily the best movie of the series (in contention with Azkaban). Goblet Of Fire was OK, but the watered down plot was such copout bullshit it's not even funny.

I can't believe I'm blogging about Harry Potter and not my challenge with Bang Camaro/My super secret nwe project I'm working on/the strong possibility I may get a press pass for Austin City Limits Music Festival.

What a dork.

This 4 Minute Video Is Better Than The Entirety Of 'Transformers'

Mike came back from Wisconsin today and showed me this video. It's the greatest YouTube clip of all time (with apologies to We Need Girlfriends). Eject, Operation Beth Shut The Fuck Up!

Danny Ainge's Fascination With Robert Swift And His Shiny Red Hair Makes Much More Sense Now

Trying To Review 'Transformers'

I saw Transformers today with Katelyn and Steve. It was a big day, not just because my second favorite childhood toy (C'mon Teddy Ruxpin feature length!) became iconized on the big screen, but also, it was my first time at the AMC Premium Theatre and Grill.

For those out of the loop, this is the luxury theatre in Framingham that comes with leather seats, a fully catered menu, a stocked bar, and free popcorn and soda. Also, it's 21+ so there are no screaming kids or annoying tweens throwing shit and laughing at trailers for 'Delta Farce'. Basically it's heaven on Earth.

I guess that would quantify my review for the theatre. Pretty damn amazing, though, there were some projector problems that made for a barely noticeable light effect on the screen which ultimately resulted in the three of us getting free passes for next time.

The movie, well I don't really know where to start. Transformers were, like, THE toy I collected growing up. I love them. All this despite recent candid comments from my Mom who told me that I was too retarded to 'transform' them by myself and she had to help me. Whatever.

I can't tell if this movie was funny, or unintentionally funny. There were all these creepily weird parts. The WEIRDEST being the end when Shia Lebouf starts making out with brunette protagonist chick (I have no idea what her, or anyone aside from Lebouf's character names were) on top of BumbleBee. If the thought of this chick getting Lebouf'D on top of a car that comes to life and is a living, breathing, friend of theirs isn't weird enough, the camera pans off to show the rest of the Autobots watching them! All the while, Optimus Prime is delivering a monologue about how the Autobots will stay on Earth, protecting and 'watching you, even though you may not know it'. WHAT THE FUCK. Autobots are fucking pervs.

There are other weird parts, like the fact that they let a foreigner be an integral part of the U.S. Dept. of Defense (who Katelyn says wears a very unrealistic outfit), everything about John Turturro, and Shia 'Sam Witwicky' Lebouf being angered over brunette protagonist chick not telling him she had a juvenile record, despite them knowing eachother for a total of 2 days.

What a weird movie:

jEfFENIXtx6: i think michael bay movies are getting worse
jEfFENIXtx6: im not surprised
jEfFENIXtx6: but, they just are
jEfFENIXtx6: it's like noticing a heroin addict getting skinnier or something
Ryan: but are they getting louder--that's the better question
jEfFENIXtx6: not noticeably :(

Ryan: you know he started out with playboy videos?
jEfFENIXtx6: really? not surprising
Ryan : http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0471307/
Ryan: can't make that stuff up
jEfFENIXtx6: frankly, it explains alot
Ryan: indeed
jEfFENIXtx6: im seeing miss October '89 walking out of a fighter jet as a camera slow pans around the hatch
jEfFENIXtx6: THEN BLAM!
jEfFENIXtx6: Bruce Willis gives his life for her career

Exciting News On The Bang Camaro Front

Newer blog readers may be confused about what this proposed 'Bang Camaro' deal is all about. Here's the long and the short of it. Actually, it's just the short of it.

A month ago, I challenged Bang Camaro to come back on the FOX25 Morning News to play me in their own song on Guitar Hero 2. They accepted (the video's a few posts down somewhere). To my knowledge, and to anyone's knowledge really, this has never been done before (honestly, I think I'd remember if David Bowie played Ziggy Stardust on a fucking plastic Gibson SG with color coded buttons).

Anyway, I was getting kinda down on the whole thing because the band didn't seem to into it. Their publicist was, and some Boston area newspapers are just waiting for the whole thing to come to fruition, but I couldn't get the band to extrapolate on the thing (aka talk shit to me via the blog). It sort of soured my training, too.

You see, I'm fucking terrible at Push Push (Lady Lightning) on 'Hard'. It's REALLY hard. But I haven't been doing any training because I thought BC wasn't into the thing. Then I got encouraging news.

Bang Camaro was playing a show in Chicago tonight (7/1) and I had some spies attending. The following correspondence was from a buddy of mine at my favorite music dork message board on the intrawebs (that will remain nameless):

good news for you, Jeff!
your Guitar Hero challenge is still on
just got back from Bang Camaro
what a fun show, really enjoyed it
i spoke w/ McClain briefly afterwards
told him i had a question for him, from (you) at FoxNews in Boston
"is 'the Challenge' still on??"
he knew right away what i meant by that, smiled kinda sheepishly and said yes, it's still on
but they've been really busy
he said they're all really bad at that game but he's still looking forward to it

Fucking awesome! Training is back on, fully. I'm sure my girlfriend is enthused at the idea.

Meantime, thanks to everyone for digging through the archives following heads up from team We Need Girlfriends. I got an IM from my former resident Zoe who says, "everyone knows my blog". This is fucking astonishing considering I've neglected it more than wrote in it. Still knowing people read it is as good motivation as any. Well, not as good as knowing that I'm going to dominate Bang Camaro's collective faces off.

I feel like we should make a wager. I win, I'm in the band. They win, they get to work at Fox ........ well I don't have any suggestions. Maybe YOU do.

Leave some comments. Please. I'm lonely.

We Need Girlfriends: Episode 9 - The Morning After.

Enjoy, kiddos

We Now Welcome You Back to the Gripping Finale of the 'We Need Girlfriends' Interview Series

As you've probably guessed, today's finale is with no other than Brian Amyot, a man who wears so many (figurative) hats with We Need Girlfriends, that it's amazing his hair stays so great. Brian was one of the first friends I met in college, so it's either symbolic, or coincidental that he's the last person I interview. I haven't decided yet.

Because I Should Have Picked A Shorter Name For This Blog Didn't Want to Go To Grad School Interviews:

Brian Amyot!

Note: The font size is being screwy. Thanks, Blogger

Fun Facts: Like I said, Brian was one of my first friends, we met working at Hofstra's Athletic Communication's office, doing stats and press for all the sports games. Brian, too, lived in the attic of a Sorority house. Brian's directorial debut is called "The Next Day". I own it on VHS and will eBay it to the highest bidder. I've never been in a car driven by Brian. "Blazin' Movie Night" is one of the best collegiate programs ever organized by a human being and Brian was a big part of it. We had a semi-homicidal co-worker. Brian lived in the same exact dorm room for all 4 years of college. The man makes the most delicious party punch of all time. He's like Rachel Ray only if Rachel Ray were tall, blonde, a dude, not annoying, and the only ingredient she used was Devil's Spring 160 Proof Vodka.

The Interview!

Jeff: What's your typical role in an episode from beginning to end?

Brian: I am basically on the phone the whole time. I am the liaison to the cast. I always find out when the cast is available to shoot and work closely with Angel on scheduling the best date. I keep the cast up to date on what is going on, what our plans are, and try to deal with any concerns they have. I am also heavily involved in the auditioning/casting of any new actors. I also have the job of finding and securing the locations for every episode. Much of the show takes place in the guy's apartment, which is my apartment. But we make a conscious effort to get them out and at new locations in every episode. We like to put them "on location" to give the show a much more "real" feel. This usually involves calls, but also involves a lot of foot work. If we are looking for a restaurant, bar, or supermarket, I'll walk around town knocking on doors pitching the shoot to people until I can talk someone into letting us shoot at their establishment, apartment, etc. Then I have to convince them to let us do it for free.

I have, so far, directed 6 episodes. On the episodes I direct my duties extend to the typical directorial tasks. Working with the actors on set, determining the shots with the cinematographer, etc. Whoever is directing will be the person in charge of making the main creative decisions.

How our post-production typically works is one of the three of us will take the lead on editing the episode and due the majority of the cutting. After we have a rough cut, everyone will join in with there opinions and suggestions and we will work it down to a fine cut. When we are satisfied, I will do the sound mix. The three of us will then get together after the mix and take our "last looks" and decide if there are any changes to be made at the last minute.

Jeff: What's the biggest fire you've put out in a WNG production?

Brian: I guess I don't really have one good specific story, but honestly, every episode is kind of a fire to put out. We have a set deadline, the 1 st of the month, we have to have a new episode ready. We don't get paid, we all work full time jobs, and no actors, crew, or locations get paid. So just to put it all together and be ready each month for a new episode, coordinating schedules, getting locations, finding time to edit, it's like a fire every month.

Jeff: Webisodes are all the rage. Would you like to work more in this medium. What about TV or Film?

Brian: I have always loved feature films, and I wanted to work in that realm exclusively. However, the industry is changing and my opinions have changed with it. I think webseries are great. They are very good method to tell a story and have the ability for millions of people to easily access it. And you get to tell a story in small parts, making it easy for people to download and watch anywhere at anytime. Even a few years ago, this concept was not something that was even on my radar, but now someone can walk around with a whole season of my show on an iPod in their pocket. That is a very exciting possibility. Since doing a webseries, I have definitely become more interested in working in episodic television, it has been an enjoyable experience and would love the chance to expand upon it.

Jeff: Say I get fired from my job for "accidentally" writing "Go fuck yourself, Boston" in a script. What are the odds of me getting cast in WNG?

Brian: I'd say not bad. More than anything else, we look for characters, and you sir, are certainly a character. Plus, one of our strengths is writing for who we know.

Jeff: You guys might move to LA. Who would be who if you were in Entourage?

Brian: I think there is no question about it, I would be Eric. He's the glue that holds it all together, and he's smart, street smart and people smart. He is a bit of a pushover though; I wouldn't be such a pushover. Dare to dream…

Jeff: Angel and Steve sometimes mix like oil and water. How do you keep them in check?

Brian: I definitely have to play the moderator or mediator. They will kill me for saying this, but they are like an old married couple. They fight and argue all the time, but its usually out of love. They have almost completely different opinions on everything, but they both know how to make our show good, so its just about getting through the battle and finding what makes the show the best. One thing about me is, it takes a lot to get me truly mad, and it takes even more to make me yell. Steve and Angel are both pretty volatile, they are both probably somewhere right now yelling at each other. I'm very calm, and work hard being able to calm them both down, because in the end we all the want the same thing. Plus, because I know them so well, I find them very funny. I like to laugh, and I can just laugh about it, my life is like watching an episode of the show.

Jeff: Have you had any crazy fan interactions yet?

Brian: I hear that the actors get recognized on the street quite often, it has sort of happened to me once. However, running the MySpace pages gets pretty crazy. I run the Tom page, as well as, help keep the WNG main page up to date. What I find very funny is there are people who think the characters are real, and ask them for dating advice, but if you've seen the show, clearly the guys are not the experts. I love the fans!

Jeff: Do you have a dream guest star?

Brian: There really are so many. I'd love to have Jason Bateman on as Tom or Henry's fun Uncle. I'd also love to have Jeff Bridges as Tom's father. The list of blondes that I would like to have on the show as love interests for the guys is too long to type.

Jeff: Where do you see the guys in 10 years

Brian: Strangely enough, I see Rod as being married. I know what you might be thinking, "wouldn't he be the last get married?" He plays like he'll be the perennial bachelor, but I think he's gonna get himself in a situation where he has to marry a girl or she'll stop having sex with him, he'll choose marriage thinking its "till death" and he'll outlive everyone anyways.

Parting Words

So friends, I hope you've enjoyed your foray into the world of my blog and, more importantly, the world of We Need Girlfriends. Team Ragtag has been so generous to me. Short story, they got me a Super Troopers poster signed by every member of Broken Lizard even though I wasn't able to attend this signing. This was the first (and debatably only) thing my girlfriend liked about me. So, I'm forever indebted to Brian, Angel and Steve (or at least until Katelyn dumps me).

WNG is definitely going places and we should all be stoked that we are in on the ground floor and can watch this thing grow. We'll be like the people who saw U2 at their first US show at the Paradise in Boston, only not pretentious douchebags.

We Need Girlfriends: Episode 9, premieres on July 1st at 12:01AM EST. You can watch it on their website, MySpace, YouTube, iTunes. Fuck, they show this thing everywhere. Remember to be at the side of some random warehouse in Astoria at 12:01 where they'll project the latest episode of WNG. All jokes aside, watch it, laugh, come back here to talk about it and thanks for reading!

The We Need Girlfriends Interview Series Part 2!

You may remember yesterday I brought you an exclusive interview with We Need Girlfriends writer Steve Tsapelas. Well, tonight, I have an equally amazing interview with none other than WNG Editor, Cinematographer, mortal enemy to Steve and inspiration behind Rod:

Angel Acevedo!

Fun Facts: Angel is definitely the partier of the three. I'd say in roughly 58% of the drunken photos of me in college, Angel is next to me. The other 42% were taken by Angel. The most Delta thing Angel ever did involved a party in a Hofstra Tower and a select few Polaroid photographs. Angel lived in a Sorority house. Power Hour snack of choice: Wavy Lays. Angel somehow found the weird song playing in Super Troopers when the German couple is pulled over on Limewire. I played it way too often. The man's love for Michael Bay has in no way ever been exagerrated.

The Interview!

Jeff: You've done a bunch with WNG. What behind the scenes job do you enjoy the most?
Editors Note: Since Angel is Big Budget all the way, he answered this twice

Angel: 1) Throughout this season I've been the lead director of photography (DP) and editor. I guess my favorite has been DP'ing. Being on set is a rush, it's constant moving around, being creative, working with actors, experimenting, it's a lot of fun. I love looking through the lens and setting up shots. But I also love the flip side of editing. With editing it's just you, working alone in a room, it's all quiet and peaceful, there's no rush. I really enjoy that too. So fuck, I love 'em both.

2)My favorite behind the scenes job is eating lunch. I LOVE it. Every day it's different. Sometime we get Chinese, sometimes it's pizza (Dominos or Papa John's), other times it can be Subway. And since most of our budget goes to lunch, we go all out. If we get pizza, then we'll load up on 3 large pizzas, PLUS the extra goodies like buffalo wings, kickers, breadsticks, cheesesticks (my fav!), and a couple of times, sweet treats. Seriously, it's my favorite job to lunch.


Jeff: Loyal readers of my blog (read: my Mom) know that I have challenged the band Bang Camaro to their own song in Guitar Hero 2. I'd like to take the oppotunity to challenge both you and Rod (Evan Bass) to a GoldenEye battle. Proximity Mines, the Complex, 10 deaths. You game?


Angel: I hope you have your casket picked out because YOU ARE DEAD. Team Rod will dominate your ass.

Jeff: You guys might move to LA. Who would be who if you were in Entourage?

Angel: Brian and Steve say I would be Johnny "Drama" and I think I agree with them for once. I love Johnny "Drama." I like how passionate he is about things, like his cooking, his hating of Malibu, and having things big budget. He's definitely in his own world at times, and I can say that I am too.

Jeff: Have you had any cool fan interactions?


Angel: Not really. Well, we were spotted on the streets once while we were filming episode 10. A lady across the street yelled to us "I love you guys! You're the We Need Girlfriend guys right?" So that was cool. What I like most though is hearing about the actors getting spotted and their reactions. That's fun. I like to stay behind the scenes. Smooth.

Jeff: What's been the toughest part of making WNG?

Angel: I can write a 20 page dissertation here, but I'll keep it brief. I think the number one thing for me has been the mess. After a weekend shoot our apartment becomes a fuckin' dump. Pizza boxes, leftover food, equipment, drinks, everything. Our room is ripped apart. Our apartment is small, so when cram in three actors, a crew of 5 - 6 plus lights, equipment, shit gets messy. It's not fun. Also semi-related is my room. It's a constant diaster. I have 2 desks, with 3 computers, with 4 monitors. One of the computers is our Avid editing system, so since I have the biggest room, we have it in there, as well as all of our equipment. We need an office!

Jeff: Where do you see Tom, Rod and Henry in 10 years?

Angel: In 10 years the guys will be in their early 30's and probably settling down with some fine ladies. Tom will probably be married first, followed by Henry, and Rod will have a girlfriend and be rich after co-writing a book about "squirrel scamming" with Dennis and selling the film rights to National Lampoon's with Shia Lebouf set to star.

Jeff: I know you love action movies. Everyone knows this. What is the craziest action scenario you can dream up for the boys of We Need Girlfriends?

Angel: The craziest action scenario would involve Rod being the lead action junkie of course. There would be a damsel in distress, but he would also need to save Tom and Henry. There would be lots of slo-motion and high octane stunts. I already see a scene with a silohoutted Rod walking slowly through a billow smoke (a la Kevin Costner in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves). Maybe even a rooftop battle against some Brooklynites. It would be badass and I would want Michael Bay to direct it.

By Process Of Elimination

For all of you slower (read: Canadian [just kidding, Canada, I love you]) We Need Girlfriends fans, tomorrow's interview finale will be with none other than Brian Amyot. Fear not, friends, for last is not least. Stay tuned for an answer to 2 of the following three questions:

1. What really goes on with the characters' MySpace pages?


2. How do you difuse Steve and Angel?


3. What is Tom's exit strategy in Iraq?

STAY TUNED

The Official 'We Need Girlfriends' Interview Series!

I've been on Team We Need Girlfriends since day 1. In fact, here's the proof. Back in November, no one could've predicted the magnitude of WNG's success, but I was banking on the boys from Ragtag. Why? I knew that they always rock it. How do I know? Well, it just so happens that Team Ragtag, otherwise known as Angel Acevedo, Brian Amyot and Steve Tsapelas, happen to be three of my best friends from college.

Some of my fondest memories (or hazy flashbacks) of academia involve these three guys. First time I saw Super Troopers? In Brian and Angel's room on a VHS promotional copy that Steve bought. My greatest movie sneak-in of all time? Not Another Teen Movie->Ocean's 11->Vanilla Sky at the United Artists in Westbury with Team Ragtag. The countless Diner runs, the killer parties and, my favorite collegiate story ever, the aforementioned (aforlinked? Think about it, Oxford English Dictionary) Halloween Blackout of '02 all involve these dudes.

Naturally, I know a lot of things about Brian, Angel and Steve. I know that Steve hates Michael Ian Black, Brian was once flipped off by Kirsten Dunst and Angel partly fulfilled a lifelong dream by working as a counselor at a summer camp (I say partially because there were no slashers abound). Why does this matter? Well, there are now thousands of We Need Girlfriend fans who don't know stupid shit like that. Here's your opportunity to find out.

Without further limited amounts of adieu, I present to you, the We Need Girlfriends Interview Series!

For the next three days I'll be posting an exclusive interview with a We Need Girlfriends mastermind, leading up to the premiere of Episode 9 on the 1st, so remember to check back here!

First up:
WNG Writer Steve Tsapelas!

Fun Facts: Steve was always the writer and is always writing. We bonded over our love for Weezer. Steve and I co-wrote the greatest 30 second long movie in the history of time. It's called "Wuss Fight Club" and is about exactly what it sounds like. Every time I talk to Steve we think of a new script idea, among them "Israel's 11" and "Quantum Drunk". They both exist in my dreams. I never wrote Steve up when I was an RA in his building. That could be related to the fact that he introduced me to 'Scott Tenorman Must Die'. The man has great Away Messages.

The Interview!

Jeff: OK, so it's no secret that Tom, Rod and Henry are loosely based on You, Brian and Angel. What percentage of WNG happenings would you say actually occurred to you three?

Steve: Much of what happens on the show is based on our real lives, in some form or another. To cite specific incidents – I went to a blue party. I spent a weekend watching a “Three’s Company” marathon and lost all touch with reality. I received a letter from my 8th grade self in the mail, which asked me about The X-Files and Star Trek: Voyager. We overuse the term “squirrel.”
We have very intense, competitive game nights and so on and so forth. Of course, things are dramatized and changed. But I’d say the most realistic aspect, for me, is the dynamic between the characters and the way they interact with each other. I lift a lot of bits of dialogue from real life. For instance, Angel once said, “I’m the bomb at Jenga.”

Jeff: Take us through your writing process.

Steve: By now, each character kind of has their own storyline, so it’s a matter of naturally progressing their storylines. Sometimes, as in the episode “Game Night,” we said, “We should do an episode where they have a game night” and I worked that into the Rod/Tom Squirrel War. So, after the initial idea I’ll write an incredibly rough draft, then send it off to Brian and Angel. They’ll send me back their comments, and I’ll work through the draft again.
This happens many, many times. I’ll write about 3 or 4 drafts, then send it off to the actors for their opinions. Evan Bass is great because he has somehow inhabited the character of Rod for the past year and after he reads a draft he’ll ask me things like, “Do you think Rod would say this?” All of the feedback is incredibly helpful in determining what works and what doesn’t work. And even on set sometimes, we’ll play with a scene and rework some of the dialogue to make it sound more natural.

Jeff: Writer to (News)writer, I'm looking for a better way to write "Fire officials are still investigating the cause of the blaze"? I'm really sick of writing that. Any ideas?

Steve: “Hasselhoff starts fire.”

Jeff: Tom, Rod and Henry obviously met in college. Are we going to see some of their college days, flashback style? Additionally, how much do I have to pay to get myself personified in WNG?


Steve: Gosh, I would love nothing more than to show a college flashback. That was one of the earliest ideas we discussed. I’m also kind of toying with the idea of having an episode where Tom helps his sister move into college, which gives Rod and Henry the idea that they should crash a college party. And believe me, Hef Israel needs to make an appearance.


Jeff: Where do you see the guys in the 10 years?

Steve: I’m still kind of working towards that. The characters are obviously reflections of ourselves, so as we grow, I think the characters will grow. We did, however, set up that in three years Rod has made something of himself. I hope we can make it that long.


Jeff: We know from your L.A. blogs that the L.A. trip was successful. If a Hollywood move is imminent, who plays who in Entourage amongst You, Brian and Angel?

Steve: Apparently, I’m Turtle by default. This is according to Brian. You see Angel, with his inflated sense of self-worth and problems distinguishing fantasy from reality is Johnny Drama. Brian, with his level-headed-ness, is Eric. And me, with my short, stocky stature and constant give and take with Angel am Turtle. I guess that makes one of our actors Vincent Chase.

Jeff: In your wildest dreams, who would you like to write for?

Steve: My two favorite shows right now are “The Office” and “30 Rock.” Getting a chance to work on either of those would be beyond great. And, of course like any kid who grows up a comedy fan, writing for “Saturday Night Live” or “The Simpsons” would be something else. Ultimately though, I’d love to get “We Need Girlfriends” on television.

Jeff: What will we NOT be seeing in an episode of WNG?

Steve: You will NOT see the characters succeed without great amounts of incredible failure first.

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