Monday, October 29, 2007

2007 Red Sox Playlist

Are you (gasp) sick of hearing the Dropkick Murphy's right about now (or always, for that matter)?

Thankfully, I've created the ultimate playlist for you, while you bask in the glory of the Red Sox 2007 World Series Championship. One song dedicated to every member of the Red Sox. Enjoy:


Jonathan Papelbon – “I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor” – Arctic Monkeys

Key Lyric: Well I bet that you look good on the dance floor/Dancing to electro-pop like a robot from 1984

Not since the updated Electric Slide hit the 1995 Bar Mitzvah circuit has a dance craze swept the nation like Papelbon’s jig. He may be clinically insane, but he’s amazing and we love him for it.

Tim Wakefield – “Float On” – Modest Mouse

Key Lyric: Don't you worry we'll all float on/All float on

With injury problems creeping up on the Senior Sox, it may be time for Tim to Float on into retirement and the Red Sox Hall Of Fame

Eric Gagne – “Everyday I Love You Less And Less” – Kaiser Chiefs

Key Lyric: And everyday I love you less and less /You're turning into something I detest/And everybody says that your a mess/Since everyday I love you less and less

I remember sitting in the Cask n’ Flagon for Eric Gagne’s debut. He looked amazing, save for a bloop hit. Flash forward a few weeks, and hearing the phrase ‘Now Pitching, Eric Gagne’, provokes a bloodcurdling scream. The record setting closer can now only be trusted with an 8+ run lead.

Daisuke Matsuzaka – “Oh My God” – Mark Ronson feat. Lilly Allen (though technically a Kaiser Chiefs song)

Key Lyric: Oh my God I can’t believe it/I’ve been this far away from home

Towards the end of the year it became apparent that Matsuzaka was not the same pitcher he was overseas, mainly because he wasn’t getting the same calls he was used to. As his reputation grows, so will his strike zone.

Jon Lester – “Two Headed Boy” – Neutral Milk Hotel

Key Lyric: Two-headed boy/There is no reason to grieve/The world that you need is wrapped in gold silver sleeves

You never know what you’re gonna get when Lester is on the mount. It’s either a dominating performance by a stud prospect or a grueling 4 inning, 7 walk outing.

Curt Schilling – “The Black Hawk War, or, How to Demolish an Entire Civilization and Still Feel Good About Yourself in the Morning, or, We Apologize for the Inconvenience but You're Going to Have to Leave Now, or, 'I Have Fought the Big Knives and Will Continue to Fight Them Until They Are Off Our Lands!'" – Sufjan Stevens

Key Lyrics: Ironically, this song is instrumental.

The most wordy song title on my iPod goes to the most verbose member of the Red Sox. Normally I like to take Schill to task, but when it was ‘Put Up or Shut Up’ time in the playoffs, he Put Up. Who knows where he’ll be next year, though.

Josh Beckett – "Rock The House" – Gorillaz

Key Lyric: Taking you to another landscape/Is my mandate

Without Josh Beckett's pitching there’s no way we’d be where we are this year. Case in point: 2006, when Beckett was not the dominant force he was today

Mike Timlin – "Time Is Running Out" – Muse

Key Lyric: Our time is running out

Another veteran pitcher probably heading towards retirement after a great career and great playoffs.

Manny Delcarmen – "Welcome Home" – Coheed & Cambria

Key Lyric: Hang on to the glory at my right hand.

Local kid getting to pitch for his hometown team in the World Series? Pretty cool.

Clay Buchholz – "Song For Clay" – Bloc Party

Key Lyric: I am trying to be heroic/In an age of modernity./I am trying to be heroic/because all around me history sings.

Why not?

Javier Lopez – "Who Cares?" – Gnarls Barkley

Key Lyric: Who cares?

I don’t.

Hideki Okajima – "Decent Days And Nights" – The Futureheads

Key Lyric: If you work it out tell me what you find

After giving up a Home Run to the first batter he ever faced, Okie became our second most reliable reliever this season, putting together an amazing season to everyone’s surprise.


Manny Ramirez – “Carry On My Wayward Son” – Kansas

Key Lyric: Carry on my wayward son/There’ll be peace when you are done.

Manny is so misunderstood by the media that when he broke his silence only to say something completely rational (It’s only a game), he was buried. He should just keep doing what he’s doing (Being a bad, bad man, man) for his remaining years and retire as one of the greatest Left Fielders of all time.

Coco Crisp – "Deadwood" – Dirty Pretty Things

Key Lyric: Don’t give me that face /I know when I should live in disgrace /Not dig up the deadwood/I knew this place was never the place for me

See ya, Coco. At least he boosted his trade value with that catch in Game 7 of the ALCS.

JD Drew – "Sometimes I Don’t Get You" – Yo La Tengo

Key Lyric: Sometimes I don't know you/It's like we never met

J.D. Drew’s swing is gorgeous, only too many times it’s end result is a ground out to 2nd base. Sometimes he’s amazing in the field, other times it’s like watching a deleted scene from Angels In The Outfield (pre Christopher Lloyd’s intervention, natch). I don’t know what to make of this dude.

Eric Hinske – "These Are The Fables" – The New Pornographers

Key Lyric: These are fables on my street

Remember when Eric Hinske was Rookie Of The Year? Me neither. He better stay the hell away from Pedroia and Ellsbury.

Jacoby Ellsbury – "Run Like An Antelope" – Phish

Key Lyric: Set the gearshift to the high gear of your soul/You’ve got to run like an antelope/Out of control

I’ve never seen a member of the Red Sox take two bases on a Wild Pitch with such ease. Jacoby is going to be a breath of fresh air in Boston allowing the Sox to mix in a little small ball with their typical AL play.

Bobby Kielty - "Wake Up" - Arcade Fire

Key Lyric: With my lightning bolts a-glowing/I can see where I am going

Kielty woke up from his bench induced slumber (not including the snooze alarm that is C.C. Sabathia) to hit the World Series winning home run. Bobby "bleeping" Kielty. The finest redhead to don a Red Sox uniform in years


Kevin Youkilis – "Israel’s Son" – Silverchair

Key Lyric: I am Israel’s son/Put your hands in the air

I couldn’t find any songs about horrid facial hair (ZZ Top songs don’t count) so I have to give props to a fellow chosen son. With Adam Stern and Gabe Kapler gone, it’s just me and you, buddy!

Julio Lugo – "Let’s Call It Off" – Peter Bjorn and John

Key Lyric: Did you agree/ we just let it be/And did you agree/ It's a must/Let's call the whole thing off.

Hopefully we’re dunzo with the Julio Lugo experience. I know I’m dunzo with saying dunzo, however.

Dustin Pedroia – "Emerge" – Fischerspooner

Key Lyric: Feels good/Looks good/Sounds good/Looks good

  1. I find it hilarious that Dustin, nee Dusty, would listen to horrible techno music

  2. I’m part of a 3 person campaign to rename Dustin as Dusty, join the fight

  3. Despite the man’s serious Napoleon Complex, he has emerged as one of the team’s superstars.

Mike Lowell – "So Come Back, I Am Waiting" – Okkervil River

Key Lyric: So come back and we'll take them all on.

My gut feeling tells me Mike Lowell will not be back, but I’m hoping he’ll take a 2 year deal with the Sox, and play Gold Glove caliber defense on the way to a few more World Series titles.

Alex Cora - "Fancy Claps" - Wolf Parade
Key Lyric: We'll be home then/We can sing and/We'll be home then

Cora has been relegated to hanging out in the dugout and joining in in celebratory handshakes with happy teammates. Best. Job. Ever.


Jason Varitek – "Ride Captain Ride" – Blues Image

Key Lyric: Ride captain ride/Upon your mystery ship/On your way to a world/That others might have missed.

He’s getting up there in age, his bat is slowing, but he’s still the brains of our operation.

Doug Mirabelli – "Wake Me Up When September Comes" – Green Day

Key Lyric: Wake me up when September comes

Keeping a pretty bad backup catcher on the roster solely to catch a knuckleballer doesn’t really make sense. Neither does this song selection.


David Ortiz – "The Man Of Metropolis Steals Our Hearts "– Sufjan Stevens

Key Lyric: Man of Steel, Man of Heart /Turn your ear to my part /There are things you have said/Raise the boat, and raise the dead

Big Papi, our personal smiling Superman single-handedly got us to the promised land in 2004 and the momentum is still carrying in Red Sox Nation.


Terry Francona – "Everything In It’s Right Place" – Radiohead

Key Lyric: Everything in it’s right place
Tito made all the right moves all year.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Zdeno Chara Is A Monstrous Man

After a season of not being allowed to fight by his former coach who couldn't bear to deal with the loss of his ice time, Zdeno Chara was finally allowed to beat the everloving shit out of someone whilst wearing a Bruins uniform.

Chara's victim: the 6'6" David Koci. Nomally a large man, but when you're the tallest player in an entire league, everyone's your bitch.

And, in the words of Smokey from 'Friday' via the USA Networks edit: "Maaan. You got knocked the flu out"

Video of the fight: Can be found here.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

The Challenge Has Come And Gone OR: While My Video Game Guitar Gently Weeps

So last week the Guitar Hero Rock Band challenge came to fruition. I lost to Bang Camaro's Brynn Bennett 95%-91% despite the fact that Brynn was the basis for one of the fucking characters.

It was a lot of fun and I hope to one day be able to afford this game in my own home.

Here's the link to the actual page of video challenges.

Monday, October 22, 2007

World Series!

Check out the pic the studio webcam caught of me during Youk's home run

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Radiohead 'In Rainbows'

As uncritically as I can possibly be, this album is blowing my fucking mind off.

That is all.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Little Miss Mota

Greetings Deadspinners.

Here's more Mota fun. I have not been able to find any clips of, what Wikipedia calls Mota's catchphrase: "Mota excessively uses the phrase, "Raht neow!" to connote great enthusiasm and passion in his play-by-play and in-game analysis."

I have no idea what this would sound like, but I bet it's adorable. Until then, there's this:

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Farewell Jose Mota

Red Sox fans are expressing nothing but joy as the Sox managed to forget their post-All Star break swoon and dominate the hapless Danza-less Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. I, however, feel a twinge of sadness knowing the ALDS MVP will no longer be with us.

Fear not, Manny will remain in left, Papi will still man the DH spot and Beckett is still our ace, but the true MVP will most likely stay put in Anaheim (or is it Los Angeles?!). It is our time to bid adieu to the man with the impeccable mustache, the perfectly symmetrical head, the hypnotizing brown eyes and the accent of questionable origin.

Farewell Jose Mota.

Over the past three games, TBS has brought Jose Mota into the hearts of many and we'll be sad to see him go. I'm still not really sure that I've ever listened to any of his 'sideline' reports. What I do know is that I drunkenly exclaimed in front of my friends that I thought Mota was "Adorable, in a stuffed animal kind of way." A statement that was not only generally accepted, but eclipsed moments later by my girlfriend who stated that she wanted to "adopt him." Once again, no resistance.

The man is a God. Fuck, he even got Manny Ramirez to agree to a post game interview. Is no one immune to Jose Mota's charm? I feel confident that if we only were able to send Jose into hostage negotiations, UN Security Council Meetings and Britney's next court appearance, the world would be a better place.

So, while I'm preparing to learn how to raise a 42 year old Spanish language announcer, check out this fabulous homage to Jose Mota. Brought to you by my nameless music message board compatriot, Soda.

The Ultimate Tribute To Jose Mota.