Closing Shop

Closing out this blog, but keeping the archives up.

New posts can be found here.

Fuck Off, Facebook

I Think A Facebook Quiz Just Said I Will Give Birth to The Lord!

Arctic Monkeys Review

Katelyn and I hit up the Arctic Monkeys show at Paradise on Wednesday. Here's the review.

This Is a Real Blog

Why can't there be other truly funny shows like "Melcolm in the middle"? There's no laugh track to distract from the show. The actors are brilliant; all of them. Unfortunately, the shows are all re-runs now. Where are the writers of that show? Did they all retire? Can't they come up with another formula and get fresh actors?

Anyway, that's my gripe.

When Facebook Quizzes Get Out of Hand

A maelstrom went down after I took the What Mighty Ducks Character Are You? Quiz on Facebook a few days ago. I got Adam Banks (I do love cake! Ask anyone who's ever seen me at a wedding) and minutes later my brother and Chaves took the quiz with differing results (Chaves: Russ Tyler, Dave: Coach Bombay.) This resulted in the fastest flurry of Facebooking I'd ever been a part of. 40 comments and a group AIM chat later, we had plans for a Trilogy screening featuring a Mighty Ducks drinking game (suggestions welcome in the comments.)

The following is my favorite exchange:

The Most Boring Google Alert Ever

I am self absorbed, so naturally, I have a Google Alert set up for my name. It's pretty humbling, but it can also be construed as a good thing, because, I'm not being identity thieved, or talked about on the nets.

Anyway, thanks Google, for alerting me I signed up for Facebook 5 years ago.

RAAAAAAAANDY

I wasn't super excited for Funny People until Randy came into my life. Check that; until Raaaaaaaandy came into my life. 8 A's and all.

Raaaaaaaandy is the fake comedian in the movie Funny People played by real comedian (and racist fruit cart vendor) Aziz Ansari.

Check out his website, watch his videos and use his soundboard.

If you dont laugh, you may not have a soul.

What's In Your Wallet: Inventory of my Costanza Wallet

I never had a problem with my wallet, until recently. In the last month or so my girlfriend and coworkers have been commenting on my "Costanza Wallet." I had noticed that my front pocket had become less roomy, a problem I had attributed to a change in the standard size of front pockets across the denim industry rather than my wallet becoming overstuffed. In retrospect, this seems patently ridiculous.

What follows are the actual contents of my wallet:

One (1) Driver's License: This seems fairly necessary.

One (1) Work ID: Likewise.

One (1) Blockbuster card issued to my Mom in 1996: Can probably do without.

One (1) Updated AAA card: Considering I had 4 of them in there until recently, this is an improvement.

One (1) Picture of Katelyn: Awesome picture. Necessary in any wallet I own.

One (1) Jillian's Player Club Card: The Jillian's in Boston got rid of their video games about 5 years ago This is probably not important. I did carry this card with me because, "I think I might need it, sometime." This time occurred several years ago at the Jillian's on Long Island. They would not accept this card because "Boston does their own thing." Status: Trashed. We're making progress.

One (1) Dental Plan Card: I have never been asked for this at my dentist, but you never know.

Four (4) Credit/Debit Cards: 2 defunct, 2 active. Which is which? That's for you to guess, robber. Always have decoys.

Three (3) Cards to Supermarkets I do not shop at: Additionally, I have corresponding key chain mini-cards to each of these currently on my key chain. Status: Trashed.

One (1) Ikea Gift Card: With no money on it.... I think?

One (1) Friend Of Harpoon Membership Card: So far membership has no privileges.... other than probably raising any potential arresting officer's suspicion.

One (1) Best Buy Reward Zone Card: Supposedly you just need a phone number for Best Buy to credit purchases to your Reward Zone card. But why risk it?

One (1) Men's Wearhouse Perfect Fit Card: Thus far, I've been fitted for 3 tuxes this summer, and each time they've automatically applied them to my Perfect Fit account, no card necessary. Maybe I will relegate this card to desk drawer status, instead.

Two (2) Health Insurance Cards: One for me, one for a friend?

Two (2) Business cards of friends: I suppose it might be important to note that I speak to these friends regularly, have their cell phone numbers in my phone, and know their email addresses by heart.

Five (5) of my Business cards: On only one occasion have I given my business card to a non-family member or friend. I think it was to lighten the load. For some reason I think they might a) Get me access to somewhere cool (not likely), b) get me out of a speeding ticket (less likely), c) Impress someone important (least likely.)

One (1) Ticket stub to the December 7th, 2008 5:00PM showing of Role Models in Tucson, Arizona: Potential collector's item. Status: Imminent eBay-ing.

One (1) Padlock combination: For the locker in which I lock my wallet at the gym.

One (1) 2008-2009 Pocket Bruins Schedule: Do you know where you where on November 1, 2008? I do.

One (1) Best Buy receipt totalling $785.39: In case I'm ever out with friends and need to return my TV!

Three (3) Fortune cookie fortunes: "You are about to begin a prosperous business venture."; "Good news of a long-awaited event will arrive soon."; "A new venture will be a success." Additionally, I now know how to say "Drunk/Tipsy" and "To eat" in Chinese.

One (1) ticket stub to The Dead Weather at Boston's House of Blues 7/18/09: For instant hipster street cred, when needed.

Three (3) Hofstra University College ID's: I graduated Hofstra in 2004.

• One of these is a temporary Alumni ID in case I ever need to: use the Axinn Library, Computer Lab or Rec. Center. I've been back roughly 3 times since graduation.
• As for the other two, one is the ID everyone had and one is a major collector's item. In 2003, Hofstra switched over ID's to this really ugly white, yellow and blue ID. Everyone had to turn in their old ID's to get their new one... except me, who on the strength of a savvy lie, got to keep my old one. This was a highly controversial move across campus and widely remembered, by only me.

Thirteen (13) US Dollars: Sadly, the only things that will leave my wallet at a rapid rade.

The Trouble With Muggles

On Wednesday, I'll be heading to Showcase Randolph to see Harry Potter 6 with no fewer than 10 friends. Yes, we are all in our early to mid (OK, late [fuck]) twenties, but that does not hinder our enthusiasm or dorkitude. In fact, I even created a Facebook invite for the trip to the movies (Tagline: Wingardium Leviosohmygod we are losers.)

Anyway, whenever a Potter movie comes out, I'm always reminded me of the horrible experience I had at the midnight screening of Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban.

First, these things, especially at midnight, are a spectacle. Young kids up way later than they should be otherwise, older people dressed like wizards, breathless anticipation for a movie based on a book everyone there has already read. It's a shitshow. The place, however, will get pin drop quiet the second the Warner Bros. logo appears and we are taken through the 3-D title screens and whisked away to Privet Drive.

The transition plays suit and everyone is enjoying themselves, the pre-show craziness a distant memory. Azkaban runs 141 minutes, and about 131 minutes in, something happens.

As Harry and crew are taking a ride on Buckbeak, the film melts. Not breaks, not rips, not comes off spool. Melts. It looked like the cover of Metallica's Loaded (minus the cow semen, hopefully.)

A head usher comes out to explain the situation, and people freak the fuck out. Adults in wizard robes hurling obscenities at a movie theater employee as their children wail. Yes, I've witnessed that. It's at least 2 a.m. and it's god damned bedlam.

Long story short, we get herded out, get free tickets and I end up using mine on Azkaban again.

Turns out after all that madness, we missed about 4 minutes total. 4 minutes, well worth it.

For the love of god this won't happen on Wednesday.

New Dumbest Question Ever Overheard (WARNING: Bruno Spoiler Alert)

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OK, that's fair, right?

Saw Bruno last night with Katelyn. Towards the end there's a music video with Bruno and several A-list celebrities. Anyway, Bono pops up, and the moron behind us, who didn't understand any of the movie, goes, "Who is that?"

It kinda blew my mind. How does one not know who Bono is? I'd imagine 95% of all people (at least) know who Bono is. I happened to be sitting in front of one of the select few who have no idea who he is. Crazy. I don't even like U2 and I know who Bono is. In fact, I feel it's ridiculous to assert that you do know who Bono is. How does this happen?

Suffice it to say, she had no fucking idea who Sting was either.

Civil War

I've been a competitive drinker now for about a decade. Competitive not in the sense that my liver plays the role of the Washington Generals, but in the sense that I enjoy me some beer gaming when the time is appropriate.

I'm not really too keen on quarters, or card related games, but flip cup and Beer Pong especially strike my fancy (I believe this is the first time "strike my fancy" and "drinking games" have been used in the same sentence.) Beer Pong being the sport of choice.

I'm a pretty average Beer Pong-er, prone to bouts of extremes in either direction. I can go a whole game with hitting one cup, or I can be lights out. For example, I traveled to visit my youngest brother at the University of Arizona and we went to a party at his frat house before the U of A/ASU football game. I was pretty nervous playing, because I was older and prone to be the subject of "old man cant hang anymore" ridicule if I didn't at least carry my weight. It turned out we ran everyone off the table at the frat house, then did the same thing at an after party.

Anyway, all my old Beer Pong traits were for naught when I was presented with a variation of Beer Pong at a party yesterday: Civil War.

As, that site says: If Beirut is like football, with stops between plays, Civil War is rugby.

Essentially, this is 3 on 3, with 3 cups in front of each team member. Once your 3 are gone, so are you. But you are still available to "rebound" because, that's right, the ball is always live.

Without the ability to set and throw (because they are gunning for you while you are shooting), I was pretty terrible.... at the shooting portion. When it comes to rebounding though, it's all effort. I think I strained the entire left side of my body at some point, and severely harassed my opponents.

All in all, fun times. Definitely an outdoors only game. Keep your ice packs handy.

Fenway Honors Founding Father Owner No one

Spotted this Tweet from my friend Justin, who was at Friday night's Red Sox game (July 3rd.)

Is this an unfortunate lighting gaffe, or perhaps, a still-standing show of virility by John Henry who had his wedding at Fenway Park a few days ago?

Hmm.

Separated at Birth

I love hockey. I love Whale Wars. I haven't been able to get this connection out of my head for weeks (which is horrifying, believe me.) Other than being associated with arctic animals and their looks, I don't think they have much else in common.


1) Peter "The Hammer" Hammerstedt, Activist

In his five years with Sea Shepherd, Peter has been held hostage by Ecuadorian fishermen; physically attacked by sealers; assaulted and arrested by the Canadian Coast Guard (twice); involved in a confrontation which included the side-swiping of an illegal whaling ship; been rammed by another; and pulled up countless miles of fishing longline. In the war to defend life in the oceans, this Swede is far from neutral.









2) Marc-Andre Fleury, Goalie

Marc-André Fleury (born November 28, 1984 in Sorel-Tracy, Québec) is a Canadian professional ice hockey goaltender playing for the Pittsburgh Penguins of the National Hockey League (NHL). He won his first Stanley Cup with the Pittsburgh Penguins against Detroit in a 2-1 win.

Alumni Blues

When I was applying to college a decade ago (holy shit) my eventual school's motto was We Teach Success. Very cheesy, but Hofstra was in a rebuilding mode then. Most everyone will remember the cheesy radio ads that bombarded the airwaves from New York to New England featuring spokeswoman, and legendary lush, Mary Beth Carey.

Depending on who you asked, the most famous Hofstra students were either: A) Slot receiver Wayne Chrebet, B) Filmmaker Francis Ford Coppola or C) Dropout Christopher Walken.

It was still "The biggest private college on Long Island". Only no one outside of Long Island had ever heard of it.

Of course now, things have changed a bit there. They hosted a Presidential debate (double holy shit) and they're building a medical school (triple holy shit.) People have actually heard of Hofstra.

Then this asshole had to ruin it all again (copied directly from this page):

Bernard L. Madoff, former chairman of the NASDAQ stock exchange. Chairman of Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities, which he founded in 1960. One of the largest market maker companies on Wall Street. Arrested in 2008 for running a US$50 billion ponzi scheme.

New Computer! New Blogs?

Scored a gorgeous MacBook Pro the other day. My old computer was running on such fumes it was impossible to really do anything. Like blog (yeah, that's the excuse).

So once I figure out how to use this thing, expect more blogs. Maybe some Podcasts. Oh man.

Is Anything Possible?

I love Kevin Garnett. He's been my favorite NBA star since his days in Minnesota. As a Celtics fan, it was pretty hard to watch the C's struggle without KG in the playoffs. I think the Celtics would still be playing for the title right now with KG out there. So why wasn't he?

Garnett's not playing became a bit tougher to take when the news out of Boston Bruins breakup day came out yesterday.

Check out the injuries these players played with in the Carolina series:

Phil Kessel (2008-09 salary: $2.2m) - Torn rotator cuff, shoulder labrum - Will need surgery, expected to miss part of training camp. Played full series.

David Krejci ($883,333) - Torn hip labrum - Will need surgery, expected to be out 4-6 months. Played full series.

Chuck Kobasew ($2.3m) - Two broken ribs. Played full series.

Mark Recchi ($1.5m) - Had kidney stones surgically removed in between Games 6 and 7. Played full series.

Andrew Ference ($1.4m)- Torn groin, pelvis injurt - Will need surgery. Played 3 games.

These are just the major injuries. According to The Bruins Blog: Other Bruins who played through injuries included Marc Savard (knee), Milan Lucic (toe), and Zdeno Chara (shoulder, knee, and groin). Chara will not require surgery on any of his injuries. Savard noted that his knee problem probably would have kept him out for two weeks during the regular season.

So as the Bruins key players gutted it out through major injuries (Kessel: leading goal scorer, Krejci: 2nd on team in points), KG sat.

Hoping for the benefit of the doubt, knowing KG's intensity, I'm willing to wager that the Celtics feared KG furthering injury to his knee as a costly risk they could not take (KG made $24.75m this year and will make $16.4m next year.)

But, in the "me first" genaration of athletes, it's good to know that a championship means more to some players than their paycheck.

Day 31 - One More Day Again?

Once again the Bruins and my beard are on thin ice. The Bruins have golf in their immediate future, my beard, a razor. We've surpassed the 1 month mark officially today. Could it end the day after?

Yet again, thanks so much for all of the donations.

Honorable Awesome Beard Mention: Marc Savard, who's random blonde chin hair makes him look like baby faced Wolverine.

Day 29 - One Day Left?

Greetings from what could be my second to last day before shaving. Once again, the Bruins are on the brink of playing golf, and I am on the brink of nervous insanity. What symetry, as a loss tomorrow would be exactly one month after the season ended and I last shaved (April 12th.)

So, with not much else to say, and with our possible last look at the Bruins coming I'd have to rate Zdeno Chara's beard as top beard, with Manny Fernandez in second. Most surprising: Phil Kessel.

Day 27 - The Penultimate Day?

The Bruins are on the brink of elimination and I am on the brink of actually looking like I am capable of growing a beard (not really.) So far I have raised an amazing $300, which is just insane. Thanks to everyone! There is still time, though it may be fleeting the way the Bruins are playing. -DONATE HERE-

On an extreme sidenote, it seems Milan Lucic, my hero, grows a beard the same way as I.

Memento

One of the best parts of opening old drawers or wearing old clothes is the possibility of finding old stuff. I used to love coming back to college from winter break and finding random money strewn about my desk drawer and, since I'm a pack rat, wearing an old coat often produces fond memories of past ATM withdrawals in exotic locales like Dedham and Framingham.

Occasionally they can provide mysteries, like today. It did not involve opening an old drawer, but it did come from wearing old drawers (FUCKING ZING.) I broke out my trusty seersucker shorts to wear to work on this gorgeous April day and while fishing in my left pocket I felt a strange rubbery sensation.

Water balloons!

What the hell?

Now, I vaguely remember buying these water balloons before going whitewater rafting last summer, but we didn't use them and there's no way I would bring seersucker shorts camping, anyway.

I think I have some sort of Water Balloon War PTSD, because I can't remember how or why I was armed with these things. If you, or anyone else you know, were in a water baloon fight with me this past summer, please let me know.

Day 13



Man, if only I could grow connectors. Maybe next year in Jerusalem.

13 Days into the beard (the Bruins swept in 6 days BTW) and I'm up to $286. Absolutely insane. I thought I'd struggle to get $100. Feels pretty good right now, thanks to everyone.

A point to consider: Several B's were sporting some serious prelim beards in Game 4 (Z, Rydes, Yelle, Stuart and even Kessel.) They're going to look like mountain men by the time Game 1 of Round 2 comes by. No East team has even clinched yet, and they could go 8-9 days between games.

Day 6 - Milestone reached

Reached a big milestone on the Beard-A-Thon front, a financial milestone, not a follicle one. Raised $100 yesterday! Thanks to everyone who's donated, and there is still lots of time to donate more (knock on wood for the Bruins.) Deal still stands in which I will buy a beer for the person who donates the $150th dollar to my beard in progress. Same deal stands for other milestone markers.

Here is the link to donate.

Go B's!

Day Two

Two days til Game 1. What a frightening picture.

Track The Beard

OK, so I posted yesterday how I'm growing a playoff beard for charity and that part of the whole deal was out of superstition. Well, you can't grow a playoff beard that starts before the plaoyffs. That's playoff beard blasphemy. So, after I got home from work yesterday and the Bruins played their last game of the regular season (6-2 throttling of the Islanders) I shaved off what I had been working with.

Yesterday I looked like this:

At the midpoint of the shaving process I looked like this:

And now I am completely shorn. Here's Day 1 of the Playoff Beard progress. Hope my girlfriend still likes me:

Pledge My Playoff Beard for Charity

Every year I grow a semblance of a playoff beard for charity and this year is no different. Actually, it is a bit. The Bruins and the NHL are hosting "Beard-A-Thon", which allows people the "pledge" others beards.

Here's my profile

It's really easy to donate (just click the yellow "Pledge This Beard" button and follow the steps.)

Minimum donation is $10, but you can pledge whatever you want.

All donations go to the Boston Bruins Foundation.

NESN's Top 10 Bruins Game of 2008-09

10. 11/06/2008 – Maple Leafs 2-5 Bruins
09. 04/09/2009 – Canadiens 4-5 ot Bruins
08. 11/28/2008 – Islanders 2-7 Bruins
07. 10/25/2008 – Thrashers 4-5 Bruins
06. 11/13/2008 – Canadiens 1-6 Bruins
05. 02/26/2009 – Ducks 0-6 Bruins
04. 10/28/2008 – Bruins 1-0 Canucks & 10/27/2008 – Bruins 1-0 ot Oilers
03. 03/22/2009 – Devils 1-4 Bruins
02. 11/29/2008 – Red Wings 1-4 Bruins
01. 11/01/2008 – Stars 1-5 Bruins

My games are bolded. Pretty good haul for the inaugural year of being an STH and hoping this is just the tip of the iceberg!

Told Ya So

The Fenway Phish show is on, as evidenced by this totally awesome video on the splash page that I've watched 100 times.

I was told that the announcement would go down after all of the Summer Tour tickets went on sale, and that's exactly what happened. Toyota Park went on sale Saturday, Phish @ Fenway announced on Monday.

I'm assuming they were going to play that video at Fenway, but the game was rained out.

I was supposed to be there, but the rainout wreaked havoc on my plans. Or, changed the plans. Ended up heading to Pour House and Bleacher Bar with the Daves and others.

So yea, IT'S ON. Like I said.

Phish at Fenway. The only Fenway show I ever wanted to happen when they started doing them in 2003.

In Which I Purchase and Wear The Greatest Shirt of All Time

It's no secret that the Mighty Ducks Trilogy have had a great impact on me. So when my buddy Singer linked me to this site I freaked out. Originally they only had 5 or 6 Ducks shirts, which I fantasized about buying. Then, I checked a week or so ago and saw the ultimate:

Gunnar fucking Stahl, the greatest Junior Goodwill Games Hockey player of all time. I love Gunnar. My fantasy baseball team name was The Gunnar Stahl Experience one year, it's been a trivia team name as well. The guy's a legend. He dominated, showed deference when getting stoned by Julie "The Cat" Gaffney, pwned Wolf "The Dentist" Stansson, secretly moved to America under the name of Scooter, matriculated into Eden Hall, won the position of Varsity goaltender, then hooked up with Julie "The Cat" Gaffney.

Naturally, I bought the shirt and had to wear it out.

Originally we went to this plush douchefest in some snazzy lounge and I was woefully underdressed and totally uncomfortable drinking $10 G&T's in a tshirt. Things got better as we headed to an epic Irish bar with damn good Guinness and normal clientele. I was home.

As I was getting drinks, a guy came up to me and freaked out about the shirt. He said he originally wondered if Stahl was my last name or something, then saw the Iceland logo and knew. Throughout the night as we all progressively got drunker he kept calling me "GUNNAR!" and towards the end, Katelyn remembered he would follow me to the jukebox and suggest that I play Icelandic music. I was naturally flummoxed.

Moral of the story: Stahl jersey rules. I cant wait to buy this new Adam Banks one they just made.

God, I'm a fucking loser.

Jeff & Josh Gchat - A Semi-Regular Feature.

Today's subject: Last night's Friday Night Lights.

Josh: Why is Coach Taylor the greatest person ever

me: he is the fucking man

Josh: I know

me: great ep last night

Josh: yeah watching right now

me: what part are you on

Josh: tyra crying at the end

b/c she's jealous of mindy and billy

hahaha

me: aw

i think buddy G is gonna kill himself

Josh: b/c dillon football is bigger than even him

i can't wait to see the east dillon giraffes

me: haha

Josh: oh man

saracen back at qb in the finals!

me: i know!!!!1

fucking madison, that whore

know who else was a red headed whore that ruined everything?

mary fucking magdalene

Josh: hahahahahaha

maru disagrees

Josh: and says mary magdalene wasn't a red head

hahaha

i agree

me: IN THE DA VINCI CODE SHE WAS AND THATS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME

Josh: HAHA

touche Gobias

According to Google, I am an Expert in all things "Phish + Fenway"

Ask me anything you need to know, phriends.

Sample Q & A:

Q - Will this show happen?
A - Maybe

Q - What's the holdup with the announcement?
A - Didn't want to steal the thunder of Summer Tour '09. It's not happening and this is all made up.

Q - What could go wrong?
A - A lot... Phish fans are the worst (and I'm one of them) and they could trash Fenway, destroy the neighborhood, leave babies in the dugout, dose Terry Francona's chewing tobacco in addition to no less than 12 other devious acts that would cause Red Sox team members to fail P.E.D. tests.

Q - What could go right?
A - Phish at fucking FENWAY PARK! That's insane. They are a band that would understand the magnitude of the situation and run with it. Yes, they are from Vermont, but Boston is their home city. Plus it would allow everyone seeing DMB that same weekend to enjoy a real band.

Phish @ Fenway

Rumors are everywhere. Message Boards, Twitter, Hippie Communes (maybe). Phish @ Fenway on May 31. DMB will play 5/29 & 30.

Boston Globe printed something on this, mostly on the rumors, today:

Phish at Fenway?

Could Phish be gigging at Fenway? Neither Live Nation nor the band's rep would confirm it yesterday, but there's a lot of online chatter about a possible Phish fest at Fenway. The band, which is about to head out on the road for the first time in five years, is slated to kick things off at Jones Beach in New York June 4 and 5, followed by a show at the Comcast Center June 6. But we're hearing that Trey Anastasio, et al., may be bound for Boston May 31, which is the night after the Dave Matthews Band wraps up its two-night stand at the ballpark

I've also heard that the Fenway neighborhood signed off on the concert yesterday at 3pm.

Sounds a bit too good to be true, but info's coming in from so many angles, that I'd like to believe it's happening, massive fall apart not withstanding.

In summation:

Although I Much Prefer Macroblogging...

I have joined the microblogging world of Twitter. twitter.com/Jeff6582. I have 'tweeted' the last B's game I attended, and the Barrister's Ball feat. Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Enjoy.

I love Soulja Boy Jr.

25 Things About My Blog

Since the 25 Things Note I posted on Facebook means I could never possibly do an actual 25 Things Note and I'm not sure I could ever fill out one anyway, I decided to do a 25 Things Note about my blog. Humor me.

1) I blogged about how I thought The Mighty Ducks was 'fucking bullshit'.

2) I blogged about the false hope Guitar Hero gave me.

3) I blogged about my weekends in the Bronx.

4) I blogged about how I should get back into babysitting.

5) I blogged about robbing my apartment in a clearly passive agressive attempt to remind my roomates to lock the door.

6) I blogged about the most epic Halloween blackout of all time.

7) I blogged about being able to beat Steve Prefontaine in a race, and other benefits of baldness.

8) I blogged about the ridiculous song "Our Country" and how it would work for a Peugot ad.

9) I blogged about a Devil's Advocate column gone horribly awry.

10) I blogged about my crime solving tactics.

11) I blogged about Bumper Stickers.

12 I blogged about changes to Fenway following Dice-K's arrival.

13) I blogged about nearly being killed by Nickelback.

14) I blogged about the benefits of Fergie becoming reacquainted with crystal meth.

15) I blogged about the Mooninite Attack fallout.

16) I blogged about seeing Arcade Fire on Valentine's Day in a 400 person capacity church.

17) I blogged about choosing the Red Sox closer by song.

18) I blogged about an interview series I conducted with Team Ragtag

19) I blogged about Thanksgiving Eve in a white trash town.

20) I blogged about a movie I co-wrote once.

21) I blogged about challenging Bang Camaro

22) I blogged about attending an embarassing tale that occurred at a music industry party.

23) I blogged about a road trip to Astoria.

24) I blogged about my use in a promotional image.

25) I blogged about the Bruins.

Gadget Woes

My camera is being finicky, I need a new battery cover or else it won't stay on, hence no Bruins blog projects the past 3 games. Bruins loss with Mom vs. the Blues, Bruins win with Jon vs. the Caps, Bruins loss with Jon, Chris, Jackie vs. the Sharks. 3 Jumbotron appearances.

My iPod just died.

My laptop is barely functioning, hence no blogging from home.

Great timing.

The Real Downfall of Lucky the Mascot?

This has been floating around for the past few days since Lucky the Mascot has been fired from the Celtics. If true: Awesome. If fake: Still a great piece of fiction.

From:xxxx<
Date: Sat, 31 Jan 2009 09:07:38 EST
To: xxxxxx@yahoo.com
Subject: Real Lucky Story from the Boards...Seems legit

Ok, I have a friend who works for the Celtics. High enough that he knows the whole Lucky story.Here's the email I got from him today when I asked him about what happened (his name and address have been removed)...

From: xxxxxx@celtics.com
Sent: Thursday, January 29, 2009
To: xxx
Subject: Re: Lucky

Well, it’s a really long story. But I'll try and make it as brief as possible. Things have been getting worse over the past year for Damon (that’s Lucky). Even before the 07-08 season he started bitching about his salary. And he gets paid more than you think - the rumor around here is that it's in the 85-95k range. And it’s basically a part time job. Plus, he gets a bonus for appearances, so he's easily in six figures. They didn't end up giving a bump before last season, so he ended up blowing off a few appearances. The brass was a little pissed, but nothing major. Anyway, after the C's won it last year, it definitely went to his head. This year, he demanded a makeshift "meditation room" be made available so he could get to meditate before every game. He’s huge into that. But people from outside would walk by the closed door and hear him pumping himself up by saying things like "This is your game Damon" and "No one is better than you Damon." It was hilarious. I personally walked by once and heard him blaring some kind of techno and just yelling out loud screams. Also, this year he started referring to himself in the third person. And better yet, as "Lucky", instead of Damon. He did end up getting a raise this year, but I don’t think it was much - so he was pissed off again. But a few weeks ago, he started having creative differences with the game producer (his boss). Damon wanted to start introducing the players before the game - instead of having the announcer do it. He also wanted to start travelling with the team to away games. Plus, he HATED Coach Willie Maye and thought that he should be doing the in game interviews instead of Willie. Apparently the two of them had words on more than one occasion. But everyone here loves Willie, and that didn’t go over so well. So, the higher ups were starting to get fed up with his BS anyway. Anyway, the other day, there was some kind of fund raiser for Children's Hospital or something and he strictly refused to show up unless we sent a limo to pick him up at his house in Quincy. We obviously didn't send a limo, but told him to take a cab and we'd pay for it. He refused to do this and actually told his boss "Lucky doesn't take cabs" . An actual quote. Anyway, that was the last straw and we let him go yesterday.

Bruins Blog Project Game 7: 1/13/08 vs. Montreal Canadiens

Final Score: Bruins 3 Canadiens 1
Attended With: Dave
Banner Count: 2 Jumbotron appearances, 1 TV appearance (to be explained later)

Pregame: The MBTA must have read my last blog (here's your shoutout Dan Grabauskas) because Dave and I flew into North Station on gameday, getting to Hurricane O'Reilly's by about 5:20. And we weren't the only ones...

Canadiens/Bruins games are a treat because they're regular season games with playoff atmospheres (if you really want to blow your mind, go to a Bruins/Canadiens playoff game. Holy shit, they're intense.)

Dave and I were seated quickly, but the place was PACKED. Fans from Montreal always flock to Boston for these games because it's a relatively short drive and it's much easier to get tickets here than it is up there. Entire sections get filled with Habs fans (I'm looking at you Sec. 303.) We ate, had a few beers (O'Reilly's has an epic deal on Miller High Life FYI) and soaked in the festive atmosphere. A few "Go Habs Go" and "Ole" chants broke out, but nothing too severe.

We went early and scoped out the Pro Shop eager to show off our new project. The Banner.

Before every game, the Bruins play a great historical montage, then a season montage before introductions. They are incredibly well done and really give you the chills. Well, there's a portion that resonated with me, and I figured it would be a good way to celebrate our first year as Season Ticket Holders and honor Bruins fans of the past.

In one part of the video they show fans holding a banner that reads "Killer B's" and waving it in the balcony. At one point in the offseason I said, "I'm going to make that banner," and the time had finally come. A Habs/B's game would be the perfect time to unveil this to the masses and start a new tradition with our seats.



Jon got me the sheet (King sized, ugh) and during my days off, I went to work with some paint, a Sharpie and some brushes. Then, on game day, Scott helped me cut it down so the freaking King sized sheet wasn't visible from Outer Space. It was fun work and it was ready to go.

Dave and I got it into the Garden no problem (we were unsure the rules of banners so we hid it anyway) and laid out the banner so we could raise it quickly and, more importantly, not backwards. Then we sat there... and sat there. I mean, it was 20 minutes to game time, the building wasn't really full. Should we look like idiots and start showing this banner off to no one?

Sure!

We noticed this group doing a similar thing with a Bruins flag in Sec. 305 so we decided to join them. With 2 minutes left in the pregame skate we stood up, unfurled The Banner and pointed it to our right to our flag bearing friends, unsure what people would think.

Everyone fucking loved it!

The flag dudes were going nuts, people in our section were asking us to turn around so they could see it and snap pics. Our confidence boosted and we were no longerembarassed to flash the banner.



During the pregame montage when the banner showed (14 second mark) people in our section were like, "Put up the banner!" which we did a few seconds late. We're going to try and make this Standard Operating Banner Procedure. Flash the banner, during the montage



The Game: God I love Habs/B's tilts. It's perfectly acceptable, if not expected, to lose your voice by the end of the 1st period. As much as I hate Canadiens fans, you have to respect them, because they bring Bruins fans to the next level. The Garden was rocking from puck drop.

Zdeno Chara was an absolute beast. In the opening seconds, he flattened Tom Kostopolous, went on to score 2 goals in the game and just shut down everyone near him.

The first period was scoreless, the Habs were flying, we got popped up on the Jumbotron once and everyone inside was on edge.

The Habs scored first on a goal by one of the flying Kostitsyn Sisters and Habs fans were eager to shove it in our face. Big Z answered back (Jumbotron sighting!) and then scored again on a slapper that acted more like a changeup because of an Andrei Markov deflection.

In the midst of these two goals this happened:



The roof was barely on the Garden by the 2nd intermission.

I don't know when this happened, but it's worth mentioning. There was a huge brawl in Sec. 314 and it looked like Bruin on Bruin violence. Someone got jersey'd, and there were some huge haymakers thrown as well. Sad, really.

Montreal kept threatening in the 3rd, leaving us on the edge of our seat. It wasn't until near the last minute of the game when the Czech Jesus, David Krejci iced it.

Then my phone started ringing off the hook. Hmmm.... I wonder why? "Were we on TV? It's a VS game, I doubt they'd show us. Let me call Jon back."

Holy shit, we were! It's pretty much all Dave (rocking his autographed Manny Fernandez t-shirt) and the top of my hat. But it's still very amazing to me:



Post-game: I triumphantly wore the Killer B's banner as a cape on the way out. People still loved it. Dave and I hit Sully's Tap afterwards, which was about 103 degrees and still (shockingly) smelled of shit. After that, a slice of pizza at Halftime Pizza and a ride home on the T, only to watch us on the DVR about one million times after.

Thanks to peeps at HFBoards for the pics, and encouraging words about the banner during its contruction.

The Banner will now be rotated between the Season Ticket Holders and will hopefully be at every game for the rest of the year. Stop by and say hi.

Next two homegames are all me, St Louis with my Mom, and then Washington.

Bruins Blog Project Game 6.5: 1/6/08 vs. Minnesota Wild

Final Score:
Attended With: Jon, Chris, Mom, Dad, Brothers Dave and Rob

Pre-Pregame: Few quick notes, thus necessitating a pre-pregame column.

1) I know it looks like I've been slacking, but I really haven't missed blogging a season ticket holder game. Last game I had was on 11/29 and the next one I have is 1/13. I did watch the Bruins destroy the Thrashers 4-2 on December 13th. Hell, I watched it from the 4th row:



So why didn't I blog? Well a combination of big time internet problems at home, facebook not uploading photos for about a week and, oh, a pretty big hangover.

2) Scored a sick new Bruins jersey on ebay. It is the road white jersey. The seller had it for Buy It Now: $99 or Best Offer. I jokingly Best Offered him $70 and it is now mine. I love it, but think it might be bad luck.

3) Attended the Bruins Wives' Charity Carnival on 1/4 and it was awesome. Katelyn and I got our photos taken with Zdeno Chara, toured the locker room, etc. Took 200+ photos here.

4) You may have noticed the "Attended With" section is quite full. Well here's the deal. Chris had our Section 308 seats, Jon had won 2 loge seats for $5 through some Cybear Club promotion and at the aforementioned Wives' Carnival, I won 4 seats to the game. So, being the #1 son & brother, I gave the tickets to my family.

OK all caught up?

Pregame: The MBTA fucking hates me. Allow me to explain. Got to Wollaston before 5 p.m., with the hopes of meeting Jon at Hurricane's by 5:30 or so for a beer or two, meeting up with the fam and heading in. I hate being rushed getting to the game, and being in town at 5:30 for a 7 p.m. game is so very refreshing.

A train finally comes (took about 10-15 minutes) and we pull into the next stop, North Quincy. And nothing happened. And nothing happened. And nothing happened. For a good 15 minutes, I was waiting on a packed train at rush hour while the conductor frantically walked outside. Eventually, we pulled up the extra 50 feet to the station and were let out. Train out of service. Good times! Apparently, someone had jumped onto the track to retrieve a cell phone and the train made an emergency stop or something. Great. Now you have two trains worth of people waiting for the next train and I've gone one stop in 35 minutes.

*Aside: Our train also went out of service on New Year's Eve right after N. Quincy, which caused us to nearly miss our Joel McHale show*

Finally back on the train, we are stopped abruptly for about 5 minutes in the middle of nowhere. When we get going again, finally some good news appears. This will now be an Express Train to South Station. SWEET! From there on my problems washed away and I was running to Hurricane O'Reilly's at 6.

Met up with Jon, grabbed a quick beer and my family arrived. We chatted away for a few, snapped some pics, then headed in. I didn't want them to miss the intro. Tonight's giveaway:a Ghost Ryder poster featuring Michael Ryder. The Bruins love their fake movie posters.


The Game: Not much to say here about the actual game. Fucking Minnesota and their stupid trap. They are perfectly content sitting 4 guys back in the neutral zone and winning every game by scoring 1-0. Which is exactly what they did.

Buncha B's looked really bad, and I'd say the best line was the Krecji-Ryder-Wheeler line, per usual. Wheeler was skating around guys as if they weer pylons but couldn't get a decent shot on the net, Krecji was passing too much (not always a bad thing, but in this case it was), and Ryder rang one off the post. Big Z also had a good chance but somehow couldn't pot it. For the love of all that is good and joyful, please remove P.J. Axelsson from the Power Play unit. Thanks!

The seats that Jon nabbed were sick. 21st row behind the net, which put us in the last row before the premium seats. Here is a look:



My family was up in Sec. 321 so I went up and sat with them for the 2nd period. I know this seems like a fantastic family man, but really I just wanted to sit on the side where the Bruins shot for all 3 periods. Just kidding. Possibly.

Here's the few from up in the heavens:



You might be asking yourself why I'd choose to waste a whole period way up top when I was so close. Well, my friend, it's clear you have never been to a hockey game. I love the balcony. It's livelier and you can see EVERYTHING. Remember those 4th row seats I mentioned earlier? Great for when the play is right in front of you. After that, you're at the mercy of whatever the Jumbotron is showing.

I mean, check out this video I took for no reason while really, really drunk to illustrate my point:





Additionally, the atmosphere down low is nothing compared to the heavens. There's rarely any chanting, nothing beyond clapping, really. To really put things in perspective, at that Atlanta game, there was a woman in my row wearing a fur coat.

/Soapbox.

Post game: Went to the Penalty Box with Jon and met up with Chris, Jackie and Andrew. We discussed the upcoming Sharks game we are all attending, Chris' love for Joe Thornton, Jon's eBay addiction and the soon-to-be constructed epic Cam Neely hooded sweatshirt.

Early night, work in the A.M.

Stay tuned for a busy month from me, however:

Using Me As A Promotional Image: A Surefire Way To Doom Yourself?

I enjoy myself some Biba. It's good with gin, it's good plain and it's even good in some beer (seriously), but I have to doubt their marketing plan.

Unless their core demo is bearded, flannel and toque clad 20 somethings. Then it's a great idea.

http://www.drinkbiba.com/events.php

Thanks to Katelyn for pointing this out.