Friday, December 12, 2008

Midnight In The Garden Of Good and .... Well... Just Good

What do the Denver Nuggets, Pittsburgh Penguins and Toronto Maple Leafs have in common? Not too much, aside from all being professional sports franchises with, like, uniforms and stuff. And, oh yeah, they're the only teams to win at the TDBanknorth Boston Garden this year.

It's no secret that the Bruins and Celtics are cruising to fantastic starts. The C's 21-2 start is the best in franchise history and the Bruins have surprised most everyone as their 19-5-4 record is tops in the Eastern Conference (despite the fact that the Rangers have played roughly 47 games more than anyone else.)

What is surprising, is how dominating both teams have been at home. The Bruins and Celtics are a combined 22-2-1 inside the Garden. It looks even better in its own paragraph, centered and perhaps bolded.


Even the losses have been pretty memorable. The C's fell to the Nuggets on Chauncey's first trip back to Boston after the trade, The B's fell in OT to the Pens on Opening Night and the Bruins stopped playing the Leafs after Milan Lucic nearly murdered Mike Van Ryn and blew a 2 goal lead.

Before last year, both of these two teams were the laughingstock of Boston. Now they're not only winning, they're dominating in front of fans.

Jeremy Jacobs, you may resume your Scrooge McDuck-like breaststroke through your vault of money.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Bruins Blog Project Game 5: 11/29/08 vs. Detroit Red Wings

Final Score: Bruins 4 Detroit 1
Attended With: Katelyn

Pregame: This is the one I'd been waiting for. You may remember, back in September, my fellow Season Ticket Holders and I got together for our Season Ticket Holder Draft, to divvy up the games. I had first pick. That pick, happened to be to last night's game vs. Detroit.

Originally, I just wanted to see the defending Cup champs and how my fledgling B's would fare against them. Little did I know, it would be a match-up of, arguably, two of the best three teams in the entire NHL.

Katelyn and I had the rare occurrence of finding both of our trains (Red in Quincy, Orange @ Downtown Crossing) waiting for us as we got there. That never happens, so we were pretty stoked, despite missing out on a full experience by our favorite street performer ("Someone needs to tell her she's not Johnny Cash," says Katelyn.)

Got to North Station shortly after 6, visited the merch stand there, and Katelyn got a pretty sick sweatshirt for only $20. Highly recommended.

We had plans to scrap grabbing a drink on Canal Street and get one inside, and it's a good thing we did. It was PACKED. The line to get into the Garden was spilling outside (possibly because of a busted escalator.) I was shocked at the amount of Red Wings fans in attendance. There may have been less than Sabres fans, but the red really sticks out. Overall, they were good natured and didn't cause any problems. Still, I swore to Katelyn that I would scream, "Go Back To 8 Mile" at one point.

We were in our seats, fed and quenched 15 minutes before the drop.

Third Jersey Mea Culpa: OK, I had gone on record saying I hated the 3rd jersey for it's sheer disregard of the classic Bruins jerseys. After seeing the on-ice product Friday and Saturday, I have to vary my opinion. I think it looks great on the ice. The numbers and arm stripes evoke the 80's Boston Bruins jerseys which I grew up on. I would still like to see a lace up collar and a bear on the shoulders. I also dislike the jersey without a name/number on the back.

The Game: I will be the first to tell you that I never expected to hear another "Manny Manny" chant in Boston after Manny Ramirez got traded. I was pleasantly wronged. The Manny cheers rang out in our section after one of his many flurries of saves to preserve a 3-0 lead.

The Red Wings are fucking awesome, however. The Bruins were held without a shot for half of the first period as the Wings just flew around (pun intended?) the ice. The B's did score on their first shot, a nasty 2 on 1 started by Ryder and finished by Wheeler (love that line.) With the Wings, you never feel safe with a lead. I was still nervous up 3-0 with an entire period ahead of us.

This was probably the least physical game I've seen in person this year. The Wings would rather finesse than get dirty, and the fact that the B's could take it to a team playing that way speaks volumes about how good they are. Still searching for the hit of the game, BTW. Chara absolutely leveled Datsyuk (or as Steve would call him, Dat-SUCK) on the Wings first PP of the day. If anyone gets a hold of it, let me know.

The Killer K's (Kessel, Kobasew and Krecji) finished off the scoring for the Bruins, and the Red Wings only goal of the game came off of Marc Savard's skate (that guy gets in on EVERY goal) on their ridiculously insane Power Play.

Postgame: Wasn't planning on really going out after the game, as I had to work the next morning, but I got the call that Chaves and crew were attending the Randolph High School Class of '98 High School Reunion at the Greatest Bar so we headed down to meet up with him. At face value, this seems like a perfectly normal sentence, but when you examine a few facts you can note the insanity:

  • Chaves, Katelyn and I were not members of the Randolph High School Class of '98 (Dave and I were '00, Katelyn didn't even go to RHS.)
  • The Greatest Bar is (arguably) the most popular Garden-area bar. Post-game on Thanksgiving Reunion Weekend and we were looking at a massive, massive line and a steep cover.

We were upstairs at the Greatest Bar, for free I might add, in seconds.

How? Well, not only does smoking kill, but it also gets you into bars you didn't pay for. Next time you're meeting up with friends who are already inside a bar, tell them to come out, make them smoke cigarettes (Peer Pressure!) then walk in with them. It also helps if you utter the phrase, "Go Blue Devils!" Bonus: You don't even have to smoke!

Once upstairs we ran into Klotz ('00 represent!) and others from '98 whom I hadn't seen in awhile. Fun times.

We had to jet, in order to get home, and as we were walking to the train station we noticed a group of rowdy Bruins fans (waiting for autographs) boo two girls wearing Wings jerseys. They were giving it right back, so I screamed, "Go Back to 8 Mile!" (told you I'd bust it out.) It elicited a pretty good laugh so I was happy with myself.

On the train ride home we met a family from Oregon State here visiting their daughter. They were all decked out in black and orange, mourning the loss of The Civil War to the hated Oregon Ducks. I don't know what it is with out-of-state college football fans, but like the Clemson fans from earlier this month, I took it upon myself to be an ambassador of Boston and made sure they were enjoying themselves and having a good stay.

That's it for now. No games for me until January 13, 2008 vs the Habs, so I will filling this space with other stuff that I hope you will enjoy.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Bruins Blog Project To Return This Weekend

After a seemingly interminable wait (for me at least) since I've seen a Bruins game, I shall once again resume my hockey going activities.

Katelyn and I will be hitting Bruins vs. Red Wings, which will be a game of epic proportions.

Should have everything posted up by Sunday for your enjoyment, as I'm assuming the masses (5-7 people) are clamoring.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

I Saw Twilight At Midnight

You know the scene in Coming To America where they are bullshitting around the Barber Shop and the following conversation ensues?

-That boy good!
-Yea, good and terrible!

Well, that's kind of what the movie Twilight was like. And yes, I saw it at midnight on Thursday night.

Full Disclosure: I read the first two books and I liked them alright. There's a bit too much teen girl crap in ratio to cool vampire stuff in the books, but as a 26 year old guy, I imagine I'm not the target market.

On to the goods (and terribles) of the Twilight experience...

Good: Over prepared-ness by the Randolph Movie Theater. Originally slated to play in 2 theaters, the crowd was insane and they opened a third. Also, when Katelyn and I arrived, the line to get into Theater 12 was a mass of Hot Topic insanity that stretched for miles. They let us switch to Theater 4, which had no line to speak of. Nice.

And Terrible: The people surround us in line. Holy shit, what a poor sample size of humanity.

Directly in front of us: A couple either very dumb or very stoned or very much both. The girl was not wearing shoes and the guy wouldn't shut up. He once had a 20 minute conversation with himself (because his girl didnt really talk) in which he tried to figure out "the name of that Chinese place in California where the movie premieres are."

Directly behind us: A large, gothy looking know-it-all who was one of those know-it-alls that have to announce to the world every miniscule production note on the Twilight series and all other series that somehow vaguely relate to the occult. Had bad piercings. Waited in line for hours alone. But she did strike up a never ending convesation with:

The ghetto girls to our right: I've never watched the show "True Blood", but thanks to them I know that, "That black dude is gay but he's a straight up nigga." Well then. One also asked if this movie was just going to be about "Twilight" or all 4 of the books (which have different titles.) Awesome.

Good: Seat situation. Opening the third theatre helped out. Think we had a few seats open to our left to put jackets, etc.

And Terrible: Going to a movie filled with screaming tweens is annoying. The squeal when Edward Cullen appeared on screen was hilarious. There were also grls behind us doing a full on play by play of EVERYTHING going on.

Good: The casting. Bella, her dad and her friends were all cast pretty well. They gave scenes that could've been boring some life.

And Terrible: The casting, speficially for Rosalie and Carlisle. In the books, Rosalie is basically described as the hottest person of all time. Not going to lie, I was excited to see who was going to play her. Turns out we get this. C'mon, Michael! You know things are bad when your girlfriend brings up the fact that another girl should be hotter.

And oh, man. Carlisle Cullen as portrayed by.... Peter fuckin Facinelli!! Holy shit, Mike Dexter himself! When he walked on screen Katelyn and I started laughing out loud. Not good, especially when his scene involves tending to an injured person in a hospital. Only wish he referred to Bella as "Isabell-UH", Aman-duh, style.

Good: The movie. It was pretty solid. On the archaic ranking system, maybe a B- or something. The scenes with Bella's friends were well beyond expectations and the cinematography was pretty beautiful.

And Terrible: The movie, specifically the director Catherine Hardwicke, who should probably be banned from making movies. God, she was terrible. Random jump cuts, arbitrary use of (very, very poor) special effects (hey look, Edward's fast. we get it. zOMG vampires are strong, too,) and of course, the flashback:

For no reason, while Jacob was explaining Werewolf history to Bella, Hardwicke decided to show the most ridiculous sepia-colored flashback video in the history of flashbacks. It showed Native Americans in Wolf hats, descending upon the Cullens decked out in colonial era clothes. WTF? It was SO fucking bad, Katelyn and I again, started laughing out loud. During a serious scene.

Twilight was full of unintentional humor like that. Bottom line, it looked like it was made for very very little money. If it has any intentions of even being spoken in the same breath as Harry Potter, it's got another thing coming.

There it is. Twilight. At Midnight.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Mac Spotted On 'Law And Order'

Was flipping through channels today and in the info for Law and Order I saw:

"blah blah blah blah blah blah blah (Rob McElhenney) and (blah blah) blah blah blah blah blah"

I had just watched "The Nightman Cometh" minutes before, so I had to hang around and wait for him to pop up on screen. Oh man, I was glad I did!

"Law & Order" .... Joey Timon (1 episode, 1997)
... aka Law & Order Prime (USA: informal title)
- Thrill (1997) TV episode .... Joey Timon

Hmm. Needs more cat eyes.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Write In Tim Thomas

Thursday, November 13, 2008

The Annual French Canadian Invasion Begins

Just got this email from my friend Josh:

In faneuil hall again...just walked into 10 canadien fans one was also
wearing a yankees hat...fuckin' douches

Ah, it's that time of the year again! The Canadiens are playing in Boston for the first time this season, and man, do they swarm Boston. It's nearly impossible to get a ticket in Montreal, so they all come here, and invade our fair city.

The Garden is absolutely insane when they play here, though. It's a playoff game, every game. The Habs fans, for some reason, chant Ole Ole Ole (like the soccer chant) and the Bruins fans counter with the oh-so clever "You're gay, you're gay, you're gay" chant.

Anyway, I love classic outbursts like the email Josh just sent me, and he isn't even a hockey fan.

The best all time goes to Katelyn, though, on the eve of Game 3 of the playoffs vs. the Canadiens. She was driving along Memorial Drive in Cambridge and spotted a lone Carey Price jersey'd Canadien fan walking the streets. At a light, she rolled down her window, honked and yelled "Canadiens Suck!" then called me immediately after.

It was one of the more hilarious phone calls I've ever had. She is the best. Josh, you're like, #2.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

This Is Just A Test...

Want to test out the functionality of the Facebook Blog Network RSS Feed.

And stuff.

Instead of boring you with solely a test, here's a story untold from the Bruins game the other night. It wasn't withheld on purpose, blame my memory, conscience .... and Samuel Adams.

As we were leaving the Garden, I noticed someone behind me speaking with a British accent. Now, anyone who's ever traveled/got really drunk/traveled whilst drunk with me, knows that alcohol triggers my strong desire to seek out all accents.

I won't bore you with the details of my linguistic prowess, but I'm good with accents and do very well in foreign countries. Its only while drinking that I try to show off my skills in a local setting. Exhibit A: On the cab ride home from Tommy Doyle's one time, I began to speak Creole with our Haitian cabbie (thanks Randolph Public Schools!) Additionally, I spoke (broken) English with a French accent for the entire ride home. I have no idea why.


I hear this British accent behind me leaving the Garden, and, obviously I have to say something.

I say, "Did you have a good time?" (the well-being of visitors in my fair city is very important to me... unless they're Yankee fans.)

And he said he had an excellent time... then i embarrassed myself.

I asked him if he was from Australia.... then South Africa... then finally England. Katelyn got excited because she's a bigger Anglophile than Perez Hilton and kinda saved the conversation, but not to be outdone, I let out this gem,

"Ah, England. Also the origin of Lord Stanley's Cup!"

What the fuck is wrong with me? I mean, it did originate there, but who the hell refers to it as "Lord Stanley's Cup" and brings it up in casual conversation with Britons aside from asshole writers?

Oh, right.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Bruins Blog Project Game 4: 11/8/08 vs. Buffalo Sabres

Final Score: Bruins 3 Buffalo 1
Attended With: Katelyn

Pregame: Part of the reason this blog is a bit late, is that I noticed a sizable crack in my windshield on my way home from work to pick Katelyn up and I've been kinda dealing with that. I did what any New Englander would do if they noticed their windshield busted and called 1-800-54-GIANT. It was done fast, and hopefully done right. I digress...

Windshields notwithstanding, we were off to a good start to gameday. We headed down to the T around 5:30, and as we were crossing Hancock Street, a guy in a white van rolled down his window to say something to us. Unfortunately, he did not offer us candy, but he did ask us if we were going to the Bruins game (I think my jersey and Katelyn's shirt gave it away), then he asked who they were playing and heard they were doing well. It was pretty neat albeit weird. Less than a month ago I was getting dirty stares for wearing a B's jersey, now creeps in vans were stopping me to talk B's. I don't know where this will lead...

My brother's favorite street performer was jamming at the Downtown Crossing Orange Line station, I actually left him a message of her playing, and saw that she's selling CD's. I memorized her name for about 5 minutes (Beth something? Maybe?) for the purposes of further mockery, but I ended up forgetting it. I like beer better than blogging.

Hurricane's for a beer prior to the B's, and to watch Penn State choke away their title hopes.

Inside the Garden was mobbed. For whatever reason, Buffalo fans always crowd the Garden whenever the Bruins play. They were all wearing their horrid Sabres jerseys and singing their stupid "Let's Go Buffalo" chants. I had a bad feeling about these asshole taunting us after a Sabres win. Honestly, looking at everyone and mentally thinking "Scott Norwood" really helped.
As the Sabres were announced and all of the upstaters began to cheer I yelled out, "Get a real city!" I have no fucking idea what it meant, but it made me feel better.

Also had a minor news scoop pre-game. Riding up the escalator, I saw a dude wearing the new Bruins third jersey. For most people, this means nothing, but I'm a huge uniform geek, and it was imperative that I talk to this man. You see, the B's have only "unofficially" unveiled the jersey at the State Of The Bruins event, and it won't be on sale until the end of the month. I snapped a quick pic of the dude, and ran into him a few minutes later. Apparently his brother works for Reebok and was somehow able to buy two jerseys early. Very nice guy, and very stoked about the new 3rd.

I was actually excited about the 3rd jersey, too, which is weird, because I don't like it. In my opinion, it's boring, uninspired and totally devoid of the classic nature that make their primary jerseys tops in the league. Here are some images of the jersey. I love the primary logo, but that's as far as it goes. All black uniforms look pretty stupid, not "badass", would've loved to see a yellow third, or at least some more color involved in this one.


The Game: Great game and a huge one. A Bruins win, coupled with a Habs loss would mean the Bruins would be in first place. The Sabres got on the board first, much to the delight of their strong fanbase in the house. Dennis Wideman answered back a few minutes later and the Bruins never looked back, scoring two more times to make win it 3-1.

The crowd was great, it was a playoff atmosphere for 3 periods again. This is very encouraging for a team that's pretty much ignored by the mainstream media. Much like the "Tuuuuuur-cooooooo" chants from last week, the "Millllllllerrrrrrrrrrrr" chants overtook the house (even when the B's were down 1-0, which was weird.)

Milan "Moses" Lucic was all over the place, hitting everyone (8 hits) and no one would go with him. Kinda weird, considering Buffalo has 3-4 heavyweights on their roster. Of all people, Maxim Afinogenov nearly got into a few scraps, which is ridiculous. He's a finesse forward and he's a Russian. Pretty sure the last Russian to get in a fight was Ivan Drago.

Oh, the inside joke has officially been completed and Katelyn is now the proud owner of a foam Bearclaw. It's parts ridiculous and awesome.

Another post-script to the game action... It was military night and there were many classy tributes to our Armed Services. Aaron Ward even spent $15,000 of his own money to buy 300 seats for servicemen and women. Great move by him. It got a little dusty in their at times.

Post Game: Looked to mix it up a bit, but Fanueil Hall was a clusterfuck. Ended up walking to South Station and headed home, not before drunk dialing and texting several people to let them know about the 1st place Boston Bruins!

(Sorry, for lack of pics and no video. Camera was running on battery fumes. Yea, I suck.)

Bruins Blog Project 1st Star: Chuck Kobasew. Poor bad luck, Chuck. Last year he broke his tibia thanks to a Zdeno Chara slapshot, this year, he breaks his foot in the 1st game of the year. In his first game back, he picked up a goal and an assist, and played gritty all night.

Bruins Blog Project Last Star: The city of Buffalo. Sabres and Bills all falling to local teams in big games this weekend. Ouch.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Woah, When's This Book Coming Out?

I found this randomly today, and it's right by my old neighborhood. Esposito's Gym is the shitty little gym I had a membership to and DePasquale's is literally across the street from my old apartment on Clinton Street. Best subs ever, if you don't mind having your food prepared for you by a member of the Mafia. Does this guy need excerpts from the old House Blog to see what went down in that area? I'd like to consult.

Writer, setting book in Nonantum/Newton seeks your input


Hi - I'm revising a novel that takes place in Newton primarily. My Main character is going to live in Nonantum, where I lived for 4 years after attending BC. CAn you offer any recent happenings there? Do they still paint Adams Street red white and green? Is that for Columbus Day? Is DePasquales still there? What restaurants are on the corner of Watertown street now? Is Esposito's still there? This novel is currently with an agent in NY - its really happening. I just need to make some changes. So, any Nonantum thoughts you can offer? I'd love to hear them! Thanks.


Thursday, November 06, 2008

Josh Has A Blog!

My bud Josh has set up his own blog, probably because he's finished The Shield.

Here it is

Monday, November 03, 2008

Politics Aside, He Tasted Delicious

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Bruins Blog Project Game 3: 11/1/08 vs Dallas Stars

Final Score: Bruins 5 Dallas 1
Attended With: Dave (my brother Dave. For the record, I know about 15 Daves)

Pregame: I have a standard route to the Garden: Red Line->Orange Line->North Station. I avoid the Green because of 80% of the trains stop at Government Center and it's a bitch finding and crowding onto one of the few that heads to North Station. ANOTHER reason I enjoy taking the Orange Line is that you're bound to hear a ridiculously awful street performer at Downtown Crossing. Last week Katelyn and I were treated to this woefully awful woman singing and playing guitar and wouldn't ya know, she was there tonight as well.

The kicker, Dave, who hasn't seen this chick before is cracking up and says she reminds him of Jenny in Forrest Gump. 1 minute later she busts into Blowin' In The Wind, the same song Jenny sang in Gump! Crazy.

We got to the Garden at about 6:15, I had to exchange my my Season Ticket Holder Freebie ticket for another game. 12/8 vs the Lightning Sec. 8 Row 13, baby. We also got those ridiculous fake cardboard goalie masks.

Dave and I meandered around, he's a Celtics STH and this is only his 3rd Bruins game ever. The first one being in 1996 when he was 11, the 2nd being a 1-0 OT loss last year. So, yea, he hasn't seen a Bruins goal in 12 years.

We entered some charity raffle for gift baskets including autographed faux movie posters (Kessel "Catch Me If You Can" and Thomas "300") Who knows if we won.

We took our seats about 10 minutes to 7, waiting for the epic montage and such.

The Game: So far I've been to Opening Night, a game in which my favorite player scored a hat trick and this game. This was by far the best.

Remember how Dave hadn't seen a Bruins goal in 12 years? That changed in minutes. Marco Sturm potted a goal about 2.5 minutes in, it was great to see because he had just been demoted to the third line that night. BTW, our third line is disgusting.

The game was flowing, not as packed as last week, I'd say 14k or so. Bergeron made it 2-1 early in the 2nd, when all hell started to break loose.

Let's just say with about 18 minutes left to go in the 2nd period I received text messages from Steve and Dave B, both along the lines of, "There's going to be a brawl tonight." Ah, they were so right.

For those who don't know much about hockey, Dallas employs two of the biggest douchebags in all of sports, Steve Ott and Sean Avery. I can't really get into the specifics of their douchey tendencies, but let's just say, that they cause a lot of problems, and won't stand up for their actions.

Before the midpoint of the 2nd, Ott had already declined two fights (one involved Sean Thornton punching him in the face while he was holding onto the linesman, the other involved Shane Hnidy dropping his gloves while Ott skated away.)

The crowd was BUZZING by the time the 3rd period rolled around. Everyone knew what was about to go down. It started with Andrew Ference DRILLING Steve Ott at center ice. Just a vicious legal hit by Ference. As the play continued, Ott got up, took a shot on Nokelainen, then Avery skated over to Ference, dropped his gloves, and proceeded to get the snot kicked out of him by Ference (note the 3 rabbit lefts before they fell.) Ference then waved to the crowd after the fight. Just the beginning.

Next up Thornton and Krys Barch. Great fight, Thornton destroyed him with a few shots, but Barch held his own. The crowd was going insane at this point, not only were the fights going down, but the Bruins had potted two more goals. We were kicking their ass physically and on the scoreboard . The Kessel goal was unbelievable, as were the "TUUUUUUURRRRRCCCCOOOOO" chants generated in our section and carrying through the entire stadium.

Finally, the coup de grace; the 5 on 5 line brawl. It started when Lucic was caved in by Avery along the boards, then Marc Savard of all people jumped on Avery and started wailing on him. The best, however, was Shane Hnidy DESTROYING Matt Niskanen. What follows is the full NESN video then my video, you can tell I lost my voice at some point and that I'm very intrigued at what Shane Hnidy is doing to Matt Niskanen's face. I believe 8 people in total were ejected with 10 minute misconducts.

WOW. After the madness, Sturm potted his 2nd of the night and the B's won 5-1. Probably the best game I've ever seen live.

Postgame: The crowd was just so happy following the game. This was old time hockey, old school Big Bad Bruins type shit, and everyone was amped. My brother, who like I said, is not the biggest hockey guy, bought a Bruins hat in between periods and pledged to watch every Bruins game now, and hopefully attend some more. That's how great this game was.

We headed to Sully's Tap after the game because now Hurricane's was rocking a $10 cover. Sully's Tap is probably the most old school bar near the Garden. Walking in is like heading back in a time warp to 1986. I don't really like it for a few reasons, 1) It's narrower than a train, 2) It always smells like hotdogs and shit, but hey, the drinks are cheap.

After a few, we were walking to the T and saw a crowd of autograph seekers waiting for the Bruins to leave the player's parking lot. We saw a car jet out of there (no player in it), and decided to wait around to see at least one car, maybe we'd see someone. All of a sudden a Lexus pulls up and inside of it, Zdeno Chara! Pretty sweet

Following that, we hit the T, helped some Clemson fans in town for the game to get back to Andrew, shot the shit about sports and the following conversation ensued:

Me: We just came back from the hockey game
Older Woman: We don't know much about hockey
Older Man: It's like 2 chicken coops separated, and you gotta keep them outta your chicken coop
Older Woman: Y'al probably don't know what chicken coops are.

Nice. After we got back, myself, Dave, Katelyn, and Scott watched a reshowing of the game. And that's all.

Bruins Blog Project First Star: The crowd. Not huge, but rowdy, supportive and knowledgeable. Bonus to the dudes a few sections down dressed up in Halloween costumes (Dumb & Dumber guys, Ron Burgundy, Champ Kind, etc)

Bruins Blog Project Last Star: Steve Ott. Turtle. Douche. Cheapshot Artist

Monday, October 27, 2008

Bruins Blog Project: Game 2 10/24/08 v.Atlanta

Final Score: Bruins 5 Atlanta 4
Attended With: Katelyn

Pregame: Polar opposite of last game, really. Not much emphasis on pregame and much more on post. We cruised from Wollaston in good time and got to the Garden at about 6:45. They tweaked the intro montage to include the two big hits from Thursday's Leafs game (Wideman's hit on Stajan was in the middle and Lucic's glass shatterer on Van Ryn ended the entire montage. The place went nuts.) Like good Americans, we got beer during the Anthem. Whoops.

The Game: Like I said, polar opposite of Monday's game. The Bruins played like garbage in the first period and the goals were fast and furious. Down 2-0 after 1, most of the building was grumbling. I went on a search for one of those foam bear claw things for Katelyn. It's kind of an inside joke that dates back to Opening Night 2007 and involves frightening a child. I won't go into it. Anyway, they were no where to be found. I walked around the entire Balcony level like an idiot. It was tough maneuvering, especially around the Hungry For Hockey section. That's the all you can eat section of the Garden. It looks like the cleared out a Fan Zone and made a food stand/cafeteria type deal out of it.

Back to the action, the second was a totally different story. Stephane "Old" Yelle(r) actually scored the first Bruins goal on a great tip in. Next up was the man, myth and legend Milan Lucic. Was wide open in the slot and Ryder found him to tie it up. All 3's after 2.

Katelyn will tell you, that after Lucic's second goal, I said, "How about a Milan hat trick?" and sure enough it happened! The place went bonkers. A hat trick, coupled with a game winning goal with under 2 minutes left in the period combined to drive fans into a euphoria.

Once again, here's another video I took:

The Looooooooch chant is really taking off, too. It's the next Youuuuuuuuuk (which was the next Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu [which was the next Drewwwwwwwwwwwww.])

Post-Game: There's nothing like a hapy exiting crowd, things just seem better. A couple of nice guys complimented me on my great game today (I was wearing my Lucic jersey) and we had a laugh.

Then it was off to Hurricane O'Reilly's for post-game drinks, of which I was happy to take part in. We had a good spot watching the Penn St/OSU game until some nerd wearing a full Philadelphia Phillies uniform had the bartender change the channel to the World Series. I checked my watch and noticed that the game didn't start until after 10:00 p.m. and I felt a twinge of horror for all of my FOX co-workers stuck at work until the game ended. We eventually moved to a better area to watch football (not before talking to a real live French Canadian in a Quebec Nordiques shirt!) and left shortly thereafter.

While waiting for the train, there were these 4 dudes playing kick hockey with an empty Mountain Dew bottle. They were all wearing Bruins jerseys (including a Manny Fernandez jersey, wtf?) and, seeing how I was a bit buzzed and had the need to take part in some sort of game, I stood a few feet away and, would you know it, the bottle came to me and I kicked it over to them. I felt like the last kid picked in gym class.

T ride home was uneventful. I may have booed the Ashmont train, but I may just be making that up. I'll have to ask for confirmation. Talked to my brother on the phone who was at USC/Arizona, and hoped for the upset for him then passed out.

Bruins Blog Project First Star: Those of you who frequent Celtics games may know who Soulja Boy, Jr is (LINK) and the Bruins may have found their match. They showed this little kid on the Jumbotron who was probably around 6 years old. The kid popped his shirt off and had a full Bruins logo painted on his chest. It was pretty impressive. He danced and flexed and served as the Bruins Jumbotron mascot all night. I hope he's a fixture.

Bruins Blog Project Last Star: The Harp. I like to go to The Harp after most every Bruins or Celtics game I go to. No, it's not because I'm an alcoholic, it's because I don't like insane crowds. Going to the T after immediately after a game is like taking part in a human cattle call. Going after 1 drink is like being an extra in 28 Days Later. It's a ghost town, and a no-brainer if you hate crowded trains. Anyway, we got in line and found out it's a $10 cover AND you can't wear hats. Most everyone was OK with the cover, but the hat thing was a deal breaker for half the line and a lot of people left. Didn't The Harp realize that 67% of their crowd was heading there directly from a hockey game? What's up with that?

So, it was off to Hurricane's. $5 cover and fucking hats EVERYWHERE.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

In Which I Meet A Blog Fan Who Did Not Give Birth To Me

With apologies to Lita Ford, I went to a party last Saturday night (I didn't get laid, I got in a fight.) and I happened to run into a fan of this very blog. This does not happen very often, unless I'm looking into a mirror, or I've been invited to my parent's house for dinner.

Naturally, I was pleased.

So, a shoutout to Nagle, who was kind enough to tell me good things about myself and who I may or may not travel with as my inspirational spirit motivational guide.

Then, we got shitfaced and he gave me 401k advice (which is how all 401k advice should be given these days.)

So Nagle, I promise to post more, and I promise you are way better than this Nagle:

Friday, October 24, 2008

For Those Who Question My Milan Lucic Man-Crush

Here is an actual man crush

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Bruins Blog Project: Game 1 10/20/08 v. Pittsburgh

Final Score: Penguins 2, Bruins 1 (SO)
Attended With:
Co-Season Ticket Holders Jon, Steve & Chris; Dave B.

Pregame: Pregame took on a whole new meaning as this was the home opener for the Bruins. We had found out more than 5 months ago that we had become season ticket holders, so this was a long time coming. The plan was to hit Fan Fest, which began at 4:30, mostly to pick up the t-shirt, then fuel up on beer and food at a Canal Street locale of our choosing (Hurricane O'Reilly's) before making it in.

I don't think I've ever headed down to a game this early, as I donned my Lucic jersey and left my apartment at 3:40. I got some weird looks as I walked down to the Wollaston T, especially outside of the Hancock Tavern and Alumni Cafe. I don't think people are ready for hockey season one day after ALCS Game 7. Whatever, it's helping me get over that loss.

Met up with Dave and Steve on the line for Fan Fest. Very impressive line formed, a few hundred deep before 4:30. We got in and got a pretty sick free t-shirt. Bruins' theme this year is "We Want It Just As Bad As You," and the shirt plays off that theme. Whatever, it beats, "It's Called Bruins." I still don't even know what that means.

The rest of Fan Fest was pretty par for the course (aside from the giant Patrice Bergeron ice sculpture. Sweet!) They had some booths were you could shoot some street hockey balls (at pedestrians, it seemed) and sign up for free shit. We were also graced with a performance by one of the worst cover bands I'd ever heard, One Night Stand. Good god... Actually Bad god. They were terrible.

Once Jon hooked up with us we headed to Hurricane's by about 5:15. We beat the crowd which never happens and had beers (no pitchers?!), burgers and our bill paid by 6:15. Very clutch on our part. Then it was off to our seats! (But not before picking up our second freebie, thundersticks with lights inside of them [weak sauce])

Love section 308. We are in the end zone, so you can see a lot of particulars of the game that someone like me, who never played, likes to pick up. The breakout, the changes, the outlets, etc. Section was pretty packed and spirited, we have some rowdy sections along with us.

Pre-game intros were great. Patrice Bergeron's ovation was nearly the loudest I'd ever heard the Garden. Additionally, they forgot to announce Mark Stuart which was pretty hilarious. He took it well and got a great ovation.

The Game: This post is pretty pre-game centric, because of the nature of things, but the game was fairly uneventful. We were switching seats a bunch, too. We had a few extras near us and since we only own 2 seats and came with 5 guys, we did some mixing and matching.

The "Hall Gill sucks" chants were unbelievable. Because he does. Two guys behind us were getting pissy at us when we stood during breakaways and close plays in front of our own net. I'm sorry, but I imagine they'll get a better view in their living room. Additionally, they smelled really bad.

Dave and Steve got caught on the Jumbotron. Actually, Jon did, too. Nice to know we'll have a cameraguy handy.

Speaking of the Jumbotron, captured this video, which I thought was utterly mindblowing. Arcade Fire and Boston Bruins. Two of my greatest loves, together at last??

Strangely, first shootout I'd ever witnessed. B's were a few inches from finishing and winning their home opener, especially after soundly outplaying the Pens. I really look forward to watching this team through the year. They're going to seriously make some noise.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

In Honor Of Bruins-Habs Tonight...

Monday, October 13, 2008

Bruins Blog Project

Most of you know, that I became a Bruins Season Ticket Holder this year. I split 2 seats 4 ways with 3 other friends. That's a lot of numbers. Basically, I own 2 seats to 10 games this year, and as you may have seen from my ticket draft post, I got awesome games. I'm also going to opening night and another game via the ST's, not to mention any other game Jon, Chris or Steve decide to bring me to.

So, I'm going to recap everyone of these games right here the next day (so, very likely.) Who I went with, where we imbibed before hand, and all the other pertinent minutiae of attending a game (because I never have anyone to tell when I see random stuff, like people wearing misspelled P.J. Axelsson jerseys.)

Opening Night is 10/20. Stay tuned.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Halloween Costume Ideas: 2008 Edition

It's time for my bi-annual Halloween costume ideas post! Why bi-annual? Because I got entirely lazy last year and didn't post anything. But here's 2006 for a refresher, all costumes aside from John Mark Karr may still be applicable.

My theory is that a good costume should be in one of the following categories: newsworthy, nostalgic or pop culture. This flies against the 'sexy anything' rule that some girls follow i.e. "sexy cat", "sexy ladybug", "sexy person without creativity." It also limits those pre-packaged Halloween costumes that people are so wont to spend way too much money on (full disclosure: I once bought a pre-packaged "Hugh Hefner" smoking jacket and pipe to become "Hef Israel", I was rewarded with the infamous Halloween blackout of 2002 and vowed to never do it again.)

This is just my opinion, but you should have as much fun making your Halloween costume as you do getting blackout drunk in your Halloween costume.

1) Sarah Palin-osauraus

Why: Face it, EVERYONE is going to be Sarah Palin, so you might as well put your own spin on it. Being a brunette of questionable eyesight does not a costume make. Short of up-doin'g a pig mask with some lipstick, this is your best bet.

What You Need: Aside from the obvious Palin accoutrement (liptick, glasses, up-do, business suit), you'll need some styrofoam or cardboard scales running down your spine. A tail is optional, but vicious fangs are a must.

Additional Accessories: Baby dinosaur; mutilated corpse of Putin-osauraus

2) Werewolf Bar-Mitzvah

Why: Perhaps the funniest 6.5 seconds in recent television history that did not involve a Bluth.

What You Need: Werewolf make-up, yarmulke, recreation of Tallit (note: You can go with a real one, if you're down with sacrilege and all of that.)

Additional Accessories: "I Danced My Pants Off At Remus Lupin's Bar Mitzvah" commemorative boxer shorts

3) Frank Caliendo

Why: Because who can't get enough of Frank Caliendo? If pulling off this costume, it'd be best to hype some sort of event to partygoers for the duration of the party and not perform said event until everyone has left.

What You Need: 1 good impression, 7 bad impressions, sports coat + striped shirt.

Additional Accessories: Terry Bradshaw

4) Pete Doherty

Why: Much like Palin, Amy Winehouse will be a hot costume this year. Why not go as her taller counterpart in drug indulgence, Pete Doherty?

What You Need: Pork Pie hat, disheveled suit, fucked up teeth, bags of questionable powdery substance, blood-filled syringe.

Additional Accesories: Unfinished love letter to Carl Barat; Kate Moss; more bags of questionable powdery substance.

Bonus!: Some costumes allow you to act the part. For example, if you were dressed up as either Cookie Monster or Delta Burke, you have free range to gorge on cookies at an unmatched pace all night, whether they are yours or the party host's. All is fair game. Dressing up like Petey allows you to stumble over everything and everyone all night to no consequence, bag models and steal the host's belongings to pawn for heroin.

5) The McPoyle's

Why: It's hard to find a good couples costume and here's one that works for almost any pairing. A boyfriend and girlfriend could go as Ryan and Margaret McPoyle, two friends or a gay couple could go as Ryan and Liam McPoyle. It's multi-faceted. Plus, robes are comfy.

What You Need: Robes, uni-brows, shared towel, long nightshirt (for Margaret), milk.

Additional Accessories: Fork for stabbing, friend dressed as Greenman.

So that's that, feel free to leave additional costume ideas in the comments and I shall too, if I think of any (which I won't.)

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Behold Fake Youkilis.

Sure he's just a bald guy with a brush-like reddish goatee, but something about him just says "Youkilis". In retrosepect, I think it was all of the swearing.

(This vid was post-Lowrie hit, right before we hightailed it home)

Monday, October 06, 2008


Strangely, this'll be my first time at a baseball playoff game. Been to B's, C's and Pats playoff tilts, but never the Sox. Very excited despite the shitty SRO's scored.

Will be quite the late night, especially based on the previous games. Only one ended before 1 a.m. (just barely) and that game started at 7:27. Random 8:37 start tonight, and hopefully Lester and Lackey both pitch as brilliantly as Game 1.

Go Sox!
Jeff Goes To Astoria, Ragtag Goes To Blogspot, Los Angeles

It's no secret that I'm on 'Team Ragtag'. Ragtag is comprised of some of my best college chums and I've enjoyed watching them succeed. That said, I hadn't seen these guys in years, sure we all talk lots via the intrawebs, morse code and such, but I hadn't seen Brian or Steve since graduation, and Angel one year later. So, I did what any absentee friend SHOULD have done years prior, go visit and get blindingly drunk.

Headed up to good old Astoria, Queens, New York, America, The World a few weeks ago to stay at casa Amyot/Acevedo where we went out to the infamous Bohemian Beer Garden. It was quite the shit show, full of beer, brats, old friends, new friends, Tibetan Monks, and debates about Street Figher II (Guile>everyone).

As you can see from the photos below, it was quite the night. Angel has this mythical ability to accurately depict how drunk everyone is by making the shots blurrier and blurrier. This may actually be because he cannot stand straight at the time, but the jury is still out.

Additionally, I got to meet Patrick "Tom" Cohen and Evan "Rod" Bass, two amazingly fun, nice, hilarious dudes.

So why this long blog entry? Well, to showcase another Ragtag endeavor; their move to Los Angeles! The Angel, Brian, Steve and Tom are moving to LA very shortly and will be docublogging the whole thing on their brand spankin new Blogger blog.

So follow their journeys cross country and keep on supporting them, good things are afoot:

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Examining The AL Playoffs Using The Always Sunny In Philadelphia Paragon Paradigm

It's not always wise to examines aspects of your life based on lessons levied in Always Sunny In Philadelphia. It could lead you drop acid whilst tailgating, date local rappers of questionable scholastic aptitude, or lie to your friends about having cancer.

However, there is one lesson that can be applied to a real life scenario; The Always Sunny/Ghostbusters Paradigm. Take a look at how it plays into the American League Playoff Scenario:

The Brains/The Muscle: The Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim:

Their lineup is a combination of brute force and savvy situational hitting. Scioscia and Artie Moreno constructed a great team and added even more power by trading for Teixeira even while up 13 games on the competition. Not sure how they'd do with a samurai sword.

The Looks: Tampa Bay Rays:

Young, fast and a sexy pick. Not quite as prone to pop their shirt off as, say, the Brewers (or Rex), but they have a bird that won't quit. Additionally, their stadium looks like a nipple.

The Girl Who Does Nothing: The Chicago White Sox

Substitute "Chicago White Sox" for "Sweet Dee" in all of the episode titles. Nothing really changes. The Chicago White Sox Date A Retarded Guy? I'd buy it. Frank Sets The Chicago White Sox On Fire? Seems reasonable. Enjoy Tampa.

Wild Card: The Boston Red Sox

For literal and figurative reasons, the Boston Red Sox are absolutely capable of anything. They could rattle off 11 straight wins or get swept. I would not be surprised by either. As long as they don't cut the brakes of the bandwagon while trying to Feeeeeeeeeeeeel You Up. Wild Card Bitches

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Brings Whole New Meaning To The Pine Tar Incident.

With thanks (or blame) to Dave Willer

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Season Ticket Holder Draft

Went in on 2 season tickets for the Bruins this year with 3 friends. If you're doing the math at home we each get 2 seats to 10 games each, plus we're all going to the Home Opener.

How do we choose the games we're going to? Well a nerdy season ticket holders draft of course. We held it at my buddy Singer's house before the Pats-Jets and made a whole BeerBQ out of it.

Like I said, it was nerdy, and we planned accordingly with a banner:

And a homemade game schedule

I had first pick via the lottery and my first pick was:

It was all pretty ridiculously hardcore. I had a full on draft ranking system and there were lots of lulls. None worthy of any Minnesota Viking-esque pick hopping. But there was a lot of debate. Even a Passover induced Canadiens game swappage. (Singer was clearly the least prepared. The Matt Millen of the draft, as it were)

And that's that. Here's the list of games I got. I did damn well:

  • 10/20 v Pittsburgh
  • 11/29 v Detroit
  • 11/1 v Dallas
  • 1/13 v Montreal
  • 11/8 v Buffalo
  • 3/3 v Philadelphia
  • 1/19 v St. Louis
  • 10/25 v Atlanta
  • 1/27 v Washington
  • 3/31 v Tampa Bay
  • 3/12 v Ottawa

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

DeSean Jackson: Please Fuck Yourself (At Least Until This Sunday)

My quest for the worst possible opening to a Fantasy Football season continues. First, my starting QB and #1 draft pick (5th overall) goes down with a season ending injury 8 minutes into Game 1. Next, my suicide pool pick Jacksonville can't beat a Tennessee team whose QB tandem has been described in the past with the following terms: suicidal, racist, quixotic, alcoholic.

Then, well, this happened:

Fortunately, things most assuredly can't get worse. I think.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

He's Baaaaack

Ah, playoff season!

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

New Mitch Hedberg!

Excited to DL this when I get home and stop sobbing about Tom Brady for about 40 minutes.
We Need Girlfriends Update

I was pleasantly surprised to see a new bit of WNG news as I picked up my Variety at the doorstep today. It was almost enough to get me to stop crying about Tom Brady's knee. Almost.

Martin, Schiff join CBS' 'Girlfriends'

'Cavemen' vets named series' showrunners

Bill Martin and Mike Schiff ("Grounded for Life") have been named exec producer-showrunners of CBS comedy project "We Need Girlfriends."

Also Monday, Fox gave a pilot order to the tentatively titled "Eva Adams," Kevin Falls' take on the Argentine telenovela "Lalola."

Martin and Schiff join "We Need Girlfriends" under their recently signed overall deal with Sony Pictures TV, which is behind the laffer.

Based on a series of YouTube videos, "We Need Girlfriends" centers on three recent college grads who enter the Gotham dating scene after all of their girlfriends dump them at once.

Sony-based Darren Star is also exec producing. Steven Tsapelas, Angel Acevedo and Brian Amyot created the original Web series. Dennis Erdman and Clark Petersen are also attached.

Besides "Grounded for Life," Martin and Schiff's credits include "Cavemen" and "3rd Rock From the Sun."

As for "Eva Adams," the hourlong project revolves around a womanizing lothario who somehow turns into a woman -- and learns what it's like to experience the kind of abuse he used to dole out. Project is set in the world of sports management in addition to fashion.

Falls wrote the adaptation and will exec produce; Jamie Tarses is also exec producer. Sony Pictures TV is behind the project, which is based on the Dori Media Intl. format. Fox had previously picked up the project as a put pilot; new move bumps it up to full-fledged pilot status.

Dori Media Group began pitching the format in the fall as a "new type of telenovela," eschewing the genre's usual rich-poor love story in favor of something more contemporary and faster-paced (Daily Variety, Sept. 1).

"Lalola," which originally aired on Argentina's America TV, is also being adapted locally for TV in the Philippines.

Other projects in the works at Fox include the musically driven entry "Glee"; Sam Baum entry "Lie to Me," starring Tim Roth; the Paul Attanasio drama "Courtroom K"; the space thriller "Virtuality"; the comedy "Boldly Going Nowhere"; the Wilmer Valderrama vehicle "The Emancipation of Ernesto"; and the Shaun Cassidy entry "Inseparable."

Pretty sick news. Brian totally got the shaft on the hyperink, though.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Sometimes An Old Thing Can Make You Feel Young

Remember this? Probably a familiar sight to everyone in college between '04 and '06. Probably a strange sight to all of those people's co-workers.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

In Retrospect, This Makes Total Sense

Came across this on CollegeHumor while trying to forget how old I am.

My roommate in Orientation was a pretty creepy dude. Nice enough in Orientation-terms but once the world was opened up to people beyond one-eighth of the freshman class, his weirdness shone. If my memory serves he was kind of like Dwight Schrute with a black belt.

Oh, and just to show how old I am... I was on's list of first ever Campus Reps. Then they never sent me anything. Could you imagine if my talents ended up over there? They missed out on one good column every 7 months.


Friday, August 29, 2008

Who Wore the Tie Better: Me or Obama?

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Good News For People Who Like Bad News

I'll be blogging more once I move next week.

Saturday, August 09, 2008

My Favorite Canadians List - Post Krug/Bay Weekend

After the events of last weekend I've finally been able to rework my list of Favorite Canadians. Jason Bay's scorching Red Sox debut helped his cause but not as much as Wolf Parade's killer set helped Spencer Krug. Also factoring, my first viewing of the trailer for "Nick And Norah's Infinite Playlist" and falling asleep to Arrested Development DVD's every night for the past 2 years.

1. Milan Lucic - I wouldn't be a true fan of Boston hockey if I didn't love the play of Milan Lucic. He plays hard, kicks peoples' asses, and seems like a pretty funny dude. It also helps to picture Ike Brovlovski saying, "Yay, Milan!" after he scores goals.

2. The Collective Consciousness Of the Arcade Fire - Sure they're from all over, but collectively they are an entirely Canadian band. Like indie-rock Voltron. Or not. I love them.

3. Michael Cera - Not really sure where to begin, or if I even have to explain myself. Arrested Development. Clark and Michael. Superbad. Juno. Whatever he's in, it rules.

4. Spencer Krug - The Wolf Parade show on Saturday was fucking awesome in part due to the awesome vocal stylings of Krug. The guy's a force and I immediately bought Sunset Rubdown tickets for September after the show (that's Krug's other band.) I also had a fanboy run-in moment with Krug at the Paradise Rock Club before the show. I was alone near the merch tent in the front hallway and Krug came walking out to look outside, he then turned out and walked back down the long hallway towards me. The entire time I was thinking of what I would say to him (Went from, "Hey Spencer"->"Have a good show"->"Hey"->:knowing head nod pending eye contact:) Naturally, no eye contact was made, and I just stood against the wall, flustered. I'll rectify this at the Middle East next month, where acts just walk around all the time. Plus, I'm pretty sure my girlfriend wants to hug him.

5. Will Arnett - Come on!

Honorable Mention: Jason Bay, Marc Savard, Tim Riggins

Civilian Canucks were not included in this poll.