Friday, October 10, 2008

Halloween Costume Ideas: 2008 Edition

It's time for my bi-annual Halloween costume ideas post! Why bi-annual? Because I got entirely lazy last year and didn't post anything. But here's 2006 for a refresher, all costumes aside from John Mark Karr may still be applicable.

My theory is that a good costume should be in one of the following categories: newsworthy, nostalgic or pop culture. This flies against the 'sexy anything' rule that some girls follow i.e. "sexy cat", "sexy ladybug", "sexy person without creativity." It also limits those pre-packaged Halloween costumes that people are so wont to spend way too much money on (full disclosure: I once bought a pre-packaged "Hugh Hefner" smoking jacket and pipe to become "Hef Israel", I was rewarded with the infamous Halloween blackout of 2002 and vowed to never do it again.)

This is just my opinion, but you should have as much fun making your Halloween costume as you do getting blackout drunk in your Halloween costume.

1) Sarah Palin-osauraus

Why: Face it, EVERYONE is going to be Sarah Palin, so you might as well put your own spin on it. Being a brunette of questionable eyesight does not a costume make. Short of up-doin'g a pig mask with some lipstick, this is your best bet.

What You Need: Aside from the obvious Palin accoutrement (liptick, glasses, up-do, business suit), you'll need some styrofoam or cardboard scales running down your spine. A tail is optional, but vicious fangs are a must.

Additional Accessories: Baby dinosaur; mutilated corpse of Putin-osauraus

2) Werewolf Bar-Mitzvah

Why: Perhaps the funniest 6.5 seconds in recent television history that did not involve a Bluth.

What You Need: Werewolf make-up, yarmulke, recreation of Tallit (note: You can go with a real one, if you're down with sacrilege and all of that.)

Additional Accessories: "I Danced My Pants Off At Remus Lupin's Bar Mitzvah" commemorative boxer shorts

3) Frank Caliendo

Why: Because who can't get enough of Frank Caliendo? If pulling off this costume, it'd be best to hype some sort of event to partygoers for the duration of the party and not perform said event until everyone has left.

What You Need: 1 good impression, 7 bad impressions, sports coat + striped shirt.

Additional Accessories: Terry Bradshaw

4) Pete Doherty

Why: Much like Palin, Amy Winehouse will be a hot costume this year. Why not go as her taller counterpart in drug indulgence, Pete Doherty?

What You Need: Pork Pie hat, disheveled suit, fucked up teeth, bags of questionable powdery substance, blood-filled syringe.

Additional Accesories: Unfinished love letter to Carl Barat; Kate Moss; more bags of questionable powdery substance.

Bonus!: Some costumes allow you to act the part. For example, if you were dressed up as either Cookie Monster or Delta Burke, you have free range to gorge on cookies at an unmatched pace all night, whether they are yours or the party host's. All is fair game. Dressing up like Petey allows you to stumble over everything and everyone all night to no consequence, bag models and steal the host's belongings to pawn for heroin.

5) The McPoyle's

Why: It's hard to find a good couples costume and here's one that works for almost any pairing. A boyfriend and girlfriend could go as Ryan and Margaret McPoyle, two friends or a gay couple could go as Ryan and Liam McPoyle. It's multi-faceted. Plus, robes are comfy.

What You Need: Robes, uni-brows, shared towel, long nightshirt (for Margaret), milk.

Additional Accessories: Fork for stabbing, friend dressed as Greenman.

So that's that, feel free to leave additional costume ideas in the comments and I shall too, if I think of any (which I won't.)

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