The Simpsons Movie

Got an advanced screening pass to see The Simpsons Movie tonight, thanks to good ole' Uncle Rupert. Turns out WBCN gave out hundreds of passes to the same screening making it a clusterfuck of epic proportions.

Thankfully myself, and three of the biggest Simpson fans I know (Ryan, Chaves and Tino) headed into Fenway Theatres early enough to snag good seats. In fact, finding any seats, good or not, was lucky. Apparently there were a few hundred people who didn't get in. Oh well.

The movie kicks off with a bang but, expectedly gets a little slow towards the end. Some great in-jokes (the ticker, to be continued) and an amazing cameo (Tom Hanks) really keep it going. Seeing how the show is only good for one or two laughs per episode these days, the fact that they made a damn good feature length movie is impressive.

That's my spolier-less review. I give it a 7.5/10. Don't forget to stay through the credits.

The News Keeps On Rollin...

My publicist Josh (that's a complete lie, by the way, I have never really done anything worth publicizing, not including my turn as Aesop in Ms. Gaudette's 3rd grade production of Aesop's Fables) has been working the phones, manning the intrawebs ,tapping out the Morse codes all the way in England, trying to make this Bang Camaro challenge happen. And oh does he have some good news for us!

According to Bang Camaro's publicist (their actual publicist), the band will be back in our studios sometime in October for the challenge. This follows a photo shoot for Rolling Stone and a bunch of other shows. Holy shit.

Bring it on, motherfuckers!

New Project: Revealed

That new project I've been slaving over starting a new gmail and blogger account for is complete.

I present you with

There Is Such Thing As A Stupid Question

Enjoy, and please, for the love of god, help me out.

I haven't been around much as I've been getting to some super secret business, but expect some new goodness soon. How about a review of The Simpsons: Movie tomorrow? I've corralled some sneak peek passes, check out the tickets!

Harry Potter V

For all the reasons I disliked the book Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix, I loved the movie.

It's easily the best movie of the series (in contention with Azkaban). Goblet Of Fire was OK, but the watered down plot was such copout bullshit it's not even funny.

I can't believe I'm blogging about Harry Potter and not my challenge with Bang Camaro/My super secret nwe project I'm working on/the strong possibility I may get a press pass for Austin City Limits Music Festival.

What a dork.

This 4 Minute Video Is Better Than The Entirety Of 'Transformers'

Mike came back from Wisconsin today and showed me this video. It's the greatest YouTube clip of all time (with apologies to We Need Girlfriends). Eject, Operation Beth Shut The Fuck Up!

Danny Ainge's Fascination With Robert Swift And His Shiny Red Hair Makes Much More Sense Now

Trying To Review 'Transformers'

I saw Transformers today with Katelyn and Steve. It was a big day, not just because my second favorite childhood toy (C'mon Teddy Ruxpin feature length!) became iconized on the big screen, but also, it was my first time at the AMC Premium Theatre and Grill.

For those out of the loop, this is the luxury theatre in Framingham that comes with leather seats, a fully catered menu, a stocked bar, and free popcorn and soda. Also, it's 21+ so there are no screaming kids or annoying tweens throwing shit and laughing at trailers for 'Delta Farce'. Basically it's heaven on Earth.

I guess that would quantify my review for the theatre. Pretty damn amazing, though, there were some projector problems that made for a barely noticeable light effect on the screen which ultimately resulted in the three of us getting free passes for next time.

The movie, well I don't really know where to start. Transformers were, like, THE toy I collected growing up. I love them. All this despite recent candid comments from my Mom who told me that I was too retarded to 'transform' them by myself and she had to help me. Whatever.

I can't tell if this movie was funny, or unintentionally funny. There were all these creepily weird parts. The WEIRDEST being the end when Shia Lebouf starts making out with brunette protagonist chick (I have no idea what her, or anyone aside from Lebouf's character names were) on top of BumbleBee. If the thought of this chick getting Lebouf'D on top of a car that comes to life and is a living, breathing, friend of theirs isn't weird enough, the camera pans off to show the rest of the Autobots watching them! All the while, Optimus Prime is delivering a monologue about how the Autobots will stay on Earth, protecting and 'watching you, even though you may not know it'. WHAT THE FUCK. Autobots are fucking pervs.

There are other weird parts, like the fact that they let a foreigner be an integral part of the U.S. Dept. of Defense (who Katelyn says wears a very unrealistic outfit), everything about John Turturro, and Shia 'Sam Witwicky' Lebouf being angered over brunette protagonist chick not telling him she had a juvenile record, despite them knowing eachother for a total of 2 days.

What a weird movie:

jEfFENIXtx6: i think michael bay movies are getting worse
jEfFENIXtx6: im not surprised
jEfFENIXtx6: but, they just are
jEfFENIXtx6: it's like noticing a heroin addict getting skinnier or something
Ryan: but are they getting louder--that's the better question
jEfFENIXtx6: not noticeably :(

Ryan: you know he started out with playboy videos?
jEfFENIXtx6: really? not surprising
Ryan : http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0471307/
Ryan: can't make that stuff up
jEfFENIXtx6: frankly, it explains alot
Ryan: indeed
jEfFENIXtx6: im seeing miss October '89 walking out of a fighter jet as a camera slow pans around the hatch
jEfFENIXtx6: THEN BLAM!
jEfFENIXtx6: Bruce Willis gives his life for her career

Exciting News On The Bang Camaro Front

Newer blog readers may be confused about what this proposed 'Bang Camaro' deal is all about. Here's the long and the short of it. Actually, it's just the short of it.

A month ago, I challenged Bang Camaro to come back on the FOX25 Morning News to play me in their own song on Guitar Hero 2. They accepted (the video's a few posts down somewhere). To my knowledge, and to anyone's knowledge really, this has never been done before (honestly, I think I'd remember if David Bowie played Ziggy Stardust on a fucking plastic Gibson SG with color coded buttons).

Anyway, I was getting kinda down on the whole thing because the band didn't seem to into it. Their publicist was, and some Boston area newspapers are just waiting for the whole thing to come to fruition, but I couldn't get the band to extrapolate on the thing (aka talk shit to me via the blog). It sort of soured my training, too.

You see, I'm fucking terrible at Push Push (Lady Lightning) on 'Hard'. It's REALLY hard. But I haven't been doing any training because I thought BC wasn't into the thing. Then I got encouraging news.

Bang Camaro was playing a show in Chicago tonight (7/1) and I had some spies attending. The following correspondence was from a buddy of mine at my favorite music dork message board on the intrawebs (that will remain nameless):

good news for you, Jeff!
your Guitar Hero challenge is still on
just got back from Bang Camaro
what a fun show, really enjoyed it
i spoke w/ McClain briefly afterwards
told him i had a question for him, from (you) at FoxNews in Boston
"is 'the Challenge' still on??"
he knew right away what i meant by that, smiled kinda sheepishly and said yes, it's still on
but they've been really busy
he said they're all really bad at that game but he's still looking forward to it

Fucking awesome! Training is back on, fully. I'm sure my girlfriend is enthused at the idea.

Meantime, thanks to everyone for digging through the archives following heads up from team We Need Girlfriends. I got an IM from my former resident Zoe who says, "everyone knows my blog". This is fucking astonishing considering I've neglected it more than wrote in it. Still knowing people read it is as good motivation as any. Well, not as good as knowing that I'm going to dominate Bang Camaro's collective faces off.

I feel like we should make a wager. I win, I'm in the band. They win, they get to work at Fox ........ well I don't have any suggestions. Maybe YOU do.

Leave some comments. Please. I'm lonely.

We Need Girlfriends: Episode 9 - The Morning After.

Enjoy, kiddos