Monday, December 25, 2006

A Lonely Jew On Christmas

I have to work tonight, which you'd think wouldn't be a big deal seeing how I'm Jewish, but it's pretty much a bummer.

Christmas is a pretty big day for Jews, too. Not religiously, but activity-wise. Everyone has their own traditions and so do I.

The imitable Jon JP Prag founded "A Very Jewish Christmas" a few years ago and it's a pretty big hit. The basic premise is to do what all Jews do on Xmas (eat chinese food, watch movies, gamble) but Jon organizes it in a way like no other.

Here's this year's tentative schedule from the evite:

Foxwoods in the morning for those who can make it!
Time: TBA-2:00pm

Dreidel for Money
Time: 4:30pm

China Town Canton/Stoughton
Time: 6:00pm Check-in (we will have to wait about an hour)

Movie (****TAKE THE POLL****)
Time: After diner

Rocky Balboa - A computer simulation says Rocky can beat the current champ. Can he?!?!

Night at the Museum – Ben Stiller is a night watchman at a museum where everything comes to life to chase him. And he may even trip on something!

Children of Men – Humanity is on the brink of extinction and only one woman can get pregnant. Kind of sexy!

Dreamgirls – Jamie Fox brings a group of singers to the top of the charts. I swear it isn’t about the Supremes… REALLY!

The Pursuit of Happyness – Will Smith is a down-on-his luck dad trying to land a job as Wall Street trader. Little does he know it’s really a cold-call sales position!

Please forward this invitation on to people whose e-mail addresses I don't have!!!

And a reminder: no Christians please! Anyone who brings one will be crucified with them.

And their are even poems involved

Deck the halls with Jewish splendor
Fa-la-la-la-la, oy-oy-oy-vay
'Tis the day we Jews meander
Fa-la-la-la-la, oy-oy-oy-vay
Once, we had nothing to do
Fa-la-la-la-la, oy-oy-oy-vay
Now this day is built for me and you
Fa-la-la-la-la, oy-oy-oy-vay

First we’ll have a little gambling
Fa-la-la-la-la, oy-oy-oy-vay
Follow that up with dreidel dancing
Fa-la-la-la-la, oy-oy-oy-vay
Then it’s the good ‘ol Chinese food
Fa-la-la-la-la, oy-oy-oy-vay
Finish it with a movie that’s good
Fa-la-la-la-la, oy-oy-oy-vay

It’s been our tradition for ten years past
Fa-la-la-la-la, oy-oy-oy-vay
The fun we have is unsurpassed
Fa-la-la-la-la, oy-oy-oy-vay
And finally we can all say with class
Fa-la-la-la-la, oy-oy-oy-vay
This is a Very Jewish Christmas!
Fa-la-la-la-la, oy-oy-oy-vay

I'm dreaming of a Very Jewish Christmas
Just like the ones we have come to love and know
Though the goyim would like us to christen
The Chinese people would listen
To our need to eat food that does not blow

I'm dreaming of a Very Jewish Christmas
With Chanukah candles to light
May your movie screen be lit up bright
And may all your casinos payout without a fight

I'm dreaming of a Very Jewish Christmas
It's become our true holiday tradition
Bring all those who aren't Christian
Especially those who would be a new addition

Gambling, Chinese food and a movie...
That is a Very Jewish Christmas!!

So, with regrets, I can't make it this year, thanks to the Liberal Jewish Media calling my name again. This is a shame because I usually end up having a good time, watching a semi good movie (except the time we saw Paycheck), getting mildly fucked up, and eating the best Chinese food the South Shore has to offer.

Bah Humbug indeed
YouTube Clip Of The Day

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