Monday, February 26, 2007

Vote Or Die, Motherfucker

You may have noticed that I enjoy bringing you clips from my friends' web series "We Need Girlfriends". My only critique, among others, is that it's not long enough. And, it's not their fault, it's tough putting together a 30 minute sitcom in between full time jobs and all that nonsense.

But now, you, the blogoshphere inhabitant have a chance to change that.

A message from the WNG Team:

ONLY 2 DAYS LEFT TO VOTE. VOTING ENDS ON WEDNESDAY!!!!!!

"We Need Girlfriends" has recently been entered into a TV pilot contest on the site ziddio.com. The grand prize could change our lives: $50,000 to produce a full-length "We Need Girlfriends" pilot.

Seeing as how our budget is usually somewhere around $200 dollars per episode, you can see how huge this would be for us.

So, what we're saying is, we need you to rate our video the highest. You'll have to take a couple of minutes to register on the site, but we kindly ask you to please take these couple of minutes and do so. It could change the course of "We Need Girlfriends" forever. Who knows? With your help instead of a monthly webseries, maybe this could be a weekly TV show.

Please do this. Please tell your friends to do this. Follow this link: rate our video 5 out of 5!

Sincerely,

Angel, Brian, Evan, Patrick, Seth and Steven (The "We Need Girlfriends"
Guys)


Here is a direct link to their video so you can vote.

So vote early and often..... or else...

South Park: Vote Or Die!

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Sunday, February 25, 2007

Live From New York, My DVR Is Completely Fucking Shocked

I just had to record Saturday Night Live last night.

Anytime the host is one of the top 10 TV characters in the past 10 years (Rainn Wilson) and the band is in your top 3 favorite of all time (Arcade Fire), it, much like pimpin', ain't easy, but it's necessary.

When I scheduled the DVR to record it on Friday, it practically shot a "Seriously?!" back at me. I don't blame it, SNL hasn't been funny since, well, before DVR's came into our life. With that in mind, I made a few adult beverages (figuring SNL could use all the help it got) and actually watched the show live.

Loved the cold open for a few reasons. First and foremost, The Situation Room rules. Second and aftmost(?), I was completely fed up with all of the Anna Nicole coverage . Rainn Wilson was great, per usual.

The opening credits. I like the new (to me?) opening sequence. Aside from Amy Poehler, Andy Samberg, Darrell Hammond, Maya Rudolph Kenan Thompson and Will Forte, I have no idea who these people are.

The monologue was kickass. The chick who played Pam (who did nothing near remotely funny for the remainder of the episode) and the dude who played Jim (who I didn't recognize for the rest of the episode) were tremendous. They needed a black dude to play Stanley so they called on Kenan who wasnt seen or heard from until an hour later when they needed a black dude to play Samuel L Jackson (good work by Kenan. He peaked in Mighty Ducks 2). The only thing missing from the sketch was Creed stealing shit in the background. Too bad.



Following that was an opening sketch with some good laughs. Nothing mind blowing, but it was pretty funny. "His pee came out of my nose".

Then came a hilarious SNL Digital Short. It's so weird seeing a Digital Short as the second sketch in an SNL broadcast, but when you think about it, in the past year, have you heard a buzz about an SNL sketch that wasn't a Digital Short? Me neither.



Weird accents + weird chairs + mispronunciation of name + weird lavatory = Nunni Nunni sketch.

I laughed last night, but I was pretty buzzed. Rewatching this morning proved it to be terrible. Thankfully it was shorter than most.

Wooo Intervention!



Weekend Update: Pretty funny until the terrible, terrible, horrible, atrocious, terrible Aunt Judy thing. That was probably the worst piece of shit comedy I've ever seen (and I saw Dirty Work in theatres). Basically a rip-off of Mad TV which is kind of like the New York Times ripping off the National Inquirer.

Hey look, they let Kenan do a sketch again!!

Blah

Blah

Blah

Keep The Car Running!

Saturday, February 24, 2007

I'm Sorry Bartendress, But Kings Is Still Better

Last night my buddy Jon and I met up with our friend Dave and some of his college friensd at Jillian's. The plan was to go bowling at Lucky Strike, a 20 lane bowling alley within Jillian's. It's been years since I've been there (Game 2 of the 04 World Series).

There's just really no reason to go to Jillian's anymore. Originally, and still around the country, Jillian's was a giant arcade with a bar. Aside from my living room, it was my favorite place to get drunk and play video games. Then, they got rid of everything, and filled the place with pool tables and eventually a bowling alley. It remains the worst decision ever made on Landsdowne Street (and when your building shares a street with the Red Sox front office, that's saying something).

Now Jillian's remains overpriced, overcrowded, and overzealous. I've voiced my displeasure on having to remove my hat at ridiculous places and you can certainly add Jillian's to the list. I was wearing a ski hat (it was 20 degrees out) and was kindly asked by a bouncer to remove it. I'm not sure why. Either:

A) It's not classy (in which case the bowling shoes must be Manolos).

B) It's not respectful (I saw a hooker shake her head at the outfits the waitresses have to wear).

C) It could be concealing a weapon (Ah yes, the old Bazooka in the winter hat trick).

At any rate, I placed my hat in my pocket (closer to my trigger finger, natch).

Then, there's the interminable wait and sky high costs. Dave's friends didnt even get a lane until about 12:45, lord knows how must it cost.

So, while relaxing at the bar, I mentioned to my friends that Kings is way better. The bartendress overheard me and launched into a tirade about how I was wrong because she used to work there and they changed ownership to a guy who owned Vinny Testa's, and they changed the uniforms to another color and then back again, and blah blah blah blah blah blah.

It went on and on for several minutes (I wish I did have a concealed Bazooka in my winter hat) until I begrudgingly agreed.

I just must've been so busy bowling, drinking and having fun at Kings that I didn't notice the waitstaff's egregious new colored shirts.

The moral of this story is that unless you're going to a Red Sox game, concert, or kinda just want to feel what it's like to be roofied, never go to Landsdowne Street.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Ah Hyperbole, The Fish and Chips of The British Literary Diet

NME cracks me up.

For the anti-Anglophiles, that's New Musical Express, which is the Brit's
answer to Rolling Stone. Covered in caramel. Dipped in Pop Rocks. With
confectioner's sugar thrown at it.

Whereas Rolling Stone completely panders to young readers by fluffing terrible music every other issue (Panic! At The Disco and Fall Out Boy getting covers? Come
On),NME is on a constant sugar high, proclaiming a new greatest band in the history of music every 6 months or so.

About a year ago NME proclaimed Arcitc Monkey's "Whatever People Say That I Am, That's What I'm Not" the 5th best British album of all time! Let me say that again in its own separate paragraph and capitalized as to extrapolate its ridiculousness.

THE FIFTH BEST BRITISH ALBUM OF ALL TIME.

Seriously?

I mean, it's a kickass album, it might be the 5th best album on my ipod, but let's face facts. Beatles, Led Zeppelin, The Who, Radiohead, The Rolling Stones have all released 2-3 albums each better than "Whatever People Say..."

But that's that hyperbole again.

NME struck back again, with a cover that I kind of agree with.



"The Second Coming of The World's Greatest Band". I can dig that. But now it feels cheaper knowing that NME said it.

To make matters worse/better/more entertaining, frontman
Win Butler is pissed because he claims he was misquoted while talking
about the pissing match for all British bands trying to be "the best"
with everything aside from music, citing U2 and Oasis.

For all the bullshit back story,
Check
this


I say, don't expend energy trying to be the best.

Just let NME proclaim it.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

I Wonder if Mary J Blige Gave Up Drama For Lent

First off, I'd like to thank the countlessable people who wished me a happy Ash Wednesday. For those newer readers, Ash Wednesday is one of my favorite holidays that I don't legitamately celebrate. The reasons being far too numerous to rewrite, and goddamn you WordPress for eating the former blog's archives. I will say this though, is there a greater holiday for collegians than Ash Wednesday? The thought of seeing people I saw doing debaucherous things on Tuesday night wearing an Ash Cross on Wednesday morning makes me smile.

So thanks for the text message Jimmy "Gunshot" Clark, thanks for the IM Dave, and thanks for the verbal acknowledgement of greatness Ryan.

Unfortunately I saw nary an Ash Cross today as I didn't leave the house until Trivia (more on that tomorrow). Sigh.

Back to the topic as titled.

Mary J. Blige has been a constant point of conversation between myself and my roomate Matt over the years. Why? Well, over the years she has constantly been wracking up awards on her 'No More Drama' premise, prompting us to wonder the following;

- What are these so-called episodes of drama?
- Are they the same and Mary has not learned from her mistakes OR is Mary some sort of magnet to drama of which she'd rather have no more of?
- Wait, people care about the Grammys?

Upon further research, Katelyn tells me that Mary has been on Oprah numerous times in which Oprah talks about Mary going through so much, yet never saying what she actually went through.

Thankfully, Matt, Katelyn, and I's confusion is not going unnoticed. This week's Entertainment Weekly had the following blurb entitled, "(Still) No More Drama" and featured snippets of Grammy acceptance speeches over the past 10 years. Hm, sound familiar?

1997:
"I didn't love myself.... Mary didn't finish high school and did stuff she had no business doing because she didn't care about herself"

2002:
"You fall into abusive relationships when you don't love yourself enough to think you're worthy of anything better."

2003:
Happiness is a choice, and I made the choice to love Mary and stop looking in other people for answers that I need about myself."

2006:
"It was all about me not loving myself. However you think about yourself is what is going to come to you. That's what I've discovered."

2007:
"There was a time when I couldn't love myself enough to love anyone else. But now I'm in love. For Mary J. Blige, that's rare."

So, remember the moral of the story kids, love yourself OR win loads of Grammys.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Chronicling A Yankee Sleepover

Pitchers and catchers have reported which means it's about that time to spend an inordinate amount of time on stupid bullshit.

Manny Ramirez's lateness - CHECK

Roger Clemens' decision - CHECK

A-Rod's feelings - CHECK

But the A-Rod saga got a bit interesting today with this startling admission concerning his faltering relationship with Derek Jeter:

"You go from sleeping over at somebody's house five days a week, and now you don't sleep over."


No one seems to know how to take this (aside from the morons who hawk shirts in Kenmore Square. The printing presses are running overtime).

Two men in their late 20's having sleepovers? That's just creepy, though the men of Wedding Crashers may find it innovative.

I, for one, am pretty intrigued as to what might go on at a Yankee slumber party. Fortunately, through various FOIA requests I was able to get my hands on a copy of a A-Rod's journal, back from that magical February of 2004.

2/26/04
Dear Diary,

This is sooooo kickass.

Everyone's been really really nice since I got here, especially Derek. I was worried that he would be kinda cold because of some stuff I had said in the past, but I apologized and he was really nice. He even asked if I wanted to have a sleepover at his place in Tampa.

Um,obvi!

Guess where I'm writing from right now, Diary?! Yup, Derek's!

Last night was probably the greatest night ever. Derek invited most of the team over for the sleepover and it was really cool just being one of the guys.

Everyone got there at, like 6:30. Kevin Brown was late. Actually, he's kind of a jerk. When he got there he said, in font of everyone, "Looks like I missed the make-up party, ladies. Lay off the purple lipstick, Alex". Everyone laughed and I felt like an idiot. I also quickly stashed the Avon pamphlets Cynthia made me take
to give out to the guys for their wives. I told her that was dumb.

Once everyone settled (Jose Contreras fell asleep) Derek told us he rented Still, We Believe and that we should order pizzas. Kevin Brown said that I better be paying. What is that guy's deal? I made a pretty great joke about Just For Men. He said something about a Jerk Store. I didn't get it, but I think I won the battle.

The movie was pretty cool. We had to turn the volume up because Enrique Wilson kept texting Manny Ramirez and wouldn't turn the key volume down. Then, we had to shut it off in the middle because Bernie Williams HAD to play us some stuff from his new CD. I joked and said that I didn't like Mamba because of the way they separated the flavors within the packet.

Brad Halsey called me a Fuckface.

After, we had dessert. Derek busted out an ice cream sundae buffet. I made two mistakes. First, I stepped on Gary Sheffield's toes. I mumbled something about giving me a buddy pass, but he didn't think it was funny. He gave me a death stare until he left this morning. Seriously, he didn't even sleep, he just watched me.

That frazzled me, which probably led to my next mistake. I accidentally made my sundae inside John Olerud's helmet. I told him it was stupid to leave the helmet so close to the bowls, but he was pretty steamed. Whoops.

Things settled down after that and the rest of the night was pretty cool. Let me just tell you this. Jason Giambi is the craziest Truth or Dare player of all time. He will do any dare you set on the table. And he kept choosing the dare, too. He's nuts!

So, that was last night, Diary. Today's been uneventful and everyone's already gone. Someone wrote 'Gay-Rod' on my forearm with a sharpie. I think it was Kevin Brown. Why does he have to pick on me???

Well, Diary, I can't wait for the next time. Derek says the next sleepover is in the works!!

I'm so happy I'm here!

-Alex


MySpace Clip Of The Day Post

Romance Advice With Rod

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Saturday, February 17, 2007

Friday, February 16, 2007

The Only Thing Better Worse Than Two Day Old Chinese Food Is a Two Day Old Concert Review

Here's a quick review I typed up last night upon returning from New York. Note the total lack of creativity and excessive use of the word 'fuck'.


The Venue:

Judson Memorial Church was fucking TINY. It was in a sweet location, literally
on the West edge of Washington Square Park. When we got there at about 6 there was a line wrapping around the church and halfway down the block. Turns out this was both the Will Call line and the people waiting desperately to get the 60 extra tickets line. We knew we had an hour and a half to kill so we hit a bar and got a few drinks instead.

Once we got in, it was funny. It was basically like a run of the mill church in Anytown USA, or Canada. The bathrooms were tiny and there were Sunday School classrooms everywhere. The "backstage/green room" was across from the bathroom and you could hear the horns and strings tuning and practicing 'No Cars Go' about 10 minutes before showtime. The actual performance hall was TINY. If tomorrow they announced that they were doing a concert at my high school auditorium, I'd be pissed because the venue would be double the size of Judson. The AWESOME thing about it was the space. There could be about 200+ more tickets sold easily, but they kept it small and easy to move around.

The Show

'No Cars Go'
'Haiti'
'Black Mirror'
'Keep The Car Running'
'(Antichrist Television Blues)'
'Black Wave/Bad Vibrations'
'My Body Is A Cage'
'Windowsill'
'The Well & The Lighthouse'
'Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)'
'Rebellion (Lies)'
'Intervention'

E: Ocean of Noise
Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)

The
show was predictably amazing. They're still roadtesting all the Neon
Bible songs. Some arent as great live as you'd expect, some songs are
just meant for the studio/disc. There was a bit of a lull in the crowd
before The Well and The Lighthouse, that picked up the energy, which
intensified 1000000 times during Power Out->Rebellion. I contend
that's always one of the best segues ever. Even though you know it's
coming, it still blows you away. The crowd was jumping, screaming,
singing, dancing all the way straightthru til the end of the encore.
It's one of the great things about Arcade Fire. You think you're in the
fucking band with them, ya know. There are so many parts to every song,
it's not out of the ordinary to think you're singing with/for them.


The Only Unsuccessful Part Of The Arcade Fire Show

The show predictably owned all sorts of face the other night. I'll have a review up in a bit (because 2 day old reviews are the heat!) and I have some great pictures. But first there's this:



That's right. Couldn't fill out the Hipster Bingo card in Washington Square Park of all places! That might seem like a travestshamockery to you, but Katelyn and I have rationalized it. We think the card is a bit outdated.

First, change the name. Hipster Bingo is sooooo Strokes tour. Scenester Bingo, now you're talking.

Second, no one wears trucker hats, and ironic mustaches are on the way out. Actually, this entire card may be solely based on Ashton Kutcher's wardrobe. Whatever. I'd say replace those two items with 'unnecessary beard' and 'creative scarf tie' and you'd be a bit more up to date.

Unfortunately, it was freezing out and there was no coat check, so it was hard to see any star tattoos, haircuts, and I wasn't paying attention to anyone's shoes.

For shame.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Well, I've Found My New Favorite Arcade Fire YouTube Clip

Pretty much every new one I see blows my mind, but this one is special. This is from Coachella in '05 and is probably one of the boiling points for their US buzz. That's not why it's special for me. Personally, it reminds me of one of the fondest musical scenes in my life that took place about 3 months later at Austin City Limits Music Festival. Standing about 8 people deep in a crowd of 40 thousand people (smart enough to see them instead of Jason Mraz). It was 108 degrees out and everyone was drenched in sweat. But seeing these guys' set made it seem like a baptism. It was unbelievable.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Pre-Show Activities

The Arcade Fire is a general admission/SRO affair so chances are we'll have to get there a bit early. Thankfully, with the help of my buddy Dan, via a website called cartbirdseat.org, I have a nice timewaster.



Consider 'Blogger with a Digital Camera' crossed out.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

I Hate The Red Sox.... But Only Because I Love Them

It's tough being a Red Sox fan. We've gone from being fans of the lovable losers to being universally reviled by most of the country. Our owners feign to care, but in reality they're so anxious to make a buck they're licking their chops for Johnny Pesky to die so they can auction off his body parts. Boston Dirt Dogs is considered the voice of our fanbase. And, the bandwagon is so full it makes it nearly impossible to get tickets without knowing someone with tickets or taking out a second mortgage. So, Red Sox Nation has to endure things like this:

It starts with an email:
Dear Jeffrey,

Congratulations! You've been selected for the opportunity to purchase tickets for one of the following games to be played at Fenway Park in 2007: Opening Day (4/10 versus the Seattle Mariners), Patriots Day (4/16 versus the L.A. Angels), or one of the nine contests versus the New York Yankees (4/20, 4/21, 4/22, 6/1, 6/2, 6/3, 9/14, 9/15, 9/16).


That's right! I entered a contest to win the opportunity to have a chance to buy Red Sox tickets. I suppose this is akin to winning a raffle to be able to enter a convenience store so you can buy scratch tickets to possibly win money. But whatever, I won.

Following that, you get the wonderful chance to experience the virtual waiting room. Since you're no longer allowed to pay homeless guys to wait in line for you outside the box office, the Sox have resorted to this. The Virtual Waiting Room is a website that automatically refreshes every 30 seconds, hopefully to a site that allows you to look for tickets, but realistically into another virtual waiting room. Mostly you open as many tabs/windows to maximize the chances that one of the VWR turn into a ticket buying opportinity (note: it is not yet illegal to hire homeless people to stare at your computer screen with you). Here's what I was looking at this morning:



There's not a better way to spend a Saturday morning afternoon than hanging out in 8 virtual waiting rooms and being shut out for Opening Day tickets. Good times. But my persistence paid off and reminded me why I actually love the Red Sox. After 35 minutes of clicking the same sequence of 3 buttons with alternate security codes, I finally got tickets. Two seats for Patriots Day. One of the greatest traditions in sports.

For the uninitiated, Patriots Day is a made up holiday that means nothing but happens to hold a special place in every Bostonians heart. That's because we get the running of the Boston Marathon and the Sox playing at 10 AM. After the Sox game, fans flock out to Kenmore Square just in time to see the marathon frontrunners race by. Pretty cool, and it's going to be my first Patriots Day game, so I'm extremely psyched.

Now if there was only some way for Sox ownership to charge runners passing through Kenmore admission....

Thursday, February 08, 2007

CNN, You Have Got To Be Kidding Me

So I return home from the gym, only to find out that Anna Nicole Smith died. My thoughts ranged from 'Good' to 'Who cares?' to 'Holy fucking shit, CNN gave her an obituary headshot on their front fucking page'.



This should never, under any circumstance happen when the first three words of the obit are "Reality TV star". Being involved in a court case and having your own reality show doesn't make it grounds for garnering front page obituaries on one of the most trusted news sources in America. If that's the case, expect breaking news cut-ins, when Richard Hatch dies by feltching motor oil from Gay Robot. He won a reality show and lost a federal court case. He's soooo famous.

You gotta be kidding me.

The Onion

Haggard Scared Straight

The Reverend Ted Haggard, who left his ministry amidst allegations of drug use and hiring male prostitutes is now reportedly "completely straight"...

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Goodbye, Sweet Sign

After 2 years, and considerable overuse, I must retire my glorious sign. It was a beautiful day when I stood next to the Patriots' Super Bowl 36 banner waving my sign for all to see. While me, Davis, and Chaves were waiting in line for the stadium security guards checked it to mke sure there was no profanity on it and started cracking up, then it snowballed into me taking pictures with old ladies holding the sign (who never emailed us back, by the by), and got a rousing ovation from the 3 sections below us.

Sigh.



Sunday, February 04, 2007

Super Bowl Thoughts

The Game: I'm sure you've
heard enough about this game to mimic Peyton's audibles with your eyes
closed, so I won't dwell too much on it. But god, I hate the fucking Colts.

Commercials: Wow. What a horrible year for commercials. All ad writers must've quit to start up blogs in the past year or something. The best commercials of the day actually happened before kickoff at around 6:15 so I'll count it. It was of course,Chad Johnson's Super Bowl Party for the
NFL Network
. I won't hold a grudge against them even
though they show NFL Films in lieu of Thursday Night Football. The
commercial featured Janet Reno, Jamie Fallon, Reggie Bush and others all
just chilling. I especially enjoyed the NFL Network bearded dude asking
DavidBeckham about playing football in LA. Runner up being the Garmin Map-a-saurus commercial. Ronnie James DiOWNED. K-Fed's commercial
was good even though I don't remember what it was for and that it's
been out for over a week. Also, Coca Cola is blatantly
showing old commercials, even though they're pretty good, they're not
wasting any money. Sounds smart to me.

The losers being Doritos, who managed to describe their chips as a combination of a car accident and having sex with an overweight supermarket cashier. Whatever. Chevrolet also sucked, but who's surprised? After their first commercial a co-worker said, "I can't believe I'd be wishing to hear "Our Country" instead". Also, can
you imagine any straight man buying a Chevy HHR under any circumstances?

Halftime Show: Prince is a pretty divisive character. People either love him or hate him and there's no real in between. Whatever the case, Prince shredded in pouring rain,taboot . I was worried he would drown. He raged with 'Let's Go Crazy', 'Purple Rain', and covered Hendrix and Foo Fighters and did it all while wearing a babushka. Seriously, it looks like he just got done chowing down on borscht in the old country with my great great grandmother. In Soviet Russia, 1999 parties like YOU!

Saturday, February 03, 2007

An Open Letter To Bars Who Enforce the No Hat Rule In An Effort To Appear Classier Than They Actually Are

Hello, kind bouncer.

Why of course I'll remove my head wear. I can tell by your 6 dollar cover charge that this establishment exudes classiness. I would hate to be rude.

Excuse me, though. Where do you recommend I place my chapeau? In that miasma to your right? Perhaps I could leave it next to that girl passed out in the corner? Oh, she's with you? Well of course she is, good sir.

I'll just hold on to it. Fear not, fair bouncer, for I am a man of my word, and I promise not to place my stetson on my head while inside lest I tarnish your stellar reputation.

Where, pray tell, may I find entertainment, sir? Ah yes, the dance floor. Who is providing tonight's entertainment? Fatman Scoop? No, I'm not familiar, but the way he paints the picture of the New York Transit Line, well, I feel like I'm on Engine #9 itself.

Barkeep, what's your finest Scotch? Bud Light? I'm not familiar with that blend, but I trust your scholared taste in libations. Ah, I can tell you use only the finest in plastic cup technology for serving your patrons. You sir, are why tipping was invented.


Well, kind bouncer, I'm back from my whirlwind tour of your establishment. Thank you for reminding me to remove my hat in such a classy place. Onward I go, my friend, may your eye for false identification remain strong and steadfast, you fucking holier than thou douche bag.

YouTubeMySpace Clip Of the Day Apparently Whenever I feel Like It.

Gay Robot

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The pilot episode of Gay Robot, which is fanfuckingtastic. It features "Jeff" from Grandma's Boy, who, not only has a fucking sweet car bed, but also has a gay robot, aptly named GaY Robot. it also features Randolph's own Nichole Hiltz, who got myself and her brother Justin backstage at my first concert. Presidents Of The United States, baby.

Friday, February 02, 2007

The Arcade Fire Still Blowing My Mind

From NME via StereoGum via the admin of a message board I spend too much time on:

Word to the (golden-ticket holding) wise: When Arcade Fire come through NYC for their five-night run, make sure to loiter. Win and the gang have played impromptu post-show encores most nights while in London, but NME reports that the staff at last night's Porchester Hall gig weren't having it:

The singer got into a bit of trouble with venue staff at Porchester Hall as he attempted to set up after the band had finished their main set, although his perseverance eventually paid off.

An NME journalist who witnessed the incident said: "Win appeared first in the foyer attempting to set up his megaphone mic stand next to the merchandise stall. However, three venue security guards tried to dissuade the band from starting up.

"One of guards was literally manhandling Win, who was pretty pissed off and shouted 'Don't fucking touch me' before shrugging off the attention and defiantly placing his mic stand at the bottom of the foyer stairs.

"The rest of the band - French horns, double bass and all - then emerged from the startled crowd, most of whom hadn't realised exactly what was going on, to play a spine-tingling extended acoustic version of 'Wake Up'. After about a minute, Win disappeared to the back of the throng, leaving the lead vocals to be sung en masse by the audience!"

Butler then led the band back into the hall to play a brief rendition of The Clash song 'The Guns Of Brixton'.


It's Drinkin' Time

Have you always wondered what an Ivy League school would look like in the South? Me too (sorry Johns Hopkins). Fortunately, there's Dartmouth College in scenic Hanover, New Hampshire. And I know what you're thinking, 'Isn't New Hampshire part of New England?'. Well, it is, but in location only, as New Hampshire happens to have the designation of the only Southern state north of the Mason-Dixon line (NASCAR-check, unadulterated white trashery-check, bizarely closeknit residents-check, in fact all they're missing is Sweet Tea, seersucker suits, and dude's with the first name Blake).

Anyway, that lovely Southern Ivy League school Dartmouth has produced an unbelievably great prank on an unsuspecting tour group. The intro is a bit long, but it gets real good in a hurry.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Recovery: One Day After the Mooninites Attack Boston.

Greetings those of you who managed to escape the vicious attacks of 1/31/07.

Consider us the lucky ones. For it was us, The Fortunate, who hath survived the wretched and ruthless blitzkreig via Lite Brite.

What's next for our culture? WE MUST MOVE ON. But first, I profess we should gather all of the scientists, politicians, thinkers, and others essential for the bettering of our society in the future, and move them into a NORAD bunker. If the Mooninites attack again, we must have our brightest protected from the glares of the enemy's Lite Brite arsenal.

Next, we must Laugh. Are you serious, Boston? We got Punk'd by a decent-at-best cartoon? Could you imagine if people found mini Towelies or Butters over the city? Martial Law, motherfuckers.

Anyway, the fallout from yesterday was HIGH-larious, including the most amazing press conference ever recorded (not involving Jim Mora). Bonus points if you know the people answering the questions:



[Adult Swim] and Williams Street and Cartoon Network offered an apology last night. For those not familiar with AS, these white quotes on black background bump ins and outs are the norm.



T-shirts have been popping up all over ebay:






This borders the line between terrible and awesome:


And now, my favorite Mooninite clip (and a question, if they really were bombs, would they have exploded, really really really slowly?):