Thursday, November 09, 2006

Borat May Have Emasculated My iPod of Choice, But He'll Never Take My Jew Gold

As some of you know, I have the kick ass days off of Wednesday and Thursday. Rather than grumble about being the longest tenured writer who should have a better schedule, I make the most of it. If that means having Happy Hour on a Tuesday, going to Bar Mitzvahs on a Wednesday, and checking my Fantasy Football scores on Thursday, so be it.

Much like people in Manchester, New Hampshire calling their shithole of a city "ManchVegas", I call my shitty days off "my weekend".

SaturdayTuesday was a good kick-off to "my weekend".

Guitar Hero 2 was the purchase of the day, complete with new Cherry Red Gibson SG controller. I beat it last night on Medium, the sole purpose being that I knew "Freebird" was the final bonus encore song.

As some of you know, I'm a bit of a Freebird connosieur. Three of my favorite Hofstra moments directly involve Freebird. One, being the time that myself and a few others formed an "air" Freebird band (which I believe was a drunken result of seeing Mini Kiss and Journey's Separate Ways video too many times). The second, also doubling the mosty humbling moment of my life. I was in the lobby of Alliance Hall when a kid came walking through, playing an accoustic guitar. To be a dick, I yelled out "FREEEEEBIRRRD", which he subsequently played, making me look like even more of a dick. Ouch. And the third Freebird moment, of course comes from Happy Hour at McHebe's. It was the song that kicked things off at about 6:30 (at which point the Happy Hour regulars of which I was one, had already been drinking heavily for two hours).

I won't spoil it for anyone who wants to get through Guitar Hero 2's Career Mode, but the Freebird payoff is awesome. All I'll say is that Stonehenge, UFO's, and the most badass dual guitar solo of all time is involved.

SaturdayTuesday also rocked because I saw Borat. Being one of the most offensive movies around, I put on my most offensive t-shirt (Duke Lacrosse), and brought my most offensive friend, Steve. To put it in perspective, Steve has a shirt that says "I am not a terrorist" written in Arabic, and that's not even his most offensive t-shirt. In fact one of our favorite tales is of the time Steve came back from Whole Foods, complaining that people were giving him dirty looks, completely unaware that he was wearing a shirt with nothing other than a GIANT middle finger on it. Good times.


Steve, Jay, and I all had a fantawstic time at a fantastic movie, but I have nothing to say about it that hasn't been said already, so I won't even try.


Sunday>Tonight I'll be at the Bruins game with my brother, but the big game across the country is Louisville-Rutgers. I don't really care who wins, nor do I have much of an interest in Big East football (being forced to watch Syracuse games for the past 2 years can make you hate the sport). But I would like you, the reading public, and Rutgers University officials who happen to be reading this blog to know that they should not be so ashamed of who they really are.

Folks, Rutgers University is living a lie.

It's the State University Of New Jersey, and they're not fooling anyone.

Note to parents: Pay attention to what board games you buy your children.

My girlfriend has a mouse in her aparment (a product of a shoddy landlord and not a general statement on the apartment's cleanliness, FYI) and she and her roomates are completely at a loss for capturing it. I think this all goes back to the fact that she was never able to have Mousetrap as a child. You may think I'm crazy, but years prior, at summer camp, one of my friends caught and killed a mouse using a contraption made with a bucket, newspaper, a shutter stick, water, and peanut butter. This kid was a major pretty boy and not one you'd expect to be able to catch a mouse. BUT he was also rich and spoiled and almost assuredly had Mousetrap as a child.

Sure, you might be laughing, but you'll think of this when you realize your kid's trying out for the Hockey team and you never bought him Thin Ice.

In perhaps the only instance of Eddie Griffin ever working too hard...

Eddie, I dig your Man Law commercials where you pimp Undercover Brother and wear a weird suit, but I gotta disagree with you on your Offense sign. Whereas the Defense sign is just a "D" and a fence, your Offense sign is an "Off" switch and a fence, making the word Offfence. Way too much emphasis on the F. You don't want the crowd to appear to have a lisp, it's far less intimidating for opposing players. A simple "O" will do.


The Facebook group is taking off, even to the point where I don't know some of the people joining. So join and introduce yourself. Or don't.
YouTube Clip Of The Day

Hmmmmm. Wonder why I like this?

1 comment:

ryan said...

Phonetically speaking, "off"-"fence" would be the equivalent of "de"-"fence."