Tuesday, October 10, 2006

People Who Tell Every Detail Of Their Life via MySpace Bulletin Should All Die Horrible Deaths

Hi everyone, I'll be away for the next few days and may or may not update this for a few days (does a tree tell the secluded forest it may not fall for a few days?). So here are a couple of quick hit thoughts and goodies to leave you with.

Yesterday I ranted and raved about the ridiculous nature of celebrity journalism. You may remember that I touted a fake column written by ex-roomate Ryan was as good as, if not far superior, than anything in the gossip rags. Well, Ryan has come through again and I'm proud to present the latest column in the quasi regular column, "Life In The Fast Lane".

Guest Blogger Ryan Lane presents: Because I Didn't Want to Be A Real Journalist, Despite My Degree In Journalism:

"Celtics pre-season basketball kicks off tonight, and fans are anxious to get their first glimpse at the now svelte "Big" Al Jefferson. Al lost 30 lbs over the summer due to eating better and working out more, or so he claims. Our moles hear the actual cause of his weight loss: Jefferson lost his somebody to love!
Don't move on up out of your seat, faithful reader -- sit down, Rondo -- at this news, as rumors had been circulating about Al's torrid love affair with former Sex and the City siren Kristen Davis, which was broken up by a pass from his new point guard! I know what you're thinking: Jefferson, Davis? Well, let me tell you the fair details.
Apparently Davis was in the area filming a movie. The crew was BBQing one night, and Jefferson, walking by, asked if he could join them. One thing led to another, and the C's big man soon was sharing some serious puppy love with the Shaggy Dog star. However, things turned crabby when Al introduced his lady love to new teammate Sebastian Telfair, and Davis's looks hooked Bassy!
Despondent, Big Al secluded himself over the summer and even stopped eating! Finally, buoyed by the support of teammate Kendrick Perkins, who had a tryst with American Idol and Nonantum Carvial star Ayla Brown, broken up in a similar fashion, Al broke out of his funk and hit the weights with renewed vigor. Will the results show up on the court this year? Only time will tell.
Until then, I'm Ryan Lane, reminding you that you don't have to tune into ABC family to see beautiful people."

Also mentioned yesterday, the possibility of a Craigslist Missed Connection of the week, where I would help these desperate souls find those who they spent a magical, yet fleeting moment together. This one comes courtest of roomate Matt (who found the posting and didn't, as far as I know, write it):

CraigsList Missed Connection of the Week (- Brought to you by Cingular[pending])

"You were walking out of the library, and when you turned, i was thrown back by your missing eye...and i kind of gasped/jumped...but the rest of you is gorgeous.... I hope i didn't freak you out!"

Here ya go, loner:

YouTube Clip Of The Day

Speaking of people I know....

This amazing clip was actually shot by my friend Davis Shaw in Austin, TX. I was right next to him as this awesome rock and roll moment was captured.

1 comment:

Matt said...

Isn't this really just yesterday's comments turned into a blog post?