Friday, October 06, 2006

Why Chris Henry Is So Obviously Troubled

Chris Henry is a Wide Receiver for the Cincinatti Bengals. Or, as one Bill Simmons' reader named them, the CincinAttica Bengals. Why? Because the Bengals just can't stay out of trouble. A rookie linebacker got busted for robbing his college roomates apartment, a DE (named Frostee!) got busted for laying a Biggie sized smackdown on his wife, and of course, mercurial Wide Receiver Chris Henry has been arrested three times since December (carry concealed weapon, drunk driving, etc). He just got suspended for two games.

Most pundits can't figure out why Chris Henry is so troubled. Well, I am not most pundits and have solved the problem. Chris Henry's life is the exact reverse of the film Juwanna Mann. That's right, Chris Henry is a woman. And living with such a secret in a high profile, macho environment is obviously forcing young Christina to act out.


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